To wonder how the huge American families can afford it?

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So you have blogging families who have like 9,10,11,12+ kids.

HOW??

I don’t have a dozen children but I do live in the US. Families like the Duggars are not a good example of how large families live here. Before TV found them they lived in an old, small house. I think they had 3 bedrooms and at that stage 15 or so children. Along came TLC and found them and suddenly they move into the big tin mansion, the children are having music lessons, and they’re going on overseas trips. Just as the Radfords are not really raising 20+ children on the income of a small pie shop (and anyone who believes that they are needs a calculator), the Duggars and other TV/Instagram families are being paid handsomely through sponsorships, etc.

Housing, fuel, and taxes are lower here. Everything else is more expensive but wages are higher. We have a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with an office, double garage, hobby shed, pool, hot tub, a few acres of land and we are oceanfront. Cost? $250k. Bought 3 years ago. My salary is $182k a year doing the same job I was paid £70k in the UK for. My taxes are less than 20%. In the UK I was in the 40% bracket and there was NI on top too. Sales tax (equivalent of VAT) is less than 10% in this state. It’s easier to be better off here.

Families like the duggars/ Bates etc make money from the reality TV shows they do, and books and stuff.

Before they were famous ‘God would provide’ … They would get charity from church, buy clothes from thrift stores/ hand me downs and they would all be crammed into a too small house and sharing bedrooms. I imagine it would be awful for the children all living on top of each other like that, having to follow strict religious rules and dress codes, unable to have any privacy and growing up homeschooled without much social interaction outside the family, also older kids having to be parents to their younger siblings … Sounds like a recipe for childhood trauma and potential abuse. The eldest Duggar brother apparently abused his sisters and is now in prison for child abuse images on his computer…

Also they seem to be expected to marry the first person they date, and not allowed to have their first kiss till they marry. I also suspect they teach against contraception. Personally I think it’s irresponsible keep having children without the space, money and time needed for them.

Salaries are much higher. The average cop in the US earns $55k, but often they earn way more with overtime. Our local police and fire chiefs earn $250k per year.

Drivers Ed is offered in schools. Here in Florida, they used to be legally required to offer it. I don’t know if it’s different now but I know the kids in my county do. Some instructors in school are authorized to certify that a student has met the testing requirements and the teen can get a license that way. I wasn’t that good, so spent a couple more years practicing. Once you have a learners permit, you may drive in any car with any licensed driver who is over 21.

As for swimming, I think some people do pay, but in Coastal Florida it is considered a critical skill. Swim lessons are through recreation centers, service clubs, private clubs, community centers. I suppose some people make a little money by teaching privately, but I don’t know anyone who learned that way.

They make a huge amount of money from social media and most of their “hauls” will be sponsored.
Before they find fame, I would assume it’s a combination of living frugally and a reasonable income. Those with children who are fostered/ adopted will get a monthly allowance for them and healthcare covered. I don’t live in the US so I can’t comment on how generous the allowances are.

Thankyou, really interesting post and informative

@MadCattery where we live, the driver’s Ed offered at schools isn’t free. My DD (17) took it last summer and we paid for it. She has friends at other local high schools and they’ve all had to pay.
Is it really free in Florida- If so I’m envious?!

Some you tube family vloggers earn hundreds of thousands of dollars - which easily explains how they afford everything. The price being their childrens privacy, constantly being pimped out online for all to see.

@MadCattery what have you learned about The UK from being on here, that you didn't know before, how different is your perception of life here from what it was before, and what are the things about The UK which you think are better or worse than The USA? Just super curious to know :)

This is really interesting thank you.

By comparison my (rented) home in England is about 750sq ft, with no garage or off street parking. A house on my road sold recently for $313,000.(£260k) My income is just over $23,000 (£19k ish) per year.

That's extremely location specific. It wouldn't be the case in boston, new york or San Francisco.

Or is it a case of them not doing things like that?

Yes.

Low income big families in the U.K. don't do those things either!

Paid swimming lessons are very middle class.

My DCs learned by going with relatives to the local pool for £1.

I've worked with plenty of poor dcs who've never been out for a meal with their parents/siblings not even weatherspoons.

If you are in social housing in the U.K. it's very hard to get more than a 3 bed. There were 4 bed (max) council houses built in the 50s/60s but they mostly went through RTB. So bigger families just bunk bed up in those rooms or sometimes parents sleep on sofa beds in the living room. Usually older ones would get their own council house once they were 16 (back in the day).

I would guess that Mormon families get support from the church. It’s common for them to have large families and used to be several wives.
American houses are big because fuel (oil and gas) is found there and so much cheaper than here, hence also huge cars, so if that’s not an issue then it’s building costs and they don’t use brick, more wood and chipboard so cheaper. You see them flattened in tornadoes.

I agree with that but generally speaking properties over the pond are bigger and cheaper.

