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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To HATE phone calls

105 replies

PolarBlair · 22/12/2022 16:31

Family member just phoned me. I missed the call. I phoned back. They missed my call. They phoned back. I picked up. They couldn't hear me. Cue "can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Are you there?"
Me "yes. I can hear you. Yes I can hear you. Yes I can hear you".
They hung up. Tried again. They could hear me.
Told me they'd see me at X time tomorrow. That was all.

I find that so stressful. My blood pressure hasn't come down. I'm actually tense

That could have been a text. JUST SEND ME A TEXT. "See you tomorrow at 2"

Yabu: OP you are so grumpy
yanbu: indeed a text would have sufficed

OP posts:
FuckConvoGiveMeAForest · 22/12/2022 22:16

FUCKING HATE THEM!!!

Postgraddope · 22/12/2022 22:17

Coxspurplepippin · 22/12/2022 18:42

We're going to lose the ability to communicate with anyone other than by messaging at this rate Grin. I find messaging annoying when you're trying to plan things - ping pong back and forth when a quick phone call would sort it.

This …the less people communicate verbally the harder it gets .
I always call my friends so we can have a proper catch up .

WatchoRulo · 22/12/2022 22:20

Mojoj · 22/12/2022 18:57

God, the amount of people saying they hate talking on the telephone fills me with utter despair. Let's all just communicate via text and social media instead of, you know, actually engaging with another human being.

Again more intolerance of difference - and you are exaggerating - the phone is voice only - people who don't like it aren't eschewing all human interaction.

WatchoRulo · 22/12/2022 22:25

Postgraddope · 22/12/2022 22:17

This …the less people communicate verbally the harder it gets .
I always call my friends so we can have a proper catch up .

Show quote history

But verbal communication by phone is always lacking the visual cues of a genuine interaction - and end to speaking on the phone (which won't happen because there will always be those who prefer it) wouldn't mean an end to face-to-face communication.

Whytheego · 22/12/2022 22:25

PolarBlair · 22/12/2022 16:31

Family member just phoned me. I missed the call. I phoned back. They missed my call. They phoned back. I picked up. They couldn't hear me. Cue "can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Are you there?"
Me "yes. I can hear you. Yes I can hear you. Yes I can hear you".
They hung up. Tried again. They could hear me.
Told me they'd see me at X time tomorrow. That was all.

I find that so stressful. My blood pressure hasn't come down. I'm actually tense

That could have been a text. JUST SEND ME A TEXT. "See you tomorrow at 2"

Yabu: OP you are so grumpy
yanbu: indeed a text would have sufficed

I am exactly the same …… totally with you

Willowswood · 22/12/2022 22:25

I also hate phone calls and avoid them at all costs. People always interrupt and it's awkward.

pompomdaisy · 23/12/2022 04:24

My brother has an annoying habit of ringing when he could text. I just find it needy that someone feels the need to hear your voice over a phone when they are calling to tell you what time they are visiting anyway!

handbagsandholidays · 23/12/2022 05:28

YANBU I hate telephone calls... I'd much rather a text message or even audio note!

Ragwort · 23/12/2022 05:46

I like phone calls ... maybe it's my generation but I am used to making calls (on landlines not mobiles though) and I genuinely enjoy having a chat on the phone. As a PP said, it is often much easier to communicate directly than waiting for people to understand/read properly your email or text message. I was trying to sort out an HR issue at work and our messages were going backwards and forwards ... eventually I messaged her and asked if we could have a quick chat and her reply was that as she worked from home she didn't have access to a phone Hmm.
And whilst I appreciate that many older/less IT literate people can learn to text, my 90 year old DM wouldn't have a clue.

Mercurial123 · 23/12/2022 05:58

So many people on MN who hate the phone and answering the door, it's weird.

Ragwort · 23/12/2022 06:07

Mercurial I agree with you ... and also so many threads about people who don't have any friends ............ could it be connected?

ladywithnomanors · 23/12/2022 06:10

I hate speaking on the phone. I like to be able to see someone when i'm talking to them

Toomanysquishmallows · 23/12/2022 06:56

Not read the full thread , but I struggle with phone calls , especially out of the house , as my hearing is getting worse .

CeriB82 · 23/12/2022 07:40

Please explain the rudeness of calling someone.

years ago before the text messages, people called each other. Its communication. E.G. Your granny called your house to talk. We’re they being rude?

no wonder we have a growing population of miserable people. Heads in their phones, tapping away ignoring everyone around them, out in the street, texting away.

😡

rebekahnorris · 23/12/2022 07:52

Could have written this

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 08:14

Ragwort · 23/12/2022 06:07

Mercurial I agree with you ... and also so many threads about people who don't have any friends ............ could it be connected?

I don't hate answering it, I hate talking to someone when for me messaging is easier and less intrusive.

It's my friends on the phone...so I have them 😂 just rather chat to them in real life

Answering the phone to someone from the doctor's or the bank is a breeze because it's usually a quick call and over in a couple of minutes.

