To be annoyed at the fact we've been forced into a quiet last minute Christmas? 🙄

[B1993]

We (myself, DH and DS (3.5) had arranged to go to FIL and MIL's for Christmas tomorrow. I got a text this afternoon to say they were unwell and are cancelling. She says they'll be better by Monday so will do it then. I am very sympathetic to the situation and of course wouldn't want them to be poorly with everyone over (BIL and his family were also going as well as other BIL (no kids), but of course, am disappointed given that we've relied on that and haven't planned our own dinner.

My DM and DD had arranged to go to my nan's for dinner. She lives with two of her DGC who
will be going along with one of their GF and their new baby.

I've had covid this last week so we're not invited, despite being negative how. My DD says he's doesn't want us passing anything on and 'risking' it.

So, AIBU to be disappointed that it'll be just us tomorrow and won't be seeing anyone else because we're essentially not welcome?

It isn't you that is not welcome! Its the potential viruses hitching a ride inside you. Yes, of course you are allowed to feel disappointed! But make it a fun day for your little one, in the end, thats the important thing, that will give you satisfaction. ANd it doesn't take much to make a 3 year old happy - a bit of Christmas music and dancing, - a few silly Christmas hats, -a bit of Christmas play dough - whatever is under the tree....

And have a lovely day on Monday

Well I think you are unreasonable to be annoyed yes. Not unreasonable to be disappointed. You aren’t the only ones in this position this year. Loads of people are ill.

Go buy dinner and then invite the BILs and associated family , sorted .

I do sympathise because its all come up at last minute but honestly, Christmas is what you choose to make it and with a 3.5yo it should be relatively simple to have some silly fun and games.

At that age we never bothered with Christmas Dinner, just had lasagne or fish fingers and chips or whatever.

I would be seriously considering a pyjama day together and look forward to a good day on Monday instead.

Well, annoyed and disappointed are 2 different things. Yanbu to feel disappointed.

Yabu to feel annoyed and talk about not being welcome. Obviously people who are unwell don't want to host and it's entirely reasonable that if you've had covid this week that you should keep away from babies etc as a precaution.

Also, if I had literally just had covid I wouldn't be going to the in laws on Monday either if they are ill today - your immune system will be crap right now and you're bound to catch that too.

I’d write off the day, have a rest, watch tv, order takeaway and just pretend Monday is Christmas Day.

I am surprised that you said annoyed. I can understand u being disappointed. I would get in whatever food you fancy,it does not have to be Christmas dinner. Could you fetch a takeaway and keep it for tomorrow?

I understand that no one else wants to get poorly but my parents haven't been doing anything to limit their risks of getting poorly and have still been going to busy places etc (as have everyone else in fact). We're now covid free according to tests and aren't at risk of spreading the illnesss.

I'm sure we'll have a lovely day but it's just not what I'd pictured... we've always had busy Christmases and so this just feels so sad.

Maybe I'm feeling extra sensitive since I'm
pregnant though. 🤔😭

Annoyed was definitely the wrong word, disappointed is more how I feel.

If you’re pregnant I can’t see why you would want to spend the day with someone who is ill. Just have a lazy day instead.

Wow really, that’s so entitled. And it’s not you’re not welcome. Goodness me.

go and buy some food and stop being an angry person

Urgh, this sounds worse than a quiet Christmas if I'm honest. I hate hosting anyway but the pressure of getting everything sorted n a matter of hours for 8 adults and 3 kids... no thanks! 😂

Honestly? Have a lovely Christmas at home. Spend the whole day doing whatever you like, please yourself with regard to food/dress/entertainment, etc.

We always had big Christmases, visiting lots of family, going to one of them for Christmas Dinner, visitors to ours Boxing Day, busy for the entire festive period. Then when I was pregnant with DC3 I couldn't be bothered to go anywhere because I was tired and it was a rough pregnancy so we decided to have Christmas just us at home. It was blissful and I've done the same every year since.

I'm always so grateful when stuff gets cancelled 😁
Nah, you feel how you feel. But you know, you might be surprised by what a lovely time you have, just you guys, if you let yourself. Merry Xmas op x

It's not about being entitled. I don't mean I feel unwelcome by the in-laws (I appreciate they're sick and don't want the pressure of hosting!).

But, I spoke to my parents and mentioned popping over at some point (not for dinner as didn't want to intrude on my Nan) and they said not to bother. They wouldn't even take their gifts because it's too 'risky'. Obviously I don't want to pass on any illnesses, but would have maybe enoyed a bit of other company on Christmas 🤷🏻‍♀️Wouldn't mind too much if they were actively trying to avoid risks in general, but they don't!

Thank you for the lovely response.

Some of these others comments have made me feel a lot worse when I'm already feeling down.

Thank you for a postive comment! 😊

I think YABU.
I understand you would feel disappointed but it’s just one day. People get so over-invested on one day. I have covid and can’t taste any of the delicious foods I have bought, when up until now we have been living on Asda essentials food. So I do understand how it feels when Christmas doesn’t go to plan. You just have to make the most of it.

Thanks for this! Hopefully we'll have a lovely day just us three. Not sure I'll be up for it every year but maybe I'll surprise myself! 😂

You will have the company of your family. U can see the others when they are up to.it or are ready to receive u.

Then don’t moan about being on your own . Basically what you want is someone else to do all the work , charming .

It's understandable that you're disappointed at everything being cancelled last-minute.

But you have enough time to pop to the shops and get whatever you fancy for tomorrow - just have a relaxing day with no stresses and see everyone on Monday :)

Be thankful it's all abit of a farce anyway and forced. It's just another day also like all the other days. Just chill out and enjoy at home.

Reading one of your subsequent posts op, I do agree with @Floralnomad

Is it not that you don't want a quiet Christmas, but rather more that you were looking forward to someone else doing all the work?

I agree. Natural to feel disappointed but it can’t be helped. You won’t be alone, just enjoy this small, special Christmas with only your preschooler- it’ll be busier again next year!