Also a majority of Americans do not think children are something you can "afford" and choose how many you have according to this. I see this on MN all the time but it is not how most of my family/friends think (US/Caribbean)

Looking at the wages it's a lot higher for the same job I do here. I can get at least 120k usd which is nearly 100k, I'm a specialist nurse. 😳. If your DH was earning similar money it's easy to see why they can afford things.

I was watching a reality show in the US and the dad was in sales and the mum was a sahm...same as dh and me at the time. We were barely getting by but the family we were watching had a really amazing, luxurious lifestyle in comparison.

You expect the older of the 15 children to participate in the running of the home rather than demanding one mile lifts.

We are not a rich country in the UK.

www.forbes.com/sites/timworstall/2016/03/07/still-true-even-mississippi-is-richer-than-britain/amp/

wages are higher. We have a 3 bedroom, 2 bathroom house with an office, double garage, hobby shed, pool, hot tub, a few acres of land and we are oceanfront. Cost? $250k. Bought 3 years ago. My salary is $182k a year doing the same job I was paid £70k in the UK for. My taxes are less than 20%. In the UK I was in the 40% bracket and there was NI on top too. Sales tax (equivalent of VAT) is less than 10% in this state. It’s easier to be better off here.

I've heard similar from colleagues with international experience, they are usually shocked at how little professional work (with huge responsibility) pays here. Those with mainland Europe experience are then also similarly shocked at how little we see for taxes - I won't repeat the words of a particularly blunt Danish guy I worked with about how terrible the childcare provision and quality is here, we all know he's right.

The UK is not a high productivity, high wage economy any more. Hasn't been for a long time.

Yes, there's been a phrase bandied about UK is a poor country where some rich people live

Britain and the US are poor societies with some very rich people Ftimes

Britain is a poor country pretending to be rich

I watch a few large families, two in the US and one in Canada. None of the ones discussed here though. They each have 8-9 kids.
They are more homesteading/ cooking channels too through.
But the one thing all 3 have in common is none of them regularly feature their children. They are around and sometimes dip into the videos but they are not the focus at all.
All of them homeschool and that is largely not shown but is discussed. So mum will tell us about what she's doing with them etc but you don't often see the kids participating in it as they are not in the videos.
Sometimes the older kids are in it. A few weeks ago one of the elder sons of one family was doing a bread making session and wanted to share his passion. Or a younger child might be with a parent doing jobs outside and so they naturally become involved but they are not exploiting their children in the way some of them do.
So not all of them are bad!

2023willbemyyear asked “what have you learned about The UK from being on here, that you didn't know before, how different is your perception of life here from what it was before, and what are the things about The UK which you think are better or worse than The USA? Just super curious to know :)”. I didn’t want to quote the whole post, as it would take up the page! Mine tend to be too long. Well, husbands, families, cheeky fuckers, inflation woes, and jobs all seem to be things we have in common. The most surprising things, good and bad? Your food costs are so much lower. We have Aldi here, and yours costs less. But when I follow threads looking for meal ideas, I think our diets are far more varied. I don’t eat beef or pork, so no roasts, very little pasta and curry is an occasional thing to make at home. Our take out (“take away” there) tends to be pizza or Chinese. I don’t know if there is a place that I could order curry, or fish and chips, here. We eat a lot of fish, scallops, shrimp, chicken, etc. but not as much fried. We have a store here that sells British imports so I bought some of your bacon and I intend to use it for breakfast tomorrow, because I learned about it here and want to try it. Your homes seem to be attached to each other a lot, while most of ours aren’t. Familiarity with five different states here, and rarely see stairs. Most are just flat plain houses on a plot of land, with individual garages and driveways, so that seems surprising to me. We have very little open land left in this crowded corner of Florida, but everyone still owns a small bit of land. I was so surprised that in the UK it is common to let cats out to roam! Maybe because we have coyotes here, but nobody lets their cats out. Mine will step out on the patio and panic, looking to get back inside. Oh-and the thing about having a baby and being on a ward with other people is so strange to me! But I am as fascinated as you are with the differences in daily living! Here’s what an average, plain, typical house in my area looks like. www.redfin.com/FL/Seminole/9056-136th-St-33776/home/48072693

The Collins kids are the most alarming to me
the mum says she will continue to get pregnant until basically it kills her

I recall the Duggar’s had a really tragic thing happen and baby number 22/23 I think , died. She was called Jubilee if I recall. The baby before her was also a girl who was a 24 weeker premature baby and was very ill. She recovered well but then they got pregnant again shortly after and the baby was even more premature and died. Just so sad. Seemed unnecessary to me but they believe they only stop when god feels it’s right. I follow a few families on Instagram with over 6 kids and they are all religious so don’t believe in contraception I think that’s why it’s often an American thing as the religion part of it can be unique to their culture

Karissa Collins is highly concerning - her youngest almost died of sepsis caused by an untreated UTI recently and she still posts photos of her in soaking nappies with urine dripping everywhere 😡

@Wheredoallthepensgo

That's three quarters of the Internet gone then Grin the rest is just cat videos😆😆