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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Neighbour’s XL Bully

427 replies

Dente · 26/12/2022 21:33

My neighbour has one of these dogs, which to be fair I always on a lead, but I’m so bloody scared of it when I am out walking my dog. He says it’s friendly and our dogs have sniffed each other and he while on leads, but I just feel so uneasy. I feel that if he slipped and that dog got loose it would be such a danger to everyone around. The area I live in is mainly families with young children and I just can’t understand why someone would get this kind of dog?

I understand all dogs can be aggressive, but all dogs don’t have this power and muscle that means they can easily kill!

OP posts:
Xer · 27/12/2022 13:11

The OP doesn't need to be shitting themselves over the neighbours dog because it's never been aggressive and has never gotten loose. 🙄
YANBU to question why people get those type of dogs in the first place. It could simply be circumstance and nothing as sinister as people have suggested.

As for the PP suggesting poisoning an innocent fucking animal shame on you.

Soothsayer1 · 27/12/2022 13:11

Tekkentime · 27/12/2022 13:01

Yes, people in the UK were obsessed with dogs when I lived there. Acting as if their dog was their baby/child. The dog obsessed culture was insane and unhealthy.

Show quote history

The pet industry works hard to blur the boundaries between dogs and humans, when they advertise to us they they encourage us to think about dogs as equivalent to humans because they know this makes people spend more money on the pet and increases the profits of the pet industry

Soothsayer1 · 27/12/2022 13:13

OP is completely rational in being scared of this animal, it's a large powerful predator which has the capacity to overpower and kill humans
It is completely unsuited as a domestic pet

Ireallywantsomechips · 27/12/2022 13:17

@Tekkentime is this not normal where you are from? I’d genuinely never thought about it just being a UK thing! How interesting!

To those saying OP is being ridiculous and she should be more scared of cows, escaped zoo animals, knife crime etc. I think her point is that this dog is a neighbour. I would be frightened too OP but I am scared of most dogs to be honest.

I was on holiday in the Dales earlier this year and walked past a man with an XL bully, the dog was wearing a harness that said “unfriendly, do not touch” which was helpful I suppose. I liked to think that this level of awareness meant they were seeking behavioural training for the dog but by the looks of it the man in question relished a fearsome dog. It wasn’t wearing a muzzle either!

We carried on and saw a couple with an Akita (sp?). We then walked past a man with a Labrador and he warned us about the other dogs as I was with my 2 year old. He said the Akita had just been straining on the lead to get to his dog and the owners shouted their Akita was unfriendly (they didn’t say this to us but then we didn’t have a dog/weren’t trying to approach I suppose) Apparently the man was seeing more and more aggressive dogs in the area…

ThePoshUns · 27/12/2022 13:24

Xer · 27/12/2022 13:11

The OP doesn't need to be shitting themselves over the neighbours dog because it's never been aggressive and has never gotten loose. 🙄
YANBU to question why people get those type of dogs in the first place. It could simply be circumstance and nothing as sinister as people have suggested.

As for the PP suggesting poisoning an innocent fucking animal shame on you.

I would add 'Yet' to the end of your first paragraph.
These dogs are a breed apart from any other.
I've met softy Rottie's and Malinois and snappy terriers but never a pleasant XL

Soothsayer1 · 27/12/2022 13:28

the man in question relished a fearsome dog
This is a big part of the attraction, they clearly enjoy the fact that other people feel intimidated by the dog, although I notice they also appear offended when you cross the road to avoid the dog.

Tekkentime · 27/12/2022 13:36

Ireallywantsomechips · 27/12/2022 13:17

@Tekkentime is this not normal where you are from? I’d genuinely never thought about it just being a UK thing! How interesting!

To those saying OP is being ridiculous and she should be more scared of cows, escaped zoo animals, knife crime etc. I think her point is that this dog is a neighbour. I would be frightened too OP but I am scared of most dogs to be honest.

