PIL still expecting dinner

[Whatwhatwhatonearth]

We were due to host my PIL and my own parents for Christmas Day dinner. My parents live 5hours away and PIL about 20minutes so my parents due to stay 4 nights and are super helpful houseguests, my DH always comments on how helpful they are and asks when they’re next coming so I know I’m not being biased just because they’re my parents!
Myself and DH are both feeling so unwell with flu, just about managing to look after our 11month DS between us and it’s only two days before Christmas, we told my parents not to come as don’t want them to catch anything, they want to be helpful but aware it’s best just to stay away so will come and visit in a few weeks. My DH told PIL how unwell we all felt, MIL reply was “oh that’s a shame, well we’ll just come for dinner and then leave you in peace” WHAT?! You’re twenty minutes away and can’t be slightly helpful and instead still expect dinner?! I’d be fuming but feel too unwell to even answer.

And dont expect people to be mindreaders. Tell people clearly

This isn't exactly a dilemma. DH just need to call or text saying dinner is canceled as you are sick.

Don't expect them to read your minds.

You need to send them this message: "we won't be having Christmas dinner this year, we are both far too unwell so please don't come as there will be no dinner for you. We will catch up with you early January/New Years Day etc".

Make sure they know there will be no dinner and you won't be answering the door.

Dont tell them you can't as the PuL want to see their grandchild on the first Christmas. Sadly, youngsters dont understand what it is like to be a grandparent. I did not until we became one.

And this is why MN is full of in-law horror stories. Grandparents need to grow up and realise they have no excuse for being stroppy toddlers having tantrums when they can’t have what they want. OP isn’t refusing the in-laws to be mean. She is ill. They can see the kid another time. It is no big deal.

Dont tell them you can't as the PuL want to see their grandchild on the first Christmas. Sadly, youngsters dont understand what it is like to be a grandparent. I did not until we became one.

Please don't lump us altogether in one group. Everyone I know would be massively sympathetic and (if local) offer to make and plate up a dinner for their adult dc to have when they were feeling up to eating, but not cooking.

Seeing Grandchildren is lovely, but, quite frankly they have no concept of what day it is at all, and you could arrange to have your "Christmas Day" in another week's time without anything being lost.

Just say your all ill, dinner and invite are cancelled this year.

YANBU at all! My DH and I currently have flu and can barely look after ourselves.

Why on earth didn’t Dh stand up to the old dragon & say well actually mum it would really help us if you cooked dinner & we come to you just for dinner as we feel absolutely shite; we are exhausted & it’s really unfair to expect us to cook a huge meal whilst feeling like crap.

If she’s no I’m not doing that he should have then said ok thanks see you in the new year & put the phone down on her.

selfishness is something I can’t abide.

"Thanks for popping round to make dinner. There are the ingredients"

Curious.. what happened?

What @Blanca87 said
does what it says on the tin 😀
get well soon 💐