Is this sleeping arrangement safe? (Child and Dog related)

[HumanandDogParent]

I have a DD7 and a 9 month old dog (poodle breed, small to medium size). I am a single parent, DD has autism and most nights we still co-sleep (or DD would be up and down all night, although this is something we are going to start working on in the New Year with professionals).

When I first got the dog (at 3 months old) he was crate trained however he now sleeps in the kitchen and very occasionally in my bed when DD isn’t here. However, the last week or so, he has ended up falling asleep in bed with both me and DD and rather than disturbing him I have just left him there until the morning. He is good as gold in general, no issues with him whatsoever, and when he does sleep on the bed he will sleep at the end of the bed and literally not move a muscle until I get up in the morning so he doesn’t ever disturb me etc.

It has made me think about whether to just let him continue sleeping on there seeing as it’s been going well - I don’t mind him being there and DD doesn’t mind either - however I’ve had comments off some family members about not making a habit of it and him needing to go back into his own bed. He does still go back in his own bed in the kitchen when we go out and he doesn’t whine or refuse or anything like that, but I think they are more concerned about safety for my DD - for example, one of them mentioned about him suffocating my DD even though she is 4/5 times the size of him 🙄

Part of me knows that is stupid and extremely unlikely to happen given my DD’s age too, she’s not exactly a baby, but the other part is niggling away in my mind making me paranoid.

Any advice welcome please??

Well he's not going to suffocate her, she's 7 not a baby. The only safety concern I would have would be him biting or something if he got kicked by one of you in your sleep or if he had a bad dream. But only you know if he has trauma or not, I'm assuming not a rescue if he's a pup. Plenty of people sleep with their dogs and let their kids do so too. And if he's a small dog and much smaller than your DD, and you trust him, then it wouldn't be out of the ordinary! But the suffocation thing is nonsense, I can't see how that would happen.

I wouldn’t, not because of suffocation risk but because it’s basic safeguarding to ‘let sleeping dogs lie’

the majority of dog bites are in the home to children under tge age of 12, and some of the biggest risk factors include disturbing dogs when sleeping or eating.

if your dd rolled on him and he snapped at her is a frightened drowsy state how would you feel? Especially if it was a facial injury (most child directed bites are)

Yes, what @FurAndFeathers said would be my worry and she put it better than me

@FurAndFeathers said it all and said it best

YABU @HumanandDogParent .

Maybe put the child first, and be a Human Parent, and then a Dog Keeper. The dog had its mum once, it doesn’t need you to be its “mum”.

I remember hearing a story about a dog biting his owners face having woken up from a bad dream.

Personally, I wouldn't risk it despite the risk being low.

He doesn’t sleep near any of us, it’s a huge bed and he sleeps right down the bottom of the bed. I know any dog can snap but he is one of the most gentle dogs ever and my DD leaves him alone majority of the time and isn’t interested in him - he is the one usually bugging her for attention. I’m not making excuses either btw, just replying back to some of the concerns on here - which are normal to have! I’m not saying I’m going to let him sleep on the bed every night because he is perfect etc, I’m just saying that I’m generally a very safe dog owner and supervise them both together etc, not that I often need to as he follows me everywhere anyway! 😂

I would put the dog in a separate room to sleep. It's only a puppy, you don't know how things will change. If the dog is fine in another room at present then I wouldn't risk creating problems. It's also an added complication if your DD has to sleep alone in future and has got used to the dog being in the bed.

Ridiculous risk. Dog could easily bite, child could roll on it, be too rough, dog could think child is out of order and just bite. You'd never forgive yourself. There's a reason the advice is to never leave a child alone with a dog

Do what you like then 🤷‍♀️

@FurAndFeathers why can no-one on mumsnet reply to concerns without people turning on them? If someone raises a concern that the dog might be aggressive and I reply saying that’s not a concern of mine because he definitely isn’t, there is nothing wrong with that. I’m still taking other people’s opinions into consideration and in all likelihood he probably won’t be on the bed every night, but you are allowed to disagree with someone if it doesn’t apply to you and your circumstances

Why did you post? You've made your mind up it's perfectly safe already - there have been very valid concerns raised, but you're disregarding everything anyone says.
Do what you like - but it is on you if anything goes wrong.

@ladydimitrescu read my latest post. I don’t know why people post on here - you do know I don’t have to agree with everyone right? I am allowed to take people’s opinions into consideration and then make a decision of my own. I’ve already stated in my last post that he won’t be on the bed every night

Then do what you want is the simple answer. You asked a question, got replies and you somehow don't want to consider them. That's fine. You know the risks, you don't think it will ever happen - oddly enough none of the other people whose dogs bit their kids ever thought it would be them too but you carry on!

@ladydimitrescu I’m not concerned about him being rolled on or biting because I know how big my bed is, how the layout is where everyone sleeps and I know what my dog is like

My dog (and cats) now have the run of the house. My dog, a border collie who is 10 has recently started sleeping on my 11 year olds bed.

Honestly this forum is a joke - the people on here turn on you the minute you don’t agree with everything they say - pathetic

Lots of people share beds with their dogs and manage to never get bitten on the face.

If your dog isn't prone to sleep startle and is happy curled up sleeping in the corner, it wouldn't bother me.

Our toy poodle sleeps on/in our bed, as have all our previous dogs - never had any problems.

@AllThingsServeTheBeam honestly my DD never used to be interested in the dog but I’ve noticed that when he sleeps on the bed she is paying a bit more attention to him now - is randomly going up to him and sitting with him, wanting to stroke him etc - she has never been like that with him before. It’s just funny because I saw a post on here a while back about dogs being confined to the kitchen and crate and they were all calling it evil and now I’m saying I let the dog on the bed and apparently I’m awful and my daughter is going to have her face ripped off - you can’t win on here 😂

@thelobsterquadrille yeah honestly he is the most gentle natured dog - when we first got him DD wasn’t used to him being in places and there was a couple of incidents where she jumped down on the sofa next to him whilst he was asleep because she genuinely had forgotten about him - he didn’t even really blink, just looked up then went straight back to sleep again!

Don’t be so dramatic!

no one has ‘turned on you’

you’re an adult, you’ve asked for advice, you’ve had some sensible advice and you’re likely going to ignore it.

that’s fine. You’re a grownup. You can do what you like.

I assume you weren’t posting for approval from strangers on the internet

Dogs always sleep at bottom of our beds, never been bitten yet.

Lots of dogs aren't aggressive , until they are.

Same for me.

but I’m not a 7 year old child. The risks are different - both in the bed and because it removes the boundary that children shouldn’t disturb sleeping dogs.

the DD learning that she can cuddle dogs or pet them whilst they sleep is not a safe boundary to flex

@FurAndFeathers my DD isn’t interested in the dog when he is awake let alone when he is asleep 😅 she literally ignores him 99% of the time, he is the one usually begging her for the attention!