To be annoyed at the fact we've been forced into a quiet last minute Christmas? 🙄

[B1993]

We (myself, DH and DS (3.5) had arranged to go to FIL and MIL's for Christmas tomorrow. I got a text this afternoon to say they were unwell and are cancelling. She says they'll be better by Monday so will do it then. I am very sympathetic to the situation and of course wouldn't want them to be poorly with everyone over (BIL and his family were also going as well as other BIL (no kids), but of course, am disappointed given that we've relied on that and haven't planned our own dinner.

My DM and DD had arranged to go to my nan's for dinner. She lives with two of her DGC who
will be going along with one of their GF and their new baby.

I've had covid this last week so we're not invited, despite being negative how. My DD says he's doesn't want us passing anything on and 'risking' it.

So, AIBU to be disappointed that it'll be just us tomorrow and won't be seeing anyone else because we're essentially not welcome?

I think it would be different if this had been the plan but it's late afternoon, it's Christmas Eve and I have other plans. I don't particularly want have to put those on hold and disappoint DS to go out of my way to host a lot of adults very last minute. Does that really mean I can't be disappointed about the last minute change of plans.

This post seems very ingnorant to me...

There was more to not hosting BIL that I don't really want to get into so I was trying to keep it lighthearted with my previous reply...

I wasn't judging btw...I'm being hosted as I type...and it's blooming lovely.

Sorry if I misread your reply!

Then to answer your question, no, not about someone else doing the work but just about being surrounded by people... I don't mind the cooking side and have got a few last minute bits in so we can have a normal Sunday roast.

BUT, because it's just going to be us three, I know we'll slip into the habits of a normal day and all end up doing our own thing by mid afternoon. It's never like that with family gatherings, which I enjoy (hence why I'm disappointed).

But you'll be having your day as planned on Monday, so there's really no need to get so upset about it.

Just pretend tomorrow is Christmas Eve in terms of activities, and celebrate properly on Monday.

Disappointing but it is only one day, you can go on Boxing Day if parents in law are well enough (make sure they are because some things linger). I expect they are disappointed too but it's not the end of the world.

I trust you have plenty of food if not quite what you had anticipated for Christmas. Most of us have things in the freezer. If not, the Co-op and Iceland are still delivering today until late.

Enjoy yourselves tomorrow.

I hope so... but I'm not holding my breath as, if the in laws are poorly today and tomorrow, I'm not sure they'll be any better by Monday. Hopefully they will be but might just be a present drop if not, rather than a full afternoon.

YABU. Suck it up. DH and I have had Covid. He tested negative this morning, I didn't. So we have had to cancel our trip to his family tomorrow. Because we are responsible adults who don't want to put anyone at risk, including a very young baby and three elderly parents. It's been scramble to get a suitably festive Christmas Dinner together for the two of us but we'll manage.

Why don’t you tell BIL to grab some bits, you grab some bits and you can have a buffet at yours (make it no cook). YANBU to feel a bit disappointed.

I've had a bug gastro. Tuesday to Thursday laid up so was behind with organising things. Still two Christmas cakes to ice. Sausage meat won't thaw. DS got home late last night. OH had to take him shopping for presents this morning. Am I cross nah.

Christmas goes wrong in families. Illness etc.

Have a lovely relaxing day. Me I'm looking forward to boxing Day when the guests have gone and I can slob.

I've had a virus and a chest infection for ten days now. Been very ill and felt dreadful. Been off work since then, alone and lonely.
I was meant to be going to my best friend's in London for Christmas. The first Christmas in over 20 years l haven't had on my own. I cannot tell you how much l was looking forward to it. I don't have any family besides one cousin, 120 miles away. Plenty of friends, but no one within 60 miles.
So l can't go to my friend, where l was going to have Christmas and a few days after with her and her family, and see my stepsons, who live in London.
I'm not well enough, coughing enough to make myself sick, l'm really not up to socialising and l don't want to pass this on to anyone. I can't be bothered with myself, never mind anyone else.
I'm gutted. Genuinely devastated. I've looked forward to this since she first asked me in the summer. Am l annoyed?
Certainly not. Just bitterly disappointed. And lonely. Very lonely and sad.

Ok... but we've all been negative for 2 consecutive days now (3 tomorrow) so hardly the same situation so it's hardly the same 🙄🤦🏻‍♀️

Crikey! 🤣

Is this post for real?
A little boy has died at Center Parks today and all your worried about is your relatives have cancelled Christmas lunch.
Please try and realise how lucky you are. You have a partner/husband and a child to spend the day with which is more than some.

Stop getting over invested in one day. Think about the little boy whose died today. What sort of day will his parents have tomorrow or the parents whose sons died on the frozen lake a few weeks ago.

The little boy at Centre Parcs is very sad but has absolutely nothing to do with the OP. Her being disappointed that her plans have fallen through isn't what killed him and thinking about how lucky she is won't magic him back to life.

Oh come on. Children sadly die every day through all kinds of illnesses and accidents. Doesn't mean we can't get a bit pissed off about things we were looking forward to. It's beyond awful for that family but you're being a bit silly.

Yes - that's such a good,idea.

Better still invite them over and get someone to do starters/ nibbles and the others desserts.

You get a load of party food and you're done!

If you have a negative mentality, you'll have a rubbish time.

I know you're disappointed but moping and getting upset will only make things worse. A present drop-in is better than nothing and you can have a lovely time with just DH and DC tomorrow if you put your mind to it.

I hope you never ever feel sad, disappointed or annoyed about anything, because I guarantee that many children will have died the same day you do

YANBU to be disappointed. I’ve just had similar happen for different reasons-my family who live very locally have decided they won’t leave their dog alone long enough to have dinner together (my dog won’t tolerate theirs-that’s another whole story)
So having bought beef fillet and ham etc for 6, and done a load of prep today already, we are now 3.
Ho hum, there’ll be a lot of nice teas this week…but it bloody hurts when you get prioritised below the dog

Does it really matter in the grand scheme of things? I don’t want anyone who’s recently been ill visiting us either. The last thing we need is to all get ill again.

Natural to feel disappointed, but there are SO MANY bugs around this year...your PIL can't help being unwell, and if you've had COVID this week I can see you wouldn't be the most welcome last minute addition to anyone's Christmas.

It's rotten luck, but you can enjoy the day at your PIL when they are well enough to have everyone over.

I'm not fat and I've got quite a decent relationship. Of course there are people who think they are oh so clever and edgy to make a stranger on the Internet feeling shit...but most people aren't like that. Get out of AIBU and look at the rest of the site, you'll find witty women giving excellent advice. Couldn't speculate on their dress sizes, of course.

The irony 🤣