What just happened?

[mermaidtail]

They always say to write things down after they happen incase you forget.

Me & DP don't live together, he came round this evening to spend Xmas eve with me & our DD. I've been really unwell all day & said if im still unwell tomorrow I won't be able to go to his dads for Christmas lunch. He said if I don't go then he will only spend half the day with me & DD & then go to his mums as she's really unwell (his mum & dad are separated)
He was in a foul mood when he got here, to the point he said nasty things in front of DD, she then refused to cuddle him or go near him, he said that was my influence.
He said the entire evening was my fault, he called me a piece of shit, said I had a baby on purpose, that he let me live at his for free, loads of shit. He said he doesn't want to be with me anymore.
I asked him to leave 5 times. I then said if he didn't leave I would go next door and ask them to get him to leave, he started getting angry and gritting his teeth at me. (He used to do this a lot but would take my keys and phone so I couldn't leave) so I got really scared, luckily this hasn't happened for a while now.
Its almost like me being unwell is a massive inconvenience for him, he's always really horrible to me whenever I'm unwell.

I managed to eventually get him out the door, the only way I could get him to leave was to agree he could come over to watch DD open her presents.

When he was talking at me and gritting his teeth my anxiety kicked in, because this always used to happen a couple of years ago. I got scared he wouldn't leave. He's convinced he has done absolutely nothing wrong.
I feel so drained, he begged me to spend Xmas with him a couple of weeks ago. His mum called shortly after he arrived and moaned about how unwell she was, so he said he needs to go and spend time with her tomorrow leaving me at his dads house or spend half the day with her if we stay at mine.

I want to call the whole thing off and just spend Xmas with DD at home. I feel like he isn't going to let me do that and will want to take DD to his dads, I've said he can't as he doesn't have a licence so cannot drive her around. I don't want him coming over in the morning, he's upset me in my home and refused to leave when asked.

I feel so so unwell, this is the last thing I needed. Funny thing is he ruins every single Christmas I've spent with him.

He fucks with my head so much, he promised a lovely Xmas and couldn't even manage to be pleasant on Xmas eve.

If I'm moaning about the same thing this time next year will someone please shoot me?

He sounds like an immature man-child. It must be very draining being around him. Him gritting his teeth, making you feel anxious and like he won't leave is not on at all. He shouldn't make you feel unsafe or trapped. Does he own up to his bad attitude and apologise or does be make out its your fault every time?

@GreenFingersWouldBeHandy he has tried to call me from his mums phone a few times today as I have blocked his number.

I feel emotionally drained and cannot deal with him. Still getting over this cold/flu.

I'm cooking me & DD a belated Xmas dinner as my appetite has slightly increased.

Even if I gave him the time of day he would just say all of the things he has said before, he asked me what I wanted for Christmas this year, I said I don't want presents I just want a happy Christmas. This would now be the 4th Christmas he has ruined. Not consecutively as I spent a couple with my sister in between years but found that hard as had to split the day with DD.

Can I ask why you didn't text on Christmas Eve telling him you didn't want him coming to your place on Christmas Day, or any other day, and why you didn't block him? You say you want rid of him, but it seems to me that in some way you're getting something from all the drama. He doesn't live with you, so it's not like you're in a position where you are reliant upon him for the roof over your head, like some of the poor women who post on here. I can understand how difficult if is for them to break free of a relationship, as they are so vulnerable to violence etc. while the man is still in the home, but I'd really like to know why you haven't blocked him? You don't need to have contact with this man, he can organise contact with your daughter through the legal system. You say you don't like him, and that his personal hygiene is abysmal, so what is it that is still attracting you to him? If I remember correctly, you indicated in the post about him not bathing etc., that he's an attractive man, and when he takes the trouble to wash and care for himself you are drawn to him, is it that you think no one else will want you, as that would be silly, bearing in mind if you can attract one attractive man, I am sure that you can attract plenty of others. OK, so he's the father of your child, but that doesn't mean you have to let him back into YOUR life, so grow that last piece of backbone, and block this stinky, appalling, excuse for a man, then get out there, and find someone who treats you right, that is of course if you even want a man in your life after this asshole.