Husband wants to make 3-year-old wait to open presents

[DucklingDaisy]

Please help me settle a disagreement. We have a 3-year-old and a one-year-old. The older one is extremely excited about Christmas.

Tomorrow morning, my husband wants to make her have breakfast and wait an hour or two before opening presents. He wants to do this so his sister, who is our only guest, can sleep in a bit and then come down and participate in the whole thing. Also because he seems to just believe it's a good rule.

I think that's going to feel torturous for an excited 3-year-old. I think it's setting us up for unnecessary conflict and stress, and getting Christmas off to a terrible start. If she was a bit older it might be different. I think an acceptable compromise would be allowing her to open one present before Breakfast, then waiting no more than about an hour to do the rest. I feel really strongly about this.

Who is being unreasonable?

Put a sack or stocking on her bed containing a trumpet, tambourine or drum, and some sweets. Suggest she shows it to SIL.

SIL may wake up

Either send the kids in to wake the sister or open them without her. Is this you husband rule as personally I would care less if my brothers children opened their presents without me??

Whereas having grown up doing this, I adore the presents stretching out across the morning, and a more leisurely approach to the tree presents after breakfast! The one time I had Christmas with an 'everything open before breakfast' family it felt frenetic and unenjoyable to me, the rest of the time before lunch felt quite flat.

Stockings first thing was what we always did - they could wait until after breakfast for all the others under the tree.* Or maybe open just one first….

*Doesn’t work if Santa brings everything, though.

We do similar. Stockings first and "the big gift" (the main gift to the children from us that is left unwrapped under the tree). Then extended family arrive and we do a big brunch and then after brunch the rest of the gifts are opened.

But are you 3?

(But agree with OP that her child needs at least some presents as soon as she wakes up! A 'Santa before breakfast, family after' approach might work here?)

We will be up, dressed and have had breakfast before we go into the tree. ‘‘Twas ever thus and the kids are totally used to it. Stockings first thing and everything else comes later

They shouldn’t have to wait at all. If SIL wants to watch them open presents she should get up earlier. Christmas is about the children.

Test.

Been doing it since before that!

My own two had more than enough in their stockings + one big present from Santa that it was absolutely zero hardship to wait for the rest of the presents until after breakfast/when family were there (depending on how we were Christmassing that year.) And then they get a second go of excitement once the first burst has worn off. We've never had an issue or a complaint, it's not like we're sitting them in front of a pile of unopened presents and not letting them open any!

And at 3, it had the extra benefit of helping them not to get overwhelmed by a crazy amount of stuff all at once.

At that general age, we always had stocking opening upstairs on our bed and gave them a carton of milk or fruit juice and a brioche while it was happening. DH and I would take turns playing with them while nipping to get a quick shower and dressed. One of us would go down put all the lights on and set up the camera and then pop back up for us all to go down together.

Your DH is a bit bat shit. You are there to make memories for the DC, if his sister wants to be part of that then she can get up and join in.

Proper breakfast once they had most/all gifts open.

" 5 presents from us, one from my parents, one from MIL and I'm assuming something from SIL. The idea 8 new toys isn't exciting for a 3-year-old is pretty nuts to me. It's also in line with our budget this year. "

8 toys for a whole years development/fun? lol :-/

Haven't read all the replies yet sorry if it's moved on.

We were allowed stockings when we woke up and had to wait till after lunch (at 5pm) to open presents. Now that felt like torture.

Sister doesn't have to be around for stocking opening so why can't DS open the stocking and then the rest when sister is awake

Nope. Send bairn in to jump on sister. Job done.

Gets on my nerves when people bang on about stockings. Not everyone does them.

You can't buy love @EpicChaos . Clearly you try to though. On your way to raising a Dudley Dursley.

"36 presents? But last year, last year I had 37!!!"

Our family tradition was we had stockings in the morning and then opened presents after lunch. Some times we were allowed one present in the morning, it worked well for us and made the day go longer, mind you I don't know if I enjoyed it when I was 3 lol.
I do agree though its Xmas day she should expect a wake up 🤣

Sil needs to get her lazy carcass out of bed. Christmas isn’t a time to lie in when you’re a guest at someone else’s Christmas and they have kids. So rude.

Is sil even bothered or is it your husband thinking she is. Maybe remind him that these things are only usually amazing and magical if its your own child.

Weve always done presents after breakfast. They are usually ravenous first thing. Presents start at 9amish, after stockings at 7.30

Also we are often in a different country for Christmas so they don't get their presents for several days, just easily transportable token gifts like pyjamas and books

Stockings are the early morning present.
They can calm some of the excitement and keep the kids happy first thing.

@YouScumbagYouMaggotHeresKevinTheCarrot

Not at all, but no jigsaws/dressing up/colouring/play-doh/books, etc? None of which needs to cost much but can help with early/pre school learning via play. It all helps, doesn't it?

Presents should not be opened until after Christmas Dinner.

Do you think he suggested it for his own sake under the guise of being concerned for his sister? YANBU by the way.

Stockings are opened early then breakfast and take a coffee to sleeping relatives.

Then family presents can be exchanged when everyone is up.

You surely don't open everything all at once? That's a bit gross. Encourage the child to play with the gifts they open and appreciate them before opening something else.