I was on holiday in the Dales earlier this year and walked past a man with an XL bully, the dog was wearing a harness that said “unfriendly, do not touch” which was helpful I suppose. I liked to think that this level of awareness meant they were seeking behavioural training for the dog but by the looks of it the man in question relished a fearsome dog. It wasn’t wearing a muzzle either!

We carried on and saw a couple with an Akita (sp?). We then walked past a man with a Labrador and he warned us about the other dogs as I was with my 2 year old. He said the Akita had just been straining on the lead to get to his dog and the owners shouted their Akita was unfriendly (they didn’t say this to us but then we didn’t have a dog/weren’t trying to approach I suppose) Apparently the man was seeing more and more aggressive dogs in the area…

Hi, no it's not normal. There are several scenarios;

  1. barely any dogs at all

  2. guard dogs for large properties that live outside

  3. small dogs

  4. dogs with jobs

There is nothing like having a dog sleep in your bed, badly behaved dogs, letting dangerous breeds sleep with and play around babies/children, owning working dogs and treating them like a child, spending lots of money on dogs, dog poo everywhere etc.

TeamPineapple · 27/12/2022 13:38

@Geekydeaky i really hope that the "bashes", "kicks" and "being run over with kids toys" that your poor Belgian Malinois has to put up with are accidents, and that your children are being told in no uncertain terms that their behaviour or carelessness is unacceptable. No dog should have to tolerate being treated like this, and if children are too young to understand the respectful way to treat animals, and the parents can't stop them, they shouldn't be near them. Hopefully it was just a clumsy attempt on your apart of trying to show how non-reactive she is and that it's not as bad as it's sounds.

I am always uncomfortable hearing stories like, "My dog's so good with the kids, they can do anything with him [poke in the eyes/grab/try and ride like a horse is the usual BS 🙄😡] and he doesn't bite". Yeah, great with kids until one day the dog has enough and tells them to fuck off with it's teeth!

Filamumof9 · 27/12/2022 13:48

Tekkentime · 27/12/2022 13:36

Hi, no it's not normal. There are several scenarios;

  1. barely any dogs at all

  2. guard dogs for large properties that live outside

  3. small dogs

  4. dogs with jobs

There is nothing like having a dog sleep in your bed, badly behaved dogs, letting dangerous breeds sleep with and play around babies/children, owning working dogs and treating them like a child, spending lots of money on dogs, dog poo everywhere etc.

Show quote history

Same in my country, dogs have a "function" for lack of a better word. There are not a lot of family dogs that live inside, get to sleep on the bed etc here. That causes confusion for the dog, as what is their rank in the pack.

My dogs are guard dogs, but are family orientated meaning they will protect each member of my family, including our chickens and cats. I love them, but they know their place in the pack and they are treated as dog not as family member.

Having said that and as owner of multiple big breed dogs, I would personally never want a bully type of dog, because if they bite, they latch on to their victim.

Soothsayer1 · 27/12/2022 13:54

I love them, but they know their place in the pack and they are treated as dog not as family member
To me this sounds like a good approach, dogs are man's best friend but we must not blur the boundaries between dogs and humans.
Dogs should know their place, they are not above humans and they must defer to humans.

Oysterbabe · 27/12/2022 14:03

Pet ownership should be discouraged. They have an enormous impact on the environment.

www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/opinion/pets-uk-ownership-cats-dogs-carbon-environmental-impact-b1249610.html%3famp

Filamumof9 · 27/12/2022 14:24

Soothsayer1 · 27/12/2022 13:54

I love them, but they know their place in the pack and they are treated as dog not as family member
To me this sounds like a good approach, dogs are man's best friend but we must not blur the boundaries between dogs and humans.
Dogs should know their place, they are not above humans and they must defer to humans.

I genuinely believe that is the difference between dogs in most other countries and the UK/Europe. If a dog is treated as a family member, they will try to get higher in hierarchy. And that can have devastating consequences.

