To cancel trip to Edinburgh tonight

[Crystaly]

DD6 woke up very unwell. Sore throat sore head etc. she refuses all medication but has been lying on the couch all morning.

we planned an overnight in Edinburgh tonight. I said we can’t go.

OH Is unhappy and acting like a child. He said she would be fine and we should go even just to stay in the hotel.

im refusing as she’s really sick. Of course I’m sad I wanted to go too but she comes first.

I asked OH to still go and take DS11 as he’s looking forward to it. He’s refusing and said I will need to go with DS even though DD just wants her mum.

i said he’s incredibly selfish. aIBU?

Thanks all. Not sure what happened to the thread either..?! Or what i said wrong.

thanks for the suggestions I will try the Nutella on toast as it’s her favourite.

will take them both another night together we have decided.

I agree with you OP, your daughter clearly needs you and I think your DH is being mean, cancel the trip

You have a behaviour issue that you need to deal with. Most children don’t like taking medicine. It tastes horrible. They take it because they’re told to & what their parent says goes. If she’s really that ill, she has to take it. No negotiation.

Your husband sounds weirdly controlling. Your poor daughter. You staying home and looking after her and your husband taking your son on the trip is sensible and making the best of a bad situation. Making you take your son on the trip when your poorly daughter wants you is punishing her.

it really bugs me when parents say they can't get their kids to take their medicine, especially antibiotics. You are the mum! They're not in charge!

Depends on the child surely. Some are very stubborn and strong willed. It took me 3 different types of antibiotics once to get anywhere near a full course down my child. Half of that was probably spat out. He would cry and cry and cough and get so worked up he would be sick straight after taking them.

My Ds was fine on tablets at about that age - he was also a liquid medicine (and calpol) refuser, when he was about 4 I had a serious chat with him!

I explained clearly what and why he needed to take medicine, and explained that it tasted nasty and why it tasted nasty (to stop babies taking too much by accident and making themselves ill).

I said he could either take the liquid, and we could work on a way to make it bearable, but I knew it would be not the best taste, or he could try a more grown up way to take medicine.

I showed him a paracetamol and took it with him watching, then switched to a small piece of strawberry which I took with water then he did the same with strawberry....we never looked back - it did cause GP's a problem as they needed to look up dosage as they are less used to prescribing tablets to young children but it did work.

well said, easy to judge parents , but some people never realise how hard giving medication.

Have to agree with PPs that your "other half" seems off. If your daughter's sick she's sick; it makes sense to either postpone the trip or have one of you take your son and the other stay home with your daughter. This would be true even if she did take medication and it did relieve her symptoms; she needs rest and stabilty to recover and unnecessary travel isn't the best way to get that.

If he wants to go on the trip, why doesn't he just go as you have suggested? It seems the best option for everyone (although I think it's also OK to reschedule and explain why to your son.)

... as a punishment to me he’s now refusing to go altogether so I need to leave sick DD to take son. A punishment for what? Even if you've clearly done something wrong directly related to your daughter's illness or to the trip to Edinburgh(which I don't see from your posts on this thread) why is he not pitching in to help solve the immediate problem that impacts the whole family, rather than dropping everything to focus on judging and "punishing" you? You're not his child, employee, or servant; it's inappropriate. Are these antics normal for him, or is this a one-off?

I have one child that there is absolutely no way I could get certain medicine into her without actually hurting her and even if I did she’d just spit it out. I could offer her £1,000.

My children have been taking paracetamol as a tablet since fairly young (not ridiculously young) just because I didn’t have liquid paracetamol once and gave one of them half a tablet instead. Since then we’ve always just used tablets because I have them in and if one needed antibiotics would try and get tablet form now.

Honestly the people being judgy about medicine how exactly do you force disgusting tasting liquid into a 5/6/7 year old child? Reasoning doesn’t work, bribery doesn’t work and you cannot force it down their throats. It’s a tricky age for it.

Can’t believe the mothers on this thread who would bugger off and leave their really sick child at home.

Disgraceful. Mummy martyr has absolutely nothing to do with it.

I was a child who couldn't take liquid medicines without a fuss; I would spit it out or gag/vomit I'm still the same I don't what it is, it's not the taste as I did the same when I bit into a muffin with an unexpected liquid centre. It's weird.

Very young children don't understand why they need it. Short of holding their nose and force feeding them.... I'm sure OP has tried everything she can and isn't just leaving her without them

She isn’t ‘really’ sick

Why don’t you have the same issue with the OP pushing for her OH to leave his sick child at home?

