A bit of a long one. I have known this person (Angela) for about 20 years and met her through another friend, but they subsequently fell out due to the others jealousy of a boyfriend Angela had at the time. I was a sort of casualty of that too.
For context :-Angela has a really good job it pays very well and she is quite senior. She drives a large expensive car has her own home and buys herself nice things, not all the time, but usually quality products.
I am a joe bloggs sort of person , just mainstream job (very recently retired) drive an ordinary car but have my own home. I have similar tastes to Angela (but since putting on weight not been able to indulge my love of fashion so much. (Currently losing weight to get myself in better shape).
Over the years in a group of 3 single women we have fallen into the routine of having birthday lunches which the other 2 pay for and usually the 2 paying also club together to get a present. For regular birthdays this is usually @ £25 each and its usually something from boden/white company/ jigsaw, ( or that ilk)even if it is just a voucher.
Angelas last birthday was a big birthday and the other 2 of us bought a present to the value of over £230... a lovely pair of earrings. The third person in the group (Betty) I met through Angela but I don't know her as well but single girls stick together and she is a nice person. Angela would see Betty through work but I live and work about 60 miles away.
Bettys big birthday was 6 months before Angela's and this worked out similarly. My next big birthday is in 3 years , as I'm a bit younger.
So over the last few years there has been for me a noticeable 'reduction' in my gifts , which is is stark contrast to the other gifts that are given. They know where I buy my clothes and what I like /don't like when it comes to clothes, and housewares etc To be clear I do buy things from regular stores so this isn't that i dont. But there seems to be a creeping element of this will do Gruffalo but not for the others.
So for Christmas this year from Angela I have just received a small box of 3 tiny pots , which I looked up online at 17.99 from Amazon and a small packet of tissues. I don't normally look up the prices but as i have noticed this for the last few years i did this year, because I really do feel offended. I hunted down a lovely scarf to go with her new coat and enclosed a book for her Christmas present. Last year i gave her a book and beautiful salad server's. She thanked me for the book., nothing else.
We have a group whatsapp and she doesn't answer any incidental texts but when it comes to organising the night out she will send messages to me such as ' really looking forward to the meet up' etc which contradicts her other behaviour.
It isn't so much the value of the gifts is just appears to be a deliberate choice. This also preceded my retirement by several years so it isn't a consideration to that. They also see the clothes I wear , eg Wrap, Poetry interspersed with M&s and the like. Along with the texts issue I feel I am being sidelined to some degree and this is her less than subtle way of doing it.
So AIBU to feel like this and if so, what to do or say, if anything? I have resisted the urge to play tit for tat and carried on buying what I would anyway. I will never get into a row about such a thing with anyone. If the subtle message is ' I don't like you anymore' then fine I will take the notice. Just interested in different perspectives.