Meet the Other Phone. Flexible and made to last.

Meet the Other Phone.
Flexible and made to last.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To wonder how the huge American families can afford it?

104 replies

00100001 · 23/12/2022 11:32

So you have blogging families who have like 9,10,11,12+ kids.

HOW??

OP posts:
Whee · 24/12/2022 16:18

lurkinglittleladybug · 24/12/2022 01:14

Families like the duggars/ Bates etc make money from the reality TV shows they do, and books and stuff.

Before they were famous ‘God would provide’ … They would get charity from church, buy clothes from thrift stores/ hand me downs and they would all be crammed into a too small house and sharing bedrooms. I imagine it would be awful for the children all living on top of each other like that, having to follow strict religious rules and dress codes, unable to have any privacy and growing up homeschooled without much social interaction outside the family, also older kids having to be parents to their younger siblings … Sounds like a recipe for childhood trauma and potential abuse. The eldest Duggar brother apparently abused his sisters and is now in prison for child abuse images on his computer…

Also they seem to be expected to marry the first person they date, and not allowed to have their first kiss till they marry. I also suspect they teach against contraception. Personally I think it’s irresponsible keep having children without the space, money and time needed for them.

I agree there seems to be a big reliance on god (or the church) providing. Kendra Duggar (married into the Duggar family) was pregnant at the same time as her mother, who was on something like her 10th child. The parents were homeless so the Duggars provided a home for them. Imagine getting pregnant for a TENTH time when you can't afford to house the 9 you have. Kendra Duggar is fascinating in herself. Has had 4 children in about 4 years and is only about 22...

knitnerd90 · 24/12/2022 18:14

The media-friendly hyper-Christian families are, I think, very unrepresentative. Most of these families don't have a lot of money. A lot of the churches who promote this lifestyle discourage higher education. The Duggars' group basically doesn't allow it. Some slightly more liberal ones do, but only at religious universities like Bob Jones or Liberty. They also tend to live in less expensive parts of the country, which makes housing more affordable. Some of them also don't believe in health insurance, like the Duggars, so they're just not paying for that either. They do those Christian "health shares" that aren't real insurance.

The LDS church (mormons) doesn't routinely provide members with assistance. Quite the opposite: you tithe 10% of your income and they check. If you don't pay your tithe, you don't get your temple recommend. What the church does give you are connections. If you're willing to work, you will have a job. The church also heavily subsidises tuition at BYU, which helps encourage LDS youth to marry young. It's not uncommon for them to marry while still at university.

The US taxes on joint income, which is more favourable to families where one spouse earns significantly more than the other. There is a large tax free allowance (If you don't itemise) and child tax credits. The tax system is hugely complicated but families with children do fairly well; the problem is that you're left to pay more of your health and child care costs. Salaries in the USA are higher in many fields. Housing here is as bad as UK, Canada, Australia if you're in a major city, and yes groceries are higher... though IME still not as bad as Canada or Australia.

Not all American houses are huge. They always show massive ones on TV and often news articles cite average sizes of new build houses--not all houses. New build size has gone up substantially over the years, not just because of buyer demand, but because of builder profit. The municipality will say to the builder, you can build X houses on Y acres. They can't build more houses to increase profit, but they can make each unit bigger as long as they don't exceed the buildable area per lot, and it's all profit since making a house bigger is relatively inexpensive. Since a lot of municipalities insist on relatively large lots, they can build massive houses. My house was built in the 1970s. It's nicely sized (about 2k SF), not as big as a modern one would be. But I have the same if not larger land size as a new build. Nowadays they'd put something nearly twice the size on it if they were allowed, though my county now insists on higher building density in most areas.

American housing stock and size varies quite a lot by age and location. So in East Coast cities you have row houses (terraces) that are quite like what you'd see in Britain. In LA and San Diego there's lots of small bungalows. 1950s suburban houses are relatively small: the original mass produced Levitt house was 750 SF (most have been renovated and expanded now) and the ranches and split levels were 1200-1500. There's still loads of Americans living in houses like that.

MrsCarson · 24/12/2022 21:24

BritWifeInUSA

My kids did the drivers class in high school (California). It's no long the gym teacher with three kids in the car taking turns like my Dh did in the 70's. Now it's class based and they have to pass to get a pink slip that they take to DMV and apply for the Provisional license (learners permit as they call it) Rules changed to where we were they needed 4 professional lessons and the instructor told them what to practice before the next lesson. So they would drive me all over for practice. No extra cost on our insurance to have a learner driving, and no L plates.

SleekMamma · 26/12/2022 18:29

These families come from communities where contraception or family planning is not allowed. At all. So therefore they have lots of children. Every woman should be allowed to plan her family imo.

New posts on this thread. Refresh page
Swipe left for the next trending thread