Christmas spending

[Justnosing]

Aibu to wonder how people decide on amounts to spend on each other for Xmas?

I know it obviously depends on income, and probably how much Christmas means to you, but from what I see on here people spend around £50-£100 on their children, and less on their partners. Whereas where I live it is quite the norm to spend £500-£800 on kids and around £500ish on partners (I’m talking ordinary families, not wealthy)

What happens if you meet someone who thinks £50 is a perfectly fine amount to spend on you but you’re used to receiving £1000 worth of gifts from your significant other?

is it an age thing? Area thing? Have you ever been in this situation where you’ve over gave? Or someone’s over gave to you?

my DP and I never used to set an amount when we first met 12 years ago, used to spend around 450-500 on each other but that amount seems to have crept up over the years. Where does it end? I think I’d like to set one for next year!

this is a light hearted general thread, not for mud slinging

On all honesty I had buying or being given stuff unless it's useful. Jewelry, bags, expensive clothes etc just mean nothing to me. Unless it was for a holiday I would hate to have sort of money spent (and then I would share the cost). Consumerism is destroying this world think about 1 million people buying stuffed they dont need every single year. Imagine the waste from the wrapping paper alone.

I have no idea what we spend… we buy things they DC would like (but still little, so no expensive tech yet) - but we don’t do present mountains.
same for partner…
But also… I don’t know anyone irl who actually discusses what they spend on Christmas.

We don't really agree on an amount but we agree to buy each other something special or something that the person has been wanting for a while. Some years it has been something random but small e.g this year our son wanted a sold out pair of trainers. They only cost me £80 but that was his main present this year. Last year it was a ps5 which was obvs a big present. This year I didn't want anything so I got a week of hubby doing all the night feeds with our youngest 🤣 He got ski lessons from me and a pair of designer trainers.

Me and DH typically have a discussion sometime in November and set a general spending target. Some years it’s been higher $250/$300 (£200/£250) some years lower, this year was a ‘heavy’ stocking year, so small relatively lower priced things). The only real difference year goes year is if we have something in mind for ourselves or the other person or if have something else going on. This year we had a stressful couple of months and neither of us was up for a big Christmas.

lol it may have been foreshadowing when we made that decision since we’ve had the emergency furnace repair guy out twice since Christmas Eve… now we’re joking “Hey Hunny I got you heat for Christmas! Nothing says festive like not freezing to death!” It’s been -10F with -30F windchills since Thursday.

In some ways it comes across as a goady thread because you need ideas on nice gift ideas for £25! Clearly you are used to spending a lot more and have an unconscious bias towards spending more money gets you 'nicer' or 'better' things (not totally unreasonable).

For the most part partners talk to each other. For instance when we first got together dh would buy me lovely gifts that were expensive for him and he would put them on a credit card. I didn't want him spending more than he could afford and told him so. We have a limit for £50-100 and spend more on the children. We both work and if we want to buy ourselves stuff that is more expensive we just do.

Me and DP don't buy Christmas presents for each other anymore, we go away for a weekend in January instead

We do the same, no gifts to each other but book something for Jan/Feb when it's all a bit boring and gloomy. It suits us well, we still get presents from other people, and to be honest, if we want 'stuff' we just save up/ buy it for ourselves anyway!

DH and I used to spend maybe £200 on each other, but once we moved in together we'd rather spend that money on something for the house (we've renovated a home, moved and renovated another since being together - I'm talking literally everything about the 2nd house). Now we have kids (2 under 4) so spent about £50 on each other. We tend to mention things to the other (such as I said I'd love a vague thing related to my hobbies), and we have lists we share with each other for specific things related to our hobbies/likes. We don't necessarily only stick to lists though.
As the kids are little and we already have so much stuff, we spent probably £140 for both kids combined. They don't exactly need expensive things at age <1 and 3!
I can't imagine 1. spending that much money every year! 2. having the massive amount of stuff that such spending would cause. Grandparents were very generous and even then with all that combined it would coke to £500 per child. We have a pretty large house but still don't have space for that much. And aside from teens with electronics, do kids really play with £500-800 of stuff each year?!

I prefer fewer, more ethical/environmental toys that will have longevity, than £500 of plastic rubbish or things which wont be used. And like to think my kids will grow up a bit less materialistic than previous generations, as they're growing up in the aftermath of the wastefulness of the 70s to 20s 😔

We have been together over 25 years, never set an amount.