My experience is that with any dog you need to use your common sense. Observe how the dog is doing in the pack. Is there anything erratic etc. That also means that at the first signs of unusual behaviour I am at the vet to have the dog checked if it is hurt. It also meant that when one of my dogs ( a smaller non forbidden breed) became dog aggressive towards the others, we had it checked and put to sleep due to a brain tumor. If a dog becomes dog aggressive and have never displayed that behaviour, I will not wait until that dog becomes aggressive towards humans. My dog, my responsibility despite the heartache it gave to have to put him to sleep.

Furthermore, children also need to learn how to handle a dog properly. My son was learned that he could never hurt an animal as he has the responsibility to keep them safe from pain and harm together with us.

CarrotCake84 · 27/12/2022 14:29

Oysterbabe · 27/12/2022 14:03

Pet ownership should be discouraged. They have an enormous impact on the environment.

www.independent.co.uk/climate-change/opinion/pets-uk-ownership-cats-dogs-carbon-environmental-impact-b1249610.html%3famp

So do humans but they cause more devastation on a much larger scale than animals. Without humans the earth and its inhabitants would flourish. Without domesticated animals, the dogs and cats left to breed would cause far more problems. It’s not rocket science.

redflowerbluethorns · 27/12/2022 15:07

There is no such thing hierarchy. Dominance theory was disproven by scientists over 20 years ago.

DysonSpheres · 27/12/2022 15:11

Without domesticated animals, the dogs and cats left to breed would cause far more problems. It’s not rocket science.

What this got to do with unnecessary pet ownership?

Personally I am fed up of the environment being used as means to curtail everything that goes beyond mere pragmatism, but I don't get your argument here.

Octopusmittens · 27/12/2022 15:46

PortiasBiscuit · 27/12/2022 08:07

Aren’t XL bullies bred to be less aggressive? I thought that was the whole point of them?

Less aggressive than what? A charging Tiger?

LaLuz7 · 27/12/2022 15:50

CarrotCake84 · 27/12/2022 14:29

So do humans but they cause more devastation on a much larger scale than animals. Without humans the earth and its inhabitants would flourish. Without domesticated animals, the dogs and cats left to breed would cause far more problems. It’s not rocket science.

Show quote history

So what are you proposing? That we all commit mass suicide? 🙄

Binxybo · 27/12/2022 15:58

YABVU. Spaniels are capable of causing devastating damage. The fact that you believe your dog isn’t capable of causing substantial damage is really quite worrying because it means you’ll be less inclined to control your dog.

I can search for 5 seconds and find headlines such as the following: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2988084/amp/Eight-year-old-girl-left-eating-syringe-attacked-park-springer-spaniel-tore-lip-bit-cheek.html

You can find the same tabloid headlines about every breed but it all comes down to the owner. I have a staffie, and she’s great with dd, other dogs, my cats and chickens. I wouldn’t look to own any other breed tbh. I’ve only met one XL bully, owned by my dog trainer friend and he’s a lovely dog.

LaLuz7 · 27/12/2022 16:03

@Binxybo yet somehow there have been exactly zero fatalities caused by spaniels in UK since 2010. Compared to 7 XL bully death in the last 3 years alone.

Hmmm...

WingingItSince1973 · 27/12/2022 16:34

@ThisGirlNever thanks for the link. Have signed. Sadly needs many more thousands. As said previously my dd and her bf have one along with another large breed and scares me for my small dgs.

righthererightnow10 · 27/12/2022 16:36

oakleaffy · 26/12/2022 23:34

@redflowerbluethorns
My SIL deliberately bought {and paid a lot, £4k} for a working bred border collie.
The Greeder knew it would end up in London, in a small flat, left alone most of the day.
I weep for that poor dog, who is sound sensitive and paces constantly with deep frustration.

SIL refused to listen , her attitude was ''You can't tell me what to do, Collies are intelligent''

They have potential for great intelligence, but they don't train themselves.

