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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To cancel trip to Edinburgh tonight

75 replies

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 12:32

DD6 woke up very unwell. Sore throat sore head etc. she refuses all medication but has been lying on the couch all morning.

we planned an overnight in Edinburgh tonight. I said we can’t go.

OH Is unhappy and acting like a child. He said she would be fine and we should go even just to stay in the hotel.

im refusing as she’s really sick. Of course I’m sad I wanted to go too but she comes first.

I asked OH to still go and take DS11 as he’s looking forward to it. He’s refusing and said I will need to go with DS even though DD just wants her mum.

i said he’s incredibly selfish. aIBU?

OP posts:
BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 16:17

The mummy martyrs are out in force on this thread.

YABU, leave her and take your son, leave your OH at home to look after her.

And for Christ’s sake get some medicine in her

Original poster
Crystaly · 23/12/2022 16:41

So we pinned her down, forced the medication into her and she vomited everywhere within a few seconds. Whilst screaming, kicking and crying. So nope it’s not going to work.

OP posts:
RudolfsLeftToe · 23/12/2022 17:01

My DC is the same OP, he had antibiotics the other week due to similar symptoms. He was barely eating and vomited anything he had consumed each and every time we tried to give him his medicine. We got tablets in the end which were so much easier.
For those saying you just have to get them to take their medicine I negotiated for over an hour and a half more than once, tried mixing it in all sorts of different things, bribed him and still he would vomit - still at a loss to what else I could have done.

Zombiemum1946 · 23/12/2022 17:21

My dh found it hard to accept that the kids just wanted mum when they were sick, and at times would get upset. This only really changed when there was just no choice,I had to go to work and that was that. I worried the whole time, constantly text or phoning, but they survived. Their first choice is still me even though they're in their teens. Try trusting your dh to be a dad.

Pearfacebanana · 23/12/2022 19:34

If she's not taking medicine then in the current climate (strep A etc) she needs keeping a very close eye on. Depends if you can trust your husband to do that or not.

AllThingsServeTheBeam · 23/12/2022 19:43

So mix it in with some juice. You're making it a massive deal. If she doesn't take it like this then she might need it via a needle. I'm sure she'd prefer it orally

America12 · 23/12/2022 19:45

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 16:41

So we pinned her down, forced the medication into her and she vomited everywhere within a few seconds. Whilst screaming, kicking and crying. So nope it’s not going to work.

Can you mix it in with something ?
Then when she's better , practice with something , she'll need to learn to take tablets.

Original poster
Crystaly · 23/12/2022 19:51

Read the thread. We have tried everything. Juice, chocolate mousse, yoghurt. I’m not making it a big deal I only said she is a medicine refused and people doubted that. She absolutely will not take it. She tastes the traces in the food.

OP posts:
CaptainCallisto · 23/12/2022 19:55

DS2 is a medicine refuser. He's had lots of surgeries/hospital stays etc and has ended up having to have all his meds through an IV because nobody, including nurses/doctors/consultants has ever been able to stop him spitting them back out or throwing up.

When he had abx for strep recently, I mixed them in Nutella and spread that on toast. He managed to get it down and keep it there. Might be worth trying that? Something really thick that she actually has to chew, and which properly covers the hideous taste. GP said that even though these abx should be taken without food, it was better to get them into him that way, and be slightly less effective, than not at all.

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 19:56

Crystaly · 23/12/2022 19:51

Read the thread. We have tried everything. Juice, chocolate mousse, yoghurt. I’m not making it a big deal I only said she is a medicine refused and people doubted that. She absolutely will not take it. She tastes the traces in the food.

If you hold her slightly back and to the side, put the medication right to the back of her throat she will have to swallow it, it’s a position used to force medication in adults who refuse (prisons, in patient mental health units etc.)

It also stops the ability to gag and throw it up if you hold there for a second

HerRoyalNotness · 23/12/2022 19:57

What’s with these pathetic men that can’t manage a trip with one of their children for one night on their own?

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 20:00

HerRoyalNotness · 23/12/2022 19:57

What’s with these pathetic men that can’t manage a trip with one of their children for one night on their own?

What’s it with these pathetic women who can’t manage a trip with one of their children for one night on their own?

TokyoSushi · 23/12/2022 20:01

I'm not sure this thread was supposed to be about the DD taking the medicine but more about the husbands dickish attitude...

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 23/12/2022 20:02

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 20:00

What’s it with these pathetic women who can’t manage a trip with one of their children for one night on their own?

Show quote history

OP would manage fine.

she just doesn't want to leave her sick child behind with a man child who has already shown himself to be not remotely empathetic to his sick child's needs.

Latenightreader · 23/12/2022 20:02

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 20:00

What’s it with these pathetic women who can’t manage a trip with one of their children for one night on their own?

Show quote history

The OP doesn’t want to leave her unwell daughter who wants her mother. Her husband is the one throwing a strop over it all rather than trying to salvage something for the other child.

HerRoyalNotness · 23/12/2022 20:03

And I wouldn’t leave sick DD with the OH based on what the OP has written about his childish attitude. How could you trust him?

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 20:03

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 23/12/2022 20:02

OP would manage fine.

she just doesn't want to leave her sick child behind with a man child who has already shown himself to be not remotely empathetic to his sick child's needs.

Show quote history

Then she can go with the son.

You are being very ridiculous

Iudncuewbccgrcb · 23/12/2022 20:05

BrookieButter · 23/12/2022 20:03

Then she can go with the son.

You are being very ridiculous

Show quote history

you realise you aren't making sense right?

nzeire · 23/12/2022 20:06

Oh this sounds awful!!!

poor daughter :(
poor you :(
poor son :(

is there any way you can convince (horrible) husband to go with son? Any way at all? If not, cancel, all stay.

Tickledpickle · 23/12/2022 20:07

My goodness you sound a right pair!

saltedpretzel2 · 23/12/2022 20:12

OP it sounds really hard your poor DD.

Re the medicine, she's 6 I think you said so understands she feels rubbish, and understands what a hospital is. Could you explain calmly that it's her choice not to take the medicine, but she will feel poorly for longer, and possibly have you go to hospital and have a needle stuck in her arm. If she can be super super brave she can have chocolate after each does and a treat when she better?

Might work might not but worth a try??

Good luck

breatheinskipthegym · 23/12/2022 20:13

I’m really shocked at the hostility on this thread, it’s become quite the pile-on.

OP your husband is being an arse, and I’m sure the attitude you’re getting from him and from posters on this thread is the last thing you need. Hope your daughter feels better soon and things become less fraught for you.

I’d hunker down and offer both kids an IOU for an alternative trip together.

Cap89 · 23/12/2022 20:14

Tickledpickle · 23/12/2022 20:07

My goodness you sound a right pair!

What exactly has op done wrong? Very sick child, wants mum. Mum says she will miss nice night away, so that dad and 11 year old can have a fun evening, and stroppy husband is saying he’ll stay, not because he thinks that’s best for everyone, but because he’s stropping and trying to prove some kind of point? Really can’t see how they are both in the wrong here.

MrNook · 23/12/2022 20:18

YANBU, if your DD wants her mum she shes poorly then your DH is being a dick.

Not sure why it's become a pile on and how you're supposed to force her to take the medication if she's spitting it out

FangedFrisbee · 23/12/2022 20:20

If she doesn't take the antibiotics orally she'll be more likely to need to be admitted and have a cannula.