To HATE phone calls

[PolarBlair]

Family member just phoned me. I missed the call. I phoned back. They missed my call. They phoned back. I picked up. They couldn't hear me. Cue "can you hear me? Hello? Hello? Are you there?"
Me "yes. I can hear you. Yes I can hear you. Yes I can hear you".
They hung up. Tried again. They could hear me.
Told me they'd see me at X time tomorrow. That was all.

I find that so stressful. My blood pressure hasn't come down. I'm actually tense

That could have been a text. JUST SEND ME A TEXT. "See you tomorrow at 2"

Yabu: OP you are so grumpy
yanbu: indeed a text would have sufficed

Just text and say sorry reception is really bad, please text me! No meed to answer your phone ever. Honestly. It's fine.

My 90 year old Aunt can text. It's not difficult!

There's only one thing worse than the phone call - the video call. My MIL insists on them and she always manages to call at the most inappropriate moments: during mealtimes, on our way out, putting DCs to bed etc. then gets huffy when we don't answer. She doesn't use them to just see the children either 😩

I can COPE with it. I just HATE it.

I’m another phone call dodger. I feel so trapped if someone phones. Mine stems from certain relatives keeping me on the phone literally hours (2 hours was a common occurrence) and not letting me go and I was far too much of a people pleaser back then to put the phone down when they carried on talking after I told them I needed to go. Unless it’s someone like a doctor or school now I don’t answer and just text them back. Far less stressful.

Yes please! Also, messaging is a form of engaging 😇

I message mostly with people I see in real life, I'm not missing out by messaging them in between

I spend all day on the phone calling customers, who are usually angry and demanding which is a hazard of the job, so I really dont want to talk to people in my spare time 😄

Mum will speak on the phone, that's fine. Dad, calls me but has nothing to say so it's such hard work I tend to avoid his calls. Inlaws, I wont talk to as I cant understand their really strong Scottish accents 😆

How is it rude? If you can't pick up you just don't!

😂

I feel like I'm the only woman in mumsnetland who doesn't mind chatting on the phone, whether it's an expected call or not. 😂

It’s the assumption that this other person is just available to drop what they are doing to answer the phone and meet your needs. It’s very odd behaviour IMO and belongs in the past.

Me too. But it could be worse. It could be fucking facetime.

One of the rudest things you can do these days is to phone someone out of the blue. I absolutely hate it and have my phone on silent at all times so I can screen all calls then message the person back.

This has to be up there with the most ridiculous post this month.

"Rudest" ????
What sort of bubble do you exist in that this is the rudest thing you witness ???

But you don't have to! You can just not pick up. Or pick up and say, "I'm busy right now, I'll give you a ring later/tomorrow/at the weekend." If I call someone, I don't assume they'll be available to talk!

OP, YABVU to make out this was really stressful.
Yes, with hindsight and the fact you struggled to connect means that particular message might have been easier with a text, but I would assume the person wanted to actually check what time suited you, in which case a quick call is usually much easier.
As it happens, on this occasion text could have worked, but to move from that one occasion where a text could have worked, to "hating" phone calls and finding it stressful to speak to a friend, is just weird.

Yes, and then you see a missed call and it is then on you to reciprocate even though you still don’t know what the call is about. They could just have sent a fucking message.

Hmmm
Yes. But the only people I call socially are family members and this struggle to connect happens easily 80% of the time. When I actually don't want to chat anyway. As in, I usually haven't any news, nor have they
I do not speak to my friends by phone, Ed use voice notes which I like though I see from PP others dislike 😂
Phone calls to service providers are a necessary drudge that I avoid when possible though I will call when I have laundry to do so I'm multi tasking.

So I suppose it's the build up of phone calls I don't want to make but feel obligated to make, combined with a difficulty in connecting most of the time that tipped me over the edge today.

And in terms of checking a time, a message could still have worked "is 2 tomorrow ok for you? "

Yes that would irritate me too but I hate any phone call conversations 😂

OMG I get so irrational with things like this at work - external IT will spend days trying to call me/me being in meeting/I call back/them on a call/repeat over and over just to tell me something is done. This can take days when if they had emailed at the start I could be days ahead of the issue. Drives me bonkers!!!

I agree & especially the ones where i’m thinking ‘you could’ve text me this’

my Ex was a nightmare, ringing multiple times per day on his way home from work because he was bored with questions that were for text/WhatsApp until I answered it one day & said “why are you ringing again” I was so frustrated! So I’ve told him that unless it’s good, bad or juicy news, to please text instead!

😫 multiple times a day - no wonder he's an ex!!!

Yes, I received a call one day and in a panic said out loud (before answering) "why is X ringing? I only talked to them three days ago?"

It genuinely produces anxiety in me

I don't mind making them - I ring banks all day long for work. I don't answer uknown numbers unless I'm expecting a call as it's inevitably a) a scam call or b) someone like the dentist who leaves a voicemail.

Even when calling my mum - we text each other first.

Why is it utterly strange?! Some people find it very stressful - it is not strange

WatchoRulo - well said!!

If this is the worst thing in your life, it's fine