The Greeder should never have sold it to her.
But £4k cash for a ''Pretty colour, innit'' {Merle} was too good to turn down.

Depressing.

I don't understand people like this. I would love a Labrador but I know that I couldn't commit to walking them two or three times a day and so it wouldn't be fair. So instead I got chihuahuas, they weren't my first choice of dog but I knew I could commit to the exercise they needed and they enjoy nothing more than cuddling up and sleeping. I love them to bits! I don't understand why people wouldn't research different breeds to see what they are able to commit to. I'd be full of guilt constantly if I felt I wasn't giving my dogs the exercise they needed.

PurpleButterflyWings · 27/12/2022 16:36

Binxybo · 27/12/2022 15:58

YABVU. Spaniels are capable of causing devastating damage. The fact that you believe your dog isn’t capable of causing substantial damage is really quite worrying because it means you’ll be less inclined to control your dog.

I can search for 5 seconds and find headlines such as the following: www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2988084/amp/Eight-year-old-girl-left-eating-syringe-attacked-park-springer-spaniel-tore-lip-bit-cheek.html

You can find the same tabloid headlines about every breed but it all comes down to the owner. I have a staffie, and she’s great with dd, other dogs, my cats and chickens. I wouldn’t look to own any other breed tbh. I’ve only met one XL bully, owned by my dog trainer friend and he’s a lovely dog.

Clearly being defensive coz you have a staffie. 😂 As IF spaniels are as dangerous as XL Bullies AND staffies. LOL do me a favour!

monsteramunch · 27/12/2022 16:46

@Binxybo

I can search for 5 seconds and find headlines such as the following: https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2988084/amp/Eight-year-old-girl-left-eating-syringe-attacked-park-springer-spaniel-tore-lip-bit-cheek.htmll*

You can find the same tabloid headlines about every breed but it all comes down to the owner.

You can't find the same tabloid headlines, in content or volume, about every breed though.

Sixteen times between 2020-2023 people were killed by dogs.

Seven of those were by Bully XLs. A breed with far, far fewer dogs than the vast majority of other breeds.

Making it an even more disproportionate number.

Frequency · 27/12/2022 17:35

A few points...

Dogs do not live in packs. They live in social groups with no rigid hierarchy or clear leader. They'll often leave one group and join another. Pack theory was based on a study by David Mech. He observed a group of non-related, captive wolves. None of the behaviours he observed such as the alpha roll are seen in wild wolf groups who live in family groups with the breeding pair taking the role of leadership. Pups do not challenge the breeding pair for leadership. Mech himself has admitted that his research was deeply flawed.

Also, dogs are not wolves. Wild dogs behave nothing like wild wolves. They're also very aware that they are not human and humans are not dogs.

The XL bully is not a recognised breed in UK. It is a mixed breed.

The breeds they were created from were historically bred to be gentle towards humans. They were used for dog fighting and bullbaiting and needed to be handled by people when in a state of high arousal. This meant that any dog who showed aggression towards people was not bred from.

Of course, more recently a certain class of people, mostly young men, have sought to deliberately breed aggressive examples of the breed. That has no effect whatsoever on the responsibly bred bull breeds who maintain their gentle nature.

Breed-specific legislation has done precisely nothing to reduce the number of fatal dog bites. Banning these new mixed breeds will also do precisely nothing to reduce the number of fatal dog attacks. The young men who breed and own them will simply move on to another breed just as they did when the pitbull types were banned.

The answer to reducing the number of attacks lies in the control of breeding and education. Ban backyard breeding completely. If someone's dog accidentally gets pregnant make it illegal to sell the puppies for profit. Ensure all breeding bitches and dogs are licensed and have the relevant health and temperament tests.

Educate people on canine behaviour. Attacks rarely, if ever, come out of the blue. Dogs give many, many warnings before they bite. The problem is, unless this warning is a growl, which is the dog's last line of communication, most people don't spot the warnings.