I don't see why you need a phone call to say 'see you Saturday at 10?' When a message will suffice.

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2022 08:23

CeriB82 · 23/12/2022 07:40

Please explain the rudeness of calling someone.

years ago before the text messages, people called each other. Its communication. E.G. Your granny called your house to talk. We’re they being rude?

no wonder we have a growing population of miserable people. Heads in their phones, tapping away ignoring everyone around them, out in the street, texting away.

😡

The rudeness is when it is something that can easily be said in a text without dealing with the issues described above where differing signals can make it difficult to hear or connect.

Many people also don’t have landlines anymore because people are usually easier to reach by mobile.

You are also ignoring the fact that before mobiles became widely held there was caller id so people had the choice to ignore calls on their landlines if they chose to. People have done a lot of things out of politeness and/or obligation and tech has come in and made it easier to pick and choose when they want to talk/deal with people, hence
caller id became the norm.

People are more comfortable with setting boundaries when it comes to their time and that includes communication.

Delatron · 23/12/2022 09:06

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2022 08:23

The rudeness is when it is something that can easily be said in a text without dealing with the issues described above where differing signals can make it difficult to hear or connect.

Many people also don’t have landlines anymore because people are usually easier to reach by mobile.

You are also ignoring the fact that before mobiles became widely held there was caller id so people had the choice to ignore calls on their landlines if they chose to. People have done a lot of things out of politeness and/or obligation and tech has come in and made it easier to pick and choose when they want to talk/deal with people, hence
caller id became the norm.

People are more comfortable with setting boundaries when it comes to their time and that includes communication.

Show quote history

This is true. With mobiles it is expected we are always ‘contactable’ I don’t want to be always contactable. If you send a message I’ll get back (reasonably promptly) at a time that suits.

A phone call on a mobile feels very intrusive. I’m not just sitting around with spare time looking at my phone. I’m busy with my day.

Even my Mum messages to ask ‘when’s a good time to call?’.

Otherwise we play phone table tennis for days sometimes. I don’t have time for phone table tennis.

I have loads of friends that I see and chat to in person. And some very funny WhatsApp groups to communicate in between meet ups. I don’t want to spend 30 mins chatting on the phone.

Delatron · 23/12/2022 09:09

Playing devil’s advocate but maybe it’s those that don’t have many friends that like a phone call. As they’re desperate for communication/company and have more time..

CeriB82 · 23/12/2022 18:11

phoenixrosehere · 23/12/2022 08:23

The rudeness is when it is something that can easily be said in a text without dealing with the issues described above where differing signals can make it difficult to hear or connect.

Many people also don’t have landlines anymore because people are usually easier to reach by mobile.

You are also ignoring the fact that before mobiles became widely held there was caller id so people had the choice to ignore calls on their landlines if they chose to. People have done a lot of things out of politeness and/or obligation and tech has come in and made it easier to pick and choose when they want to talk/deal with people, hence
caller id became the norm.

People are more comfortable with setting boundaries when it comes to their time and that includes communication.

Show quote history

Im talking well before the day of caller ID.

DashboardConfessional · 23/12/2022 19:47

I can't take a long call for a chat without organising childcare. DS is just 4 and will only sit for limited periods to amuse himself. Any time one of us is doing something with him, and the other has a bit of free time, we're unloading the dishwasher, putting a wash on, or taking a breather to reply to texts/make a coffee/go and get milk. I haven't sat around twiddling my thumbs for years.

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 19:51

Playing devil’s advocate but maybe it’s those that don’t have many friends that like a phone call. As they’re desperate for communication/company and have more time

I agree with this. I talk all day long at work, I talk to my friends, I talk to my family, after almost 12 hours of talking to people on a daily basis the last thing on earth I want to do is talk on the fcking phone. Just TEXT me.

Invisimamma · 23/12/2022 21:02

Delatron · 23/12/2022 09:09

Playing devil’s advocate but maybe it’s those that don’t have many friends that like a phone call. As they’re desperate for communication/company and have more time..

Nah, I don't really have much day to day contact with friends. Actually don't have many close friends. I hate, hate phonecalls. I'm a real introvert and would do what I need to avoid making or taking a phone call.

girlfriend44 · 23/12/2022 22:27

Westernesse · 22/12/2022 17:39

One of the rudest things you can do these days is to phone someone out of the blue. I absolutely hate it and have my phone on silent at all times so I can screen all calls then message the person back.

No it's nice to phone someone, they can always phone back if they are busy.

NippyWoowoo · 23/12/2022 22:55

LolaMoon · 23/12/2022 19:51

Playing devil’s advocate but maybe it’s those that don’t have many friends that like a phone call. As they’re desperate for communication/company and have more time

I agree with this. I talk all day long at work, I talk to my friends, I talk to my family, after almost 12 hours of talking to people on a daily basis the last thing on earth I want to do is talk on the fcking phone. Just TEXT me.

💯