DH insult on Christmas morning

[ChristmasInsult]

DH wished me a happy Christmas and gave me a peck on the cheek first thing Christmas morning and asked if I wanted breakfast. I said something about still feeling full from all the food we had eaten the night before.

I had tight PJ bottoms and a t shirt on and granted, my belly looked huge. He looked me up and down and said “yeah, you’re turning into a wee fat thing again”. Granted my weight has been fluctuating and I am currently about 2.5 stone overweight whereas at the end of the summer, I was “only” about a stone overweight. I’m only 5”1 so it really shows.

I was devastated but didn’t say anything as didn’t want an argument on Christmas Day. I spoke to him today and he apologised and admitted he shouldn’t have said it. I am beyond upset.

AIBU that I am not talking to him on Boxing Day and not sure when I will feel like talking to him again?

or should I accept I am very overweight and accept his apology and get over it?

On a 5 foot frame it is.. sorry.

@Theydoyaknow

Colossal or not (and that’s a fat shaming exaggeration). There’s no excuse for the humiliating comment. It’s probably an ongoing theme in the relationship.

’Colossal’ puts me in mind of massive towering statues! 2.5 stone on a 5 foot frame is massively noticeable though, I know as I’ve been there 😋 I was in denial until I saw photos of myself, no one else ever said anything

She lost a colossal amount of weight and looks very thin.
She put on a colossal amount of weight and looks very fat.

Same

Look you know he doesn't like overweight and it's a turn off for him so maybe he was trying to give you a kick start to lose weight as you're not doing it. I feel your pain as i am Short too and overweight by the same amount. I hate it. Look hideous. I say I'm fat all the time because it's a fact. I would suggest you get over it and do something about it. It's hypocritical but if my DH got fat I wouldn't be attracted to him either as fat men are a turn off for me. He shouldn't have said it how he did but better that than one day he just says I don't fancy you any more.

I have been both fat and thin and called both and the feeling of being called too thin never felt as socially unacceptable as being called fat when you are TRULY obese. I'm not invalidating it but you were drawing comparisons and I always felt a different type of vibe to the insults. I mean generally no one should be commenting on other people's body shape but when people said I was too thin it was because I'd stopped eating and it was a genuine cause for concern. Being called fat was like I was being shamed massively

That's so fickle though. What about when you both age and everything sags?

Why didn't you say something when he said it?

so many on MN never address the issue/comment at the time but spend hours/days thinking. It's like no one calling the police on Eastenders

I disagree. I was told I was disgustingly thin and men don’t like fucking a bag of bones. I was never told I was disgustingly fat. Just fat. The thin comment hurt a lot more.

Ok maybe our experience of it was very different and people should never have said that to you. Any type of body shaming is just cruel and mean.

Yes, I agree with you on that one. I do think people comment on a thin person much quicker than a fat person though. Like it is moore socially acceptable or something.

Thanks for the replies - even those I don’t agree with as it’s good to get different perspectives.

genuine question for those who say not speaking to DH is not on/abusive etc - how do you go about chatting normally after you’ve been upset about something? I’m not sulking as such - but just going back to chatting normally seems so forced.

for the record - I did say to DH that I was sorry I’d been quiet all day because I was still hurting from what he’d said. I asked him to please not comment on my weight again and he said ok. Funnily enough he’s got a friend who has been “let go” from several jobs for giving unsolicited opinions (eg told his boss what she was wearing didn’t suit her without being asked first) and DH always tells him not to offer comments unless asked first!

tomorrow is another day and I won’t let it drag on. I will be cutting back on the crap and starting back at the gym. I do want to lose weight but I will be doing it for me!