To ask the court to dismiss the whole case?

[NameChangeForThis93]

I stopped all contact and made a court application over a year ago because my child was coming home with injuries after weekends with dad and after years of abusive behaviour towards me, I wasn’t taking the risk, especially because my child has a disability and is more vulnerable.

The court agreed to stop all contact whilst the case was ongoing so child hasn’t had any contact with dad since. The court asked for a specific letter from dad nearly a year ago at the first hearing and at the last hearing a few months ago ordered dad to go through regular testing and monitoring (because of previous tendencies and allegations that I have made against him) and despite my solicitor chasing him ever since, he has not engaged or responded and these actions still haven’t been completed.

Dad also hasn’t been engaging or responding to any of the other agencies involved.

Based on this information would I be unreasonable to request that the court dismisses the case and basically just let him get on with it? I think it shows a huge lack of respect for everyone else involved when we have completed all of our actions, and also is just a way for him to carry on the control and abuse through the court system by making things difficult and refusing to comply - if someone had genuine reasons surely they would be keeping everyone in the loop and asking for help to get these things completed etc? It also doesn’t show huge promise of him actually sticking to any visitation that he gets given if he can’t even be bothered at this stage.

I just feel like I’ve already wasted a year of my life on this court case and if he can’t be bothered then neither can I, why am I putting myself through all of this for his relationship with his child when he appears to not care and doesn’t make any effort basically?

But isn’t his lack of engagement a good thing for your case? Does it not work in your favour?

Your solicitor sounds shit!

@Reugny the judge told him with absolute certainty - you NEED to do these things - not just do them if you feel like it

Thanks @NameChangeForThis93
It still seems sensible in the long term to keep going with the case especially given the info from @CaptainMorgansMistress .
Getting a dismissal would still leave your ex open to abuse you via court processes in the future even if you think it unlikely he would bother.

My DP has been to Court over Child Arrangements. There were directions his ex then him didn't follow. DP was worried about it however his highly experienced solicitor said that as they were trying to sort it out amongst themselves the judge would not hold it against either of them.

Especially if you have no interest in considering any of the opinions expressed? I meant you don’t have to at all, but why bother asking in the first place and taking up other people’s, who are trying to help, time and effort?

@Ursuladevine My original solicitor left quite suddenly and when I did have her it was at the beginning of everything - we wasn’t even discussing the end of the case at that stage - she had an accident and is needing quite a lot of surgery - so I’ve not had much contact with my new solicitor - hence the meeting in the new year to go through it all

Is this through legal aid?

@Reugny im sorry I call BS on that because the information they need relates to the safety of him around DC - mental health issues and alcohol and drug use - so no they aren’t going to leave that information out before deciding on child contact

@DomesticShortHair i have agreed with some people and said thank you for new information I wasn’t aware of - doesn’t mean I have to agree with everyone - get a grip

Oh and OP be aware even if you have CAFCASS and SS are saying stuff, the judge can ignore them.

You are better of getting a barrister to deal with your child's father for the final hearing. They will try to get him to agree a course of action and contact just before the final hearing. The judge will then rubber stamp it.

I don't think you should dismiss. I think you should add an additional application to terminate his parental rights.
The child/ren would be better off.

He won't do anything or courses or follow court orders evidently so might be granted and save you grief in the long run.

@Reugny I know the judge can ignore it - but they haven’t - hence why there is a no contact court order in place.

I do have a barrister for the actual court hearings and we already approached him with those things - we offered supervised contact whilst undertaking certain courses and clean testing - then if all successful then going to unsupervised, then moving out of a contact centre etc - he laughed at them and basically told them to piss off

You can call BS but unfortunately lots of parents have mental health issues and engage in drug and alcohol use.

Why be so rude to people who have tried to offer sensible advice based on experience. (And basically call some of them liars).
Not very nice OP, and not in the spirit of the site. But you seem to know best so must just be posting for validation. Good luck.

Perhaps one of the reasons you’re concerned is you’re worried how your abrasive and combative personality will come across to the court, if it’s allowed to get that far?

@Reugny you don’t think I know that? The court have said they can’t move forward and make any decisions about child contact until they have that information - that he isn’t providing - therefore the case isn’t currently going anywhere. What part of all of that are you seriously not understanding? Unless you’re my solicitor, barrister or judge in this case and know something I don’t?

OP if you have a barrister for the Court hearings then follow their advice.

No need for you to do anything but wait.

Waiting is hard but it should be sorted by the middle of the year.

@DomesticShortHair if people are saying things that are not correct in my case and circumstances then of course I am going to explain that it’s wrong and tell them what’s going on - like assuming I haven’t got a barrister etc - of course I’m going to correct them and say well yes I do

The other thing to keep in mind is that unless you’ve completed the process and got a child arrangements final order (assuming your ex has parental responsibility), your ex has the right to for example, pick up your child from school and take him.
you would almost certainly get him back, but you’d have to go to court for an emergency order and evidence that the child usually lives with you, and this is likely to take at least a couple of days.
whereas, with an arrangements order in place which states that the child loves with you, if he removed your child without your permission, you could get the police to retrieve your child immediately

my solicitor said the court itself will get to a stage where they threaten to dismiss it if he doesn’t start complying

But thats not the same outcome as you asking them to dismiss a case you brought.
Let it play out in court. It will give you a better outcome long term.

As the OP is represented only her legal representatives will know her personality unless she puts ill-advised things like his parental rights should be terminated in her written statement to the Court.

Oh and the Courts see parents putting in claims that the other parent is vexatious in bringing their claim when neither parent has put in enough claims to be considered vexatious.

@CaptainMorgansMistress I have already got an order stating that I’m the resident parent and that DC lives with me - so I think that would stay in place regardless?

@Reugny yeah I’ve never put anything like that in my written statement - I didn’t slag him off or anything like that - just detailed the abuse and that was it. Him on the other hand slagged me off to the moon and back in his - said I used DC as a weapon, that I’m jealous and spiteful and just want to hurt him, I’m psychotic and stalk him (I don’t and he has no evidence of this) and the judge was not impressed at all

I think legal advice is what you need that cannot be provided here. In your shoes I would ask my solicitor whether or not he can be held in contempt of court.