The most DH has spent on me was probably on an i pad when they first came out and the most I have spent on him was a decent camera. We have even had years where we were so busy it was just a token bar of chocolate.

He makes me a card every year and has for about 15 years, that’s my favourite gift it’s always a little in joke. This year he took a photo of the cat and photoshopped a Santa hat on to her and police line up height board behind her with the words I woke everybody up.

I don't go mad on present buying at all because we are both from big families and we all get lots.

As a PP said we both have same attitude to money and sometimes if there's nothing either of us want we don't get anything for each other. But we discuss it first.

However, I totally go bonkers and over cater on food and drink. I have enough food left now to feed an army (and enough booze left to vet them all pissed 3 times over)

For DH and I it seems to have evolved over the years. Before kids we would spend around £200 on each other - one year he actually bought me an iPad so blew the budget completely. But since kids (now 5 and 8) we limit it to £50-100 depending. We budget about £300 for each of the kids.

We don’t have that much disposable income and don’t believe in getting into debt for Christmas. We currently are more towards the £100 mark but our oldest child is only 6 so I imagine that will change in the future. At the moment with prioritise our spending on days out and holidays.

We spent about £50 each for adult stocking gifts but we are having a winter holiday.

Of course it's possible to buy a lovely gift for £25 but if you're used to spending/getting £100s it'll take some adjustment
This year I got pish chocolates and coffee and DP got a thing for his hobby (yes, cycling)
Other years we get each other books, CDs

*posh chocolates, not pish 😂

It's simple for us we couldn't afford to spend that much on each other!

We save for Xmas and that's that.

If we had much more spending power I guess we would spend more.
I don't need a huge amount spent on me , little gifts that are thoughtful mean much more however if I was married to someone earning a huge amount I would be upset with a very small gift. Call me shallow but I would be.

We don't have set limits on money but we only buy for the 4 of us anyway, 2 adults, 2 (now adult) DCs. We don't get presents from anyone else.

If there is nothing specific anyone wants we just get token items around 20 quid.

This year DH Wanted a new outdoor jacket which was £300 so me and the boys chipped in together for it as he didn't want anything else. I wanted a new bag so sent link for the specific one to DH, it was under £50. The boys bought me a few nail varnishes and some generic wireless headphones. The boys both had trainers for their sports.

However, whatever else I do or don't buy I always buy sweater, socks, smellies and a silly thing for the boys and have done since they were small.

It think should not be a target but rather a thoughtful gift. BIL spends thousands on expensive gifts each year for DSis but absolutely no thought goes into anything just goes into a posh shop and buys latest expensive bag recommended by a sales assistant when actually she would prefer something else.

We've been together 15 years. We agreed a budget the first year we were dating and it's pretty much remained the same since (50 quid)

Most people will date, marry and surround themselves with people ‘like them’

so often this issue doesn’t crop up irl, I’d not date someone who thought it was acceptable to only spend £100 on mt Christmas gift, I’d also not date or marry someone who could only afford that too.

The only time I’ve ever had awkward present politics is when I decide to stop buying for someone who doesn’t buy for us and then they decide that year to actually buy a gift!

I only ever want books. I couldn’t get through £800 of books in a year.

we spent around £70-£80 on each other and maybe £150-£200 each on the children. This year one wanted converse and one wanted AirPods. Both delighted. Socks, smellies and other clothes made up the rest.

i can’t imagine ever spending that sum of money on Christmas, just for the sake of getting more stuff. Much rather spend it on a summer holiday.

@Tiltedandwilted how much do you and your husband spend on each other? Do you live up north? I wonder if this is a regional difference.
DH and I just buy each other some nice chocolates and something nice to drink.

Typically about £600-£1000 a year on each other, this year we spent on the upper end as we had tech gifts to buy.

Live in the south.

What kinds of things have you bought each other for £50?

DH likes to buy me jewellery and I’ve bought him aftershaves and a watch in the past, none of which you could get for £50.

£30 limit for partners, £50 for teens, £15 for other rellies round here, but needs must.

DH's £25 pound present www.nitehawkproducts.co.uk/99175-nitehawk-magnetic-self-resetting-shooting-target.html

Christmas is about fun, feasting and family, not consummerism.

I buy any jewellery if I want, he buys his watches.

@BabyFour2023 a box of chocs and a bottle of gin. We just do token gifts to each other which is usual in my family and social circle.