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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To go out?

88 replies

dodgyknees12 · 22/12/2022 21:51

I had a baby 6 months ago.
I'm back at work and DP is currently a stay at home parent.
I'm due to go out with a friend tomorrow for a meal. The place my friend has booked is quite posh.

DP was going to be staying with the baby at home, and I was planning to go and meet friend.

DP has a cold.
I asked DP 'would you like me to cancel seeing friend?'

DP replied saying I hadn't asked a fair question saying 'I obviously wouldn't ask you to cancel when you've been working and haven't been out for a while'.

I have offered to take the baby with me to meet friend.
DP has said it might be too stressful for me as I'm going into a busy town (I do get stressed in busy places) but then also said to me
'but it isn't really fair for me to be here with the baby all day when I'm not well. It isn't fair on the baby when it's just me looking after DC'.

I don't know what to do?
What would you do? Cancel? Take baby?

OP posts:

roarfeckingroarr · 23/12/2022 13:23

Oh this is sad. Sorry you're missing out OP. He should've stepped up - it's a cold not flu.

roarfeckingroarr · 23/12/2022 13:25

I agree with @booklovingmum . I would be really pissed off if my partner ruined a lovely time I had planned for the sake of a cold. You could've looked after baby this morning then taken on bath and bed when you were home.

excelledyourself · 23/12/2022 13:27

Is your DP male or female?

Just wondering why you seem to have purposely left that detail out.

thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 13:34

Is he actually unwell, or is he going to bed to try and force you to look after the baby alone?

MissMaple82 · 23/12/2022 13:44

Oh you both need to get a grip. Women soldier on frequently through illness and child rearing. And do not take a baby to a posh restaurant. Poor friend, poor diners!

MissMaple82 · 23/12/2022 13:48

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 22/12/2022 21:59

He has a cold. Not Covid /Flu /Plague..
How would a single df manage?
Get thy self out alone op.
And feel no bloody guilt.

I agree 100%, however, I've had colds worse than covid. Just saying

MissMaple82 · 23/12/2022 13:49

Tiani4 · 23/12/2022 07:41

Oh no he has a man cold which means he can't look after his baby

Lone parent of 3 here. I looked after my DCs 24/7 with all sorts of minor and serious illnesses (including covid and broken bones!) Unless he's crawling around the floor unable to stand, is puking non stop down the toilet or is comatose, he's being ridiculous.

If he's well enough for his mates to pop round to socialise, he's well enough to take care of his own baby.
Check on him though by text when you're out and don't make it a long one as he sounds a flake

Check on him? What for? So he can make her feel guilty and come home early! Fuvk that, he'll cope, it's his child!

baffledcoconut · 23/12/2022 13:53

Is he actually pretty unwell? He’s cancelled his friends and family too.

SouthwarkSwish · 23/12/2022 13:54

I'm just waiting for the post from
OP's friend

thelobsterquadrille · 23/12/2022 14:00

baffledcoconut · 23/12/2022 13:53

Is he actually pretty unwell? He’s cancelled his friends and family too.

Or he's backed himself into a corner and is now sulking.

Hopeyoursproutsarealreadyon · 23/12/2022 14:05

Ime this is the best outcome.. He can sulk all day whilst you enjoy the peace and quiet.
Suggesting twisty faced exh take himself off to his Deathbed always worked. Until I found the strength to throw him out.

Still await the Miraculous Revov..
There is time yet.

gamerchick · 23/12/2022 14:24

excelledyourself · 23/12/2022 13:27

Is your DP male or female?

Just wondering why you seem to have purposely left that detail out.

Just to be irritating I think. Although there is a 'lads day' in one of the posts so who knows.

TeaMeBasil · 23/12/2022 16:01

You sound a bit like you are defending him now Op, you are setting yourself up for a hard road ahead if you allow behaviour like this.

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