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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To cancel trip to Edinburgh tonight

75 replies

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 12:32

DD6 woke up very unwell. Sore throat sore head etc. she refuses all medication but has been lying on the couch all morning.

we planned an overnight in Edinburgh tonight. I said we can’t go.

OH Is unhappy and acting like a child. He said she would be fine and we should go even just to stay in the hotel.

im refusing as she’s really sick. Of course I’m sad I wanted to go too but she comes first.

I asked OH to still go and take DS11 as he’s looking forward to it. He’s refusing and said I will need to go with DS even though DD just wants her mum.

i said he’s incredibly selfish. aIBU?

OP posts:

5moments · 23/12/2022 12:52

No he sounds like a twat

SeenAndNot · 23/12/2022 12:54

Trip to a hotel with ill child in a big city. Hard pass!

Ponoka7 · 23/12/2022 12:59

If she is really ill then he should go with the 11 year old. I'd not take no to the medication though.

Original poster

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:05

as a punishment to me he’s now refusing to go altogether so I need to leave sick DD to take son.

she seriously will not take medication. Spoke to the doctor who gave antibiotics as there is a step outbreak in her school.

no matter what I try she won’t take it. If I force it she spits it out.

OP posts:

titchy · 23/12/2022 13:06

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:05

as a punishment to me he’s now refusing to go altogether so I need to leave sick DD to take son.

she seriously will not take medication. Spoke to the doctor who gave antibiotics as there is a step outbreak in her school.

no matter what I try she won’t take it. If I force it she spits it out.

So he stays behind with sick child and you have a fun evening with happy child? That's a win surely?

Original poster

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:07

DD just wants me, trust me if I could I would but she would be really upset.

OP posts:

fancyacuppatea · 23/12/2022 13:09

Can your DH not go to Edinburgh alone...and maybe just stay there for a couple of weeks?

ChimChimeny · 23/12/2022 13:16

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:07

DD just wants me, trust me if I could I would but she would be really upset.

That's what he's banking on. What a git, punishing you and DC

Original poster

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:24

i said he is only thinking of himself - not our sick child. He said no and to prove it he will stay with sick child and I should take Son. I told him again that’s not in best interest for sick daughter.

she is really really sick. The sickest I’ve ever seen her. She’s a typical 6 year old and never lies down even when “sick”. She’s throwing up, fever, sore throat, sore body etc.

when I said this he said “you’re wrong she has been worse before this occasion. This isn’t the sickest she has been.”

its so infuriating, how can he not just grow up. Throwing a tantrum as his night is “ruined”

OP posts:

123woop · 23/12/2022 13:25

I'd still go in all honesty and it really bugs me when parents say they can't get their kids to take their medicine, especially antibiotics. You are the mum! They're not in charge! 😬

Original poster

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:28

123woop · 23/12/2022 13:25

I'd still go in all honesty and it really bugs me when parents say they can't get their kids to take their medicine, especially antibiotics. You are the mum! They're not in charge! 😬

Go with her? Or without?

and that’s fine it’s almost like when a childfree person judges a parent because their 2 year old has a dummy etc.

unless you know my daughter you cannot judge. I have never got her to take medicine even from a tiny baby.

if I pin her down she Will literally spit it down herself. Then what?

OP posts:

SouthwarkSwish · 23/12/2022 13:36

@Crystaly if that really is the case with medication, why have you accepted a prescription when they're in such short supply and could be used by someone else?

Original poster

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:40

Well because we never even try to give her medication so as the doctor prescribed this (not just calpol etc) as a parent it is my duty to at least try.

if I said to the doctor.. ohh thanks but no thanks she won’t take it. Without even trying then I’m sure there would be an issue with that.

I will keep trying of course but it’s hard. I’ve tried in her drink, chocolate mousse, yoghurt, in a syringe. Of course I’m going to try!!!!!!!!!!!

OP posts:

AllNightDiner · 23/12/2022 13:41

I'd go with your DS and leave DH with DD. Absolutely the right thing to respond to her illness appropriately, but not OK for her preferences to then dictate whether or not DS can do something he was looking forward to. Stop being a martyr about only being the one who can manage a sick kid and go and have some fun. Your DH might learn something too.

She needs to take the medicine btw. They're not prescribing antiobiotics for no reason.

Zedcarz · 23/12/2022 13:45

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 13:40

Well because we never even try to give her medication so as the doctor prescribed this (not just calpol etc) as a parent it is my duty to at least try.

if I said to the doctor.. ohh thanks but no thanks she won’t take it. Without even trying then I’m sure there would be an issue with that.

I will keep trying of course but it’s hard. I’ve tried in her drink, chocolate mousse, yoghurt, in a syringe. Of course I’m going to try!!!!!!!!!!!

There would be an issue they'd say you're refusing treatment for your child as has been said to me in similar circumstances.
Your husband is being horrible to your 11 year old what an absolutely selfish git.
Not hard to see why dd wants her mummy while she's poorly 😢

Maiyakat · 23/12/2022 13:45

This won't help now but if she's really resistant to liquid medicine then once she's better it may be worth trying to teach her to take tablets (using sweets as pretend pills). This guide is really helpful www.nenc-healthiertogether.nhs.uk/parentscarers/medicine-children/pill-swallowing-kidzmed

123woop · 23/12/2022 14:02

This is insanity. She has to take her medicine and you are being massively unreasonable.

YouCantBeSadHoldingACupcake · 23/12/2022 14:20

123woop · 23/12/2022 13:25

I'd still go in all honesty and it really bugs me when parents say they can't get their kids to take their medicine, especially antibiotics. You are the mum! They're not in charge! 😬

You obviously have relatively pliant children. I have one that will literally vomit the medicine back out if I force them to take it. No amount of telling them I am in charge will stop their reaction.

urbanbuddha · 23/12/2022 14:26

This is insanity. She has to take her medicine and you are being massively unreasonable.

I agree. Edinburgh’s not the priority here. Phone the surgery and ask for advice.

Pleasebeafleabite · 23/12/2022 14:26

Respectfully OP I think your time would more usefully be spent trying to get some medicine into your DD rather than spending your time on here

catandcoffee · 23/12/2022 14:30

Can't you send the husband alone ....give you a break from his selfishness

Skyeheather · 23/12/2022 14:50

If this was our family, nobody would be going. The trip would be cancelled and we would see if we could transfer the hotel booking, claim on our travel insurance (annual) or just lose the money. It's nobody's fault that someone got sick and not fair on the sick child to be left behind.

As for the medicine, have you tried mixing it with food or drink, anything - ice cream, yoghurt, milkshake.....

UpdownUpdownAltogetherNow · 23/12/2022 15:06

Don’t leave her, my 6 year old DS was very ill recently with something similar and there’s no way I’d have left him as he needed me. There’s nothing wrong with your children needing you.

RedHelenB · 23/12/2022 16:04

Go with ds. You never know your oh might get her to take her medicine.

EezyOozy · 23/12/2022 16:09

I couldn’t go and leave a sick child at home , even with my DH there. You must try everything to get her take her medicine .

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