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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

christmas with newborn?

71 replies

hohohow · 23/12/2022 19:56

dd will be 4 days old on christmas. original plan was to go for christmas dinner at my dgms house with about 10 family members total. she was born 36 weeks so slightly prem. one family member has said they have a cough/cold but still going. one is currently out drinking in packed bars so if anything is going around i’m worried she’ll catch it and give it to baby.

i don’t know whether to go or not - advice please. don’t know if i’m overthinking it

OP posts:
piglet81 · 23/12/2022 19:57

I would stay at home but I’m basing that more on what a wreck I was 4 days pp! Congratulations on your new arrival!

WhenisitmyturntobePM · 23/12/2022 19:58

Congratulations on your new baby. I’d give it a miss, not just because of illnesses and such but also because you deserve to put your feet up at home and have a rest. Plenty of time for everything else later. Whatever you decide, have a great Christmas.

Summer2424 · 23/12/2022 20:01

@hohohow i would give it a miss tbh.

cadburyegg · 23/12/2022 20:02

I wasn't going anywhere but essential appointments at 4 days pp, with both of my children, even though with ds2 i had a fairly easy ride. Unless you've been very lucky you might have stitches might be recovering from a c section? Definitely stay at home!

thelittlestbird · 23/12/2022 20:02

Congratulations!

I would stay at home and be looked after.

My DD was about 25 days old last Christmas Day and we both spent most of the day in bed / crying 🙃 while my husband brought me chocolates.

Original poster
hohohow · 23/12/2022 20:03

cadburyegg · 23/12/2022 20:02

I wasn't going anywhere but essential appointments at 4 days pp, with both of my children, even though with ds2 i had a fairly easy ride. Unless you've been very lucky you might have stitches might be recovering from a c section? Definitely stay at home!

yeah had emcs so can barely walk etc but i’m not too worried about that as have loads of dyhydracodeine and paracetamol to keep me going, just worried about risking baby

OP posts:
Juicylychee · 23/12/2022 20:03

I was a crying sobbing mess four days in. Had a nightmare feeding, baby had jaundice and I needed to go back in

Daisymae55 · 23/12/2022 20:03

Congratulations on your baby 💕 I hope you and her are both doing well.

Personally I’d give it a miss, it’s not worth the risk of either of you catching it. That first week after birth is challenging enough as it is without being ill. Plus I think you’d spend the day worrying about it anyway rather than enjoying it! (At least that’s how I would be)

Stay home, rest, take it easy and enjoy your wonderful baby! Merry Christmas

scrivette · 23/12/2022 20:04

I wouldn't have wanted to go with that many people as I wouldn't want her handed around at such a young age.

However I did go to a family party (pre Covid) when DC was 6 days old and spent a lot of time in a bedroom on my own breastfeeding which I didn't mind (I liked the peace and took a good book so was quite happy) but I think people were a bit put out that I wasn't around for them to coo at the baby.

Parkopedia · 23/12/2022 20:05

If you want to go and you feel up for it, you could always put the baby in a sling which will avoid them being passed around.

At 4 days pp I would be at home on the sofa eating chocolates though, tbh.

Puppers · 23/12/2022 20:05

I'd give it a miss. DS (full term so no additional concerns) caught Covid at 10 days old and although he was OK (went to hospital as a precaution) it was very unpleasant, stressful and lonely. Even a nasty cold would have been horrible to deal with at that point.

I'd take the opportunity to have a chilled out and cosy Christmas at home, eat loads of lovely food, wear PJs all day and video call the family.

humblesims · 23/12/2022 20:05

my first DC was a week old at christmas and my wonderful DSil brought me round a fully plated up christmas dinner and held the baby while I ate it. I'll never forget that.

NoIncomeTaxNoVAT · 23/12/2022 20:06

Congratulations on your christmas baby! Day 4/5 is prime territory for baby blues / milk coming in (if you are bf) etc. Snuggle up in bed at home, enjoy the Christmas telly and get someone to drop you round a plate of food from your DGM.

TruffleShuffles · 23/12/2022 20:06

My DD was two days old on Christmas Day and I went to parents for Christmas dinner and it was lovely to be waited on but when people there are ill I wouldn’t go. I have a four month old currently with a cold and it’s rubbish, I certainly wouldn’t want to risk having to deal with a baby only days old with a cold.

5foot5 · 23/12/2022 20:06

When my DD was 4 days old I wasn't up to going anywhere. And that was an almost full term birth and fairly straightforward.

All I wanted was peace and quiet just me, DH and DD in our in home.

With all the winter bugs going round YANB at all U to stay at home. If your family are reasonable people they will understand that

Original poster
hohohow · 23/12/2022 20:09

NoIncomeTaxNoVAT · 23/12/2022 20:06

Congratulations on your christmas baby! Day 4/5 is prime territory for baby blues / milk coming in (if you are bf) etc. Snuggle up in bed at home, enjoy the Christmas telly and get someone to drop you round a plate of food from your DGM.

yeah with my first my baby blues were horrendous so expecting the same again in which case i don’t think it sounds very enjoyable sitting around sobbing around other people 😂

OP posts:
Badger1970 · 23/12/2022 20:09

My 2nd baby was born at 36 weeks, and caught bronchiolitis from a well meaning visitor at 10 days old and ended up in intensive care. It's just not worth the risk of mixing let alone with one that's born early.

Original poster
hohohow · 23/12/2022 20:10

Badger1970 · 23/12/2022 20:09

My 2nd baby was born at 36 weeks, and caught bronchiolitis from a well meaning visitor at 10 days old and ended up in intensive care. It's just not worth the risk of mixing let alone with one that's born early.

bless you, my first had bronchiolitis at 5 months and that was scary enough :(

OP posts:
MichaelFabricantWig · 23/12/2022 20:11

I’d stay at home and have a quiet one this year.

congratulations x

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 20:13

I mixed merrily with my prem baby and she got bronchiolitis very badly. If i had my time again i think I'd stay home.

MilkyYay · 23/12/2022 20:13

Ps mine was in intensive care too, fully ventilated. Prem babies are more at risk with bronchiolitis.

Rachaelrachael · 23/12/2022 20:15

At 4 days old I wouldn't even consider leaving my sofa! Germs aside, doesnt sound like fun dealing with bleeding and leaky boobs in someone else's house. Get someone to bring the Xmas Dinner to you and put your feet up!

2bazookas · 23/12/2022 20:19

I'd stay home for a peaceful day with DP and newborn. I'd also hope the family would plate up a couple of Christmas dinners for us and delive them.

Blondlashes · 23/12/2022 20:23

Staying home sounds delightful. Congratulations on your new baby!!
Would you expect someone to come to dinner 4 days after a major operation? That’s basically what has happened to you. 🙂

PipinwasAuntieMabelsdog · 23/12/2022 20:23

There's no such thing as 'slightly prem' OP and at 36 weeks, they would not be considered prem. Hmm