To be annoyed at the fact we've been forced into a quiet last minute Christmas? 🙄

[B1993]

We (myself, DH and DS (3.5) had arranged to go to FIL and MIL's for Christmas tomorrow. I got a text this afternoon to say they were unwell and are cancelling. She says they'll be better by Monday so will do it then. I am very sympathetic to the situation and of course wouldn't want them to be poorly with everyone over (BIL and his family were also going as well as other BIL (no kids), but of course, am disappointed given that we've relied on that and haven't planned our own dinner.

My DM and DD had arranged to go to my nan's for dinner. She lives with two of her DGC who
will be going along with one of their GF and their new baby.

I've had covid this last week so we're not invited, despite being negative how. My DD says he's doesn't want us passing anything on and 'risking' it.

So, AIBU to be disappointed that it'll be just us tomorrow and won't be seeing anyone else because we're essentially not welcome?

I completely understand and would feel the same. I also associate Christmas with being surrounded by family and would be very disappointed to suddenly find ourselves alone last minute on Christmas day itself.
Also there is no way my mum wouldn't see us on Christmas day! My parents also freely mix and if they said it was too risky I would be completely bewildered.

I am not the ignorant one in this situation , you posted on here at 3 , plenty of time for one of you to get to the shops . 3 pm is not late afternoon .

I don't think you're unreasonable to be disappointed. I also don't think that anyone else is unreasonable for cancelling or not wanting to risk catching covid.
I hope you've managed to get to the shops and pick up something and you have a wonderful day in spite of it all! I'm sure you will!

miserable fat old cows with miserable marriages

Well this is horrible.

Speak for yourself , I gave a reasonable suggestion , the OP was rude . I’m neither fat or miserable and am having a lovely Christmas .

I have done this... but that doesn't mean I cannot be upset about it being an unexpectedly small Christmas! 🙄🙄

I was rude?! 😂

@B1993 I disagree with most of the others posters here. If you've both tested neg for covid two days in a row and feel well (do you?), I can't see a sensible reason for blocking you from going to them. Especially, as you say, as they've been out and about in crowds lots themselves. What's the point of the tests otherwise?

That sucks. The Christmas before covid (so 2019) we were due to host my in-laws, SIL and family, and my parents. We all came down with D&V on 24th. First DD1, then DD2, then my partner on Xmas eve and me on Xmas Day. Our Xmas lunch was dry crackers. My in laws had turkey (but no puddings) and my parents just had puddings as that’s what they were bringing! Made for a good story though!

Thank you! I've been a little surprised by the responses regarding covid as I'm now testing negative (a few consecutive days, too). As I'm pregnant, I think the effects have been a little longer lasting and still do feel a bit rundown but generally well. At this point, people aren't expected to isolate if they have covid so the fact that my parents (DD in particular) have refused to see me at all feels quite cold, given they aren't doing anything to protect themselves in everyday scenarios (don't wear masks, isolate, keep their distance, visit busy places etc.) I think that's why I was maybe feeling so upset yesterday - less so about the in-laws not hosting dinner today.

Oh gosh! Sorry you were so unwell - I hope this year is a more festive one for you!! Happy Christmas 🎄

My Christmas meal was cancelled last Monday as the care home where we were going to have Christmas lunch with our dad has had to cancel due to Covid.

I will be visiting dad, also some other relatives but fortunately, I bought food as I did think it was highly likely something would go wrong.

I will now be having Christmas dinner on my own but I'm actually quite looking forward to it.

I'm surprised they know they will be better by Monday, I only had a cold and was quite bad for about a week, not in bed or anything but I wouldn't have wanted to prepare food for anyone or sit and eat with them. Hope you have a nice day anyway.

This is why I don’t tell people if I am unwell (not very often). I make my own decisions, nobody else is in my body.
Hope you manage to have a good day OP.

I can see your parents point.
Its one thing taking your chances out and about, it’s another when you are knowingly mixing with covid. I see your point you’ve tested negative for a few days, but covid is still scary for many people.

I was in your parents situation a few days ago with some friends. I did see them but I felt a bit uncomfortable about it.

For goodness sake. OP will have tested negative for THREE DAYS, today. Of course she feels unwelcome when her own family won't even take her presents to them from her, never mind have her come for dinner. They're being totally batshit. She can't give them Covid, and she'd have been able to be at work for two or three days.

I'm totally confused by people here thinking it's reasonable to see her as a risk to them. It's like you've forgotten how Covid works.

Happy Christmas OP, I hope your partner will help you get in a Christmassy mood. Get stuck into playing with new Christmas toys with your DS, make yourself a non alcoholic cocktail, maybe do some Christmassy baking with ds, go for a walk around the park with santa hats on, play a board game and then collapse and watch a good film. Think about all the future Christmas days you will enjoy as a little family and with your parents when you are all well. I hope you have an excellent time x

Me too 😂 I'm quite introverted anyway and have 4 dc under 11, single parent, 1 child ASD and another with bowel issues. Being at home just the 5 of us is my dream Christmas 😂

I understand its not the same for everyone. But my children are so happy staying at home, playing with their presents, eating food that they like and spending the day in onesies/oodies with absolutely no social pressure. Christmas really is what you make it.

Have a lovely Christmas with your son and you can do it all over again Monday 😀

YANBU to be disappointed but it’s circumstances and things don’t always go according to plan. It’s up to you to make the best of things and not let it slide into being an ordinary afternoon. You do have some control over what sort of day you have at home.

Just have cosy PJ day and look forward to a big Christmas dinner on Monday. It'll be the same just a couple of days later.

Thanks all! It was a lovely day - mostly spent playing with DS's new toys and various games. We ended up seeing BIL and his family to exchange presents and had a lovely couple of hours chatting and playing with the kids. We had a Sunday roast for dinner and (most definitely too much) chocolate throughout the day.

I called MIL as I knew she'd be disappointed about not seeing the kids today (understandably so!) and she was quite upset by the whole situation. Both her and FIL and still quite unwell and she was clearly conflicted about tomorrow as she's desperate to see everyone but not at all well. We'll see how they feel tomorrow before making any decisions.

I hope everyone had a lovely Christmas! 🎄🎁

Glad you had a nice day @B1993. Your poor MIL. Horrible feeling you are missing out and feeling ill. Hopefully you will all have a nice day together when everyone is feeling better.