To suddenly realise I have had not a single text from a friend this Christmas - I officially have no friends!

[bagthoughts]

Not even a text. From anyone. At all. Except family.

Is this sad or is it just me? I suddenly just come to the realisation this is the first year it's happened.

I have no friends anymore! Mid thirties - is this what usually happens around this age or is it just me?

I received one from someone that hasn’t contacted me in months explaining they were too poorly to drop our presents over. I’m glad they didn’t due to no contact at all and it all being one way for the last two years (all me). I had assumed the friendship was over. So I’m a bit puzzled.

I'm much too busy wrangeling a toddler, cleaning mess of toddler, feeding toddler AND cooking a three course meal for both families to send people texts at christmas. And when everyone left I was knackered (happy, but knackered).

Maybe they're just busy.

You're not alone op, I'm exactly the same. Sent texts all during the past week and all of them have gone unanswered

I can't say that this is surprising. I had some messages on my work WhatsApp group and a phone call from my closest friend, but otherwise just family messages.

Everyone's too busy with their kids, unwrapping gifts, cooking/eating dinner, watching good TV or even working. I respect that. Didn't make me feel lonely or unwanted.

I think Xmas Day is a day where most people are just getting through / getting on with the day. I wouldn't expect to receive or send texts on Xmas Day unless I knew of a family member or friend who was ill or needed anything. Most are too busy on the actual day to be on their phones.
The 'Happy Christmas' texts I did receive and send were on the run up. Although most I know seem to have posted a general greeting on Instagram or facebook this year.
I wouldn't take it personally, OP - Xmas can be a stressful, all consuming time for some - I'm sure your friends will be in text contact again when things go back to 'normal'.

YANBU, it's normal to not have many/any friends by the time you're in your 30s.

Can I ask why this is?

It's really not.

It's quite nice if people take a minute and have some awareness of the fact that not everyone has a family to spend the day with.

It's not.

I have loads of friends, and even more acquaintances. No texts on Christmas Day.

Welcome to adulthood, OP - and you already know this at some level, cos you only sent one yourself.

None either. Do feel down about it.

Eh ?

No it's not. Why do you say this ?

I still have friends sadly when I hit 50 I had three friends die, one was an extremely close friend as well. I actually had a lot of friends in my thirties but worked in a rather amazing place and made some friends for life. Twenty years on and I haven’t worked there for a decade but I’m still in regular touch with four people and a little with a few others.

Family text yes! But only other ones are from our last three au pairs (which was lovely)…maybe it’s something you do when you’re in your 20’s?

No, we did it on Xmas eve knowing we'd be busy. Only messaged my two closest friends and a small gang on a group message. That's all I needed and wanted to do/speak to other than family

I have plenty of friends but haven’t received or sent any texts over Christmas. I deliberately avoid texting on Christmas Day or Boxing Day because people are busy with family. I wouldn’t assume anything from a lack of texts.

Who has time to send texts on Christmas Day?

I haven’t text any of my friends to wish them a happy Christmas - it didn’t really occur to me too. They’re my friends and I hope they had a good Christmas but it didn’t occur to me to message them because it’s not “their day” like a birthday.

I send out a "Round Robin" text on Christmas Day every year to my contacts.

10 out of 14 replied.

It takes seconds. Plus you can send just the one text to multiple people if you're really pushed for time which I doubt

Nobody is that busy.

This. It's so so fast.

This is definitely not normal, but you’ll be in good company here on AIBU as many on here struggle with friendships.

That's not something I'd do. I'm older than you but alot changes in 30s, settling down, career changes etc. Maybe you could make next year the year you'll embrace something new that will see you getting involved with new friends. You've always got friends here to talk to. 💐

Why would you though? It seems odd to me that anybody would want to mass send 1 corporate type text. I get its nice to hear from people if you're lonely and getting a message reminds you people are thinking of you. But a mass text? Why..... Just send a handwritten card with an invitation to meet soon.