Page 6 | Borrowed money off in-laws and now they won’t let us pay them back?

Overthis22 · 2022-12-22T21:23:36+00:00

My car reached the end of its life earlier this year and we didn’t have the funds to get a replacement. Cost of living and all that. I really need a car as there isn’t any public transport where we live (rural). We looked at getting finance but it worked out so expensive in the long run so my husband’s parents loaned us the 5k to purchase the car directly. This was very kind of them and we really appreciated it at the time. But my DH had since tried to repay them the money and they keep saying things like ‘no hurry’ and ‘don’t worry’. My DH received his end of year bonus this month and tried to explain that if we don’t pay them back now we may not have the funds again until this time next year, and they said ‘we can wait until next year’. I’m confused. If they didn’t want it back they wouldn’t say about waiting until next year so why not just let us pay it now. I’m not close to them so I don’t feel comfortable speaking to them about it. Not sure what to do now other than offer again next year but I don’t like feeling like we’re in debt.

SpottyBalloons · 23/12/2022 00:18

Overthis22 · 22/12/2022 21:46

I don’t even think I have a cheque book. I’m worried if I don’t pay it now, it will get spent. Everything is going up, etc..

Are you not able to exercise some self control and just not spend it?

Aprilx · 23/12/2022 00:26

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 22:06

Why don't you ring up hmrc and find out if you don't believe me. They really don't like it when people breach gift limits and don't tell them about it.

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@HotChoxs

Stop giving tax advice when you have no idea what you are talking about. There is no such thing as gift tax in the UK. Should the in-laws die within seven years, then there is a vague possibility that this will be pertinent information at that time. But whilst they are alive and well, there is nothing that needs to be done here.

di2004 · 23/12/2022 00:31

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Obviouspretzel · 23/12/2022 00:46

di2004 · 23/12/2022 00:31

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Well, equally, why could you have not said "xx has decided to buy your prom dress for you, such a kind gesture, make sure you thank her"

NoSquirrels · 23/12/2022 00:52

di2004 · 23/12/2022 00:31

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Why did this horrify you? I don’t get it.

It was a very kind gesture.

Boomboom22 · 23/12/2022 00:52

If it's a gift they should say so. Put in an account and don't touch it for now.
As for the pp, did you say to mil you wanted your dd to think you bought it? I don't get it, why didn't you say mil paid for it? That made your dd look rude! But she didn't know.

Wetblanket78 · 23/12/2022 01:08

If you can get they're banking details see if they will agree to you paying half now and half next year so your not struggling over the next 12 months. They probably won't want to accept it so with it being Christmas. So wait until the new year to do the transfer.

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/12/2022 01:26

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 22:06

Why don't you ring up hmrc and find out if you don't believe me. They really don't like it when people breach gift limits and don't tell them about it.

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What absolute rubbish. There’s absolutely no obligation on the recipient to declare gifts to HMRC, and no tax payable. It only becomes relevant if the gift is large, not out of regular income, the person giving it dies within 7 years of the gift and their estate is above the IHT threshold. And that becomes a tax issue for the estate, not the recipient.

It might also be a tax issue for the giver if an asset transferred has risen in value since purchase, as CGT might be payable. But again, that’s the givers problem, there’s no obligation for the recipient to declare it and its unlikely to be relevant for a £5k ‘gift’ to the OP anyway!

JaceLancs · 23/12/2022 01:43

Either put the money into a 12 month savings account or buy premium bonds
ask again in 12 months if they prevaricate then I would assume it’s a gift

WaddleAway · 23/12/2022 07:41

di2004 · 23/12/2022 00:31

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Why didn’t your DD already know who bought it for her? I would have told her where it came from so she could thank her for the kind gift.

Purplemagnolias · 23/12/2022 07:55

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Why did it make you mad? Shouldn't you'd DD know that her kind grandma paid for her prom dress? Shouldn't she write her a nice thank you card?

Purplemagnolias · 23/12/2022 07:58

After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing

So your dd shouldn't know that her grandma paid for her expenses prom dress?

NinjaWarriorCooker · 23/12/2022 09:37

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 21:54

just tell them the truth which is that you'll both be in trouble with hmrc if there's an undeclared gift.

Except that’s complete and utter bollocks!

NinjaWarriorCooker · 23/12/2022 09:42

Tryingtokeepgoing · 23/12/2022 01:26

What absolute rubbish. There’s absolutely no obligation on the recipient to declare gifts to HMRC, and no tax payable. It only becomes relevant if the gift is large, not out of regular income, the person giving it dies within 7 years of the gift and their estate is above the IHT threshold. And that becomes a tax issue for the estate, not the recipient.

It might also be a tax issue for the giver if an asset transferred has risen in value since purchase, as CGT might be payable. But again, that’s the givers problem, there’s no obligation for the recipient to declare it and its unlikely to be relevant for a £5k ‘gift’ to the OP anyway!

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Also £3k gifting allowance each year and allowed to carry back a year!

@HotChoxs you really are wrong

SerenaTee · 23/12/2022 09:50

Get a bankers draft and either give it to them next time you see them, or send it recorded delivery.

Hoppinggreen · 23/12/2022 09:53

HotChoxs · 22/12/2022 21:54

just tell them the truth which is that you'll both be in trouble with hmrc if there's an undeclared gift.

Eh?
no they won’t

donttellmehesalive · 23/12/2022 09:55

Buy £5000 of premium bonds. The money is safely locked away until they ask for it, and you might win something.

Beebumble2 · 23/12/2022 10:04

We have done this, as gifts. Some are now outside the 7 year rule ( which is a declining sliding scale). Some were this years gift £3000 and the allowed previous years gift, which was not given in that tax year. All correct, we have an accountant.
Although we don’t intend to die any time soon, I’d rather my DCs and DGCs benefitted for our money than 40% going in HT.
I expect the OPs In Laws feel the same.

NinjaWarriorCooker · 23/12/2022 10:27

Beebumble2 · 23/12/2022 10:04

We have done this, as gifts. Some are now outside the 7 year rule ( which is a declining sliding scale). Some were this years gift £3000 and the allowed previous years gift, which was not given in that tax year. All correct, we have an accountant.
Although we don’t intend to die any time soon, I’d rather my DCs and DGCs benefitted for our money than 40% going in HT.
I expect the OPs In Laws feel the same.

Exactly, why keep it, pay IHT and not be around to see them enjoy it!

Lilavanblue · 23/12/2022 12:23

NinjaWarriorCooker · 23/12/2022 10:27

Exactly, why keep it, pay IHT and not be around to see them enjoy it!

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That makes sense.
I also don’t get why after the OP has explained how they offered to pay the money back and her in-laws said there’s no rush some posters still say „pay them back NOW“ as if they were trying to avoid paying.
The suggestion to put the money into a savings account sounds sensible.

Blossomtoes · 23/12/2022 12:45

di2004 · 23/12/2022 00:31

Families and money, a nightmare!
I always remember my MIL bought ( she offered to buy) my DD’s prom dress, which at the time I thought was a very kind gesture.
After the prom I was horrified when she proceeded to tell my DD “ I bought you your dress you know” . I can still hear her saying it and it’s nearly ten years since .. made me so mad. Why couldn’t she have just said nothing!

Why didn’t you tell her instead of attempting to take credit for it?