It’s really frustrating reading people saying to force/coerce/bribe/reason with the child about medicine. I’ve got a refuser also and the hours I’ve spent trying to get medicine in him is unbelievable and I’ve cried with frustration many times, if they end up vomiting it all back then all that effort was for nothing. People breezily suggesting to mix it with juice or yoghurt as if the OP hasn’t already thought of that! I wasted so many doses of antibiotics this way when mine was younger as he could obviously taste it every time no matter what you mix it with and then became suspicious of any food or drink! In fact mixing it is often worse because there is then a larger volume of whatever to get down. Honestly when you get judged for not managing to get medication in them despite trying your absolute best it’s the worst feeling of helplessness.
He’s a pre-teen now and will at least take calpol but i still dread him getting any illness needing antibiotics.

This thread is bonkers. I'm pretty sure the op wanted a rant about her useless dh not a grilling on her medicine refusing sick child!

Fwiw OP I wouldn't be leaving a poorly child either. Would you really be able to relax and enjoy yourself knowing she's so unwell at home? I wouldn't. Just postpone and go together after Christmas.

Your dh is a sulky baby. It's not about him or his disappointment, it's about an unwell child. The nit picking 'this isn't the poorliest she's ever been' arguing would drive me insane. How insensitive and petty.

It must be very worrying and frustrating that she won't take the medicine. Can you not explain in a very calm and rational way that she might get very very poorly and even have to go to hospital over Christmas if she doesn't take it? Would bribery work? People giving you a hard time about it are complete morons.

Honestly I think this time of the year in Edinburgh is HEAVING with last minute shoppers and visitors to the market, and the last place you would want to kick about unwell.

I can't quite believe this thread. Is he the natural father? I honestly don't know of any father (work colleague, relative or friend) who would not postpone a trip, literally at the drop of a hat if one member of the family (particularly one so young) was unwell. Complete and utter arsehole. Men like that don't deserve children. They are not mature or selfless enough to handle the curveballs and minor disappointments.

It would be a huge pity if the 11 year old wasn't compassionate enough too to fully understand and put his sister first? Perhaps he is and this is totally about the father?

The more serious side of course is the little girls health. Keep a close eye and know when to call a gp or 111.

A weekend away will surely be more memorable when everyone is happy and healthy.

Sounds grim, OP. There's nothing like illness to fuck up a plan!
Hope your daughter feels better soon

Sorry OP I should have also said that my son too was a liquid medicine refuser. We even tried the plunger thing - which stuck and the medicine ended up shooting up the wall. He was put in half / quarter tablets of various forms over the years (crushed and hidden in a sweet treat) until he happily knocked back a tablet in his own. You'll get there. I haven't read all of the threads but perhaps try hiding the doze of calpol? In a number of smaller treats? Is she up for taking anything sweet? Or a smoothy? Or strawberry ice cream - help her keep cool and the calpol taste will be hidden.

What's the matter with your dh? How can you live with someone like that? Bloody hell I couldn't.

You have my deepest sympathy OP, as my child used to be a refuser too. I tried everything, even holding her nose, but as you've found if they really can't take it, they'll either spit it out, or vomit it back up. We never did find an answer to it, but thankfully she did finally grow out of it.

As for your trip, I think you made the best decision, as even if you'd forced yourself to go and take your DS, you wouldn't have enjoyed it, and certainly wouldn't have given him your best, as you'd have been too worried about your little one.

It seems that your 'H' has yet to realise that for a child, being ill is a very frightening event, and that they are bound to want their Mother over and above anyone else. Having a strop in this circumstance was puerile. It's time he grew up!

Congratulations you have a pliant child give yourself a clap 👏

Sympathy from me too. My DD refused liquid meds too. Absolute nonsense for someone without a child like this to say just make them 🙄as if you haven't tried. We occasionally got it in her in other food or with a syringe, but even then half of it would but spat out/ thrown up.

The good news is both DCs take any size tablets now they're older with no arguments at all.

I also would not leave a sick child at home, even with their dad. They want mum when ill and I couldn't relax not knowing how they are.

So no answers I'm afraid but lots of sympathy. Hope she's feeling better for Christmas day x

My DS2 wouldn't take medicine. I was one of these "I'm in charge" mothers, but it doesn't work if the child vomits everything.

So, DS learnt to take pills very early, to avoid the liquid medicine. Its there any chance you could try pills? Cut them in half, or coat them in honey to make them easier to swallow, or give her some drink she likes to make it more interesting.

Haven’t read whole thread but he is being a dick. My kids have had flu virus sounding v similar to this beginning last Saturday. It’s horrible. DS snd DD still has temperature needing medication today. I can think of nothing worse than travelling/being in a hotel or out and about if I had it.