3 days until the big man is here - worst gifts?!

[MerryChristmasEveryoneee]

I thought I would start a 2022 thread about this as I was going through my "unwanted" present drawer.. that sounds mean but any gifts I recieve, go into that drawers and I regift them to others (within reason) but I had forgotten how funny some of this stuff is!!

1. camouflage condoms (from MIL to DH.. these will NOT be regifted, not sure why they arent in the bin...)
2. A yellow scarf with golden giraffee on it (gifted to me from someone in DH family.. I mentioned I liked giraffees one year)
3. A bottle opener - it is a naked man and the bottle open is where his.. aherm.. would be (a gift from my friend to me, she said she saw it and thought of me... erm okay)
4. an old a4 cat / kitties calendar (this should really be in the bin now too.. not sure why I ever recieved it, I dont like cats).
5. a set of candles... nice gift you say? well they are lemon sherbet, coca cola, vimto scented - I'm not a teenager, fs
6. my FAVOURITE - a tshirt, quite a big one at that - that is bright pink with a huge campervan on it that says "dont worry, be happy" - oh yes, I wrongly said I liked campervans at one point
7. Last but not least a PJ set with "papa elf" on it in a mens size XXXL - from mil to me... she apparently didnt know what size I was?! erm, I am a 10, a womens size 10 at that...
8. a bottle of echo falls that my friend always buys me.. I think echo falls is sh*t, so I will regift to someone this year

So.. what rubbish / tat have you ever recieved

GO!!

Ps, I am not ungrateful but spend weeks, hours, forever searching for the perfect gift for someone so sometimes I am a bit miffed or taken back by some rubbish I have received. I think the Echo falls is a joke now... I have told that friend, in passing convo, that I dislike wines like Echo falls...

x

Bath bubbles. I never take a bloody bath. I'm waiting for a knee reacement and csnt get in or out of it. Everyone knows this but still gifts it. What's wrong with shower gel?⁰

My DDad is a very firm technophobe and has no idea how it works. One Christmas, my DBro got an ipod (all the rage at the time) but, don't worry, I got three (yes, three) ipod cases. Thanks Dad.

@Cherrysoup I would love to know where you work that children gift you champagne and chocolate 😲

17 years ago. A multipack of briefs, size small, from an in-law who I barely knew then and have seen about twice since.

Aside from the "erm, okaaaaaay" aspect of someone you don't know buying underpants for you, there were 2 problems: I wear more far more capacious and modest pants than briefs, and perhaps more crucially I last took a size small when I was about 12 😬

Nice-ish comprehensive. One of my form’s grandfather is a Lord. They gave me Joules gloves one year. I appreciate the lovely gifts, but I LOVE the notes in the cards most, some amazing comments about how their child enjoys the lessons and is really learning.

@Cherrysoup I am most envious! I work at a rough ish comp and I'm lucky if I get a greeting when I meet the students at the door.

Been there, done that, won’t ever work in a rough school again, I did years and years trying to improve the curriculum etc (Camden was interesting!) and I’m now 4 years off retirement. Kids say thanks as they leave the room. It started off really small and has grown, over 1000 applications for 180 places this year.

DH is a pretty terrible gift giver - I just give him very precise ideas now.

Years ago before marriage when I was youngish, slimish and had a much nicer body, he gave me some awful old granny PJs (I had said I wanted PJs but imagined some tasteful silk number).

After expressing my surprise at how they were nice but perhaps a little frumpy, the next year I got a bright pink, see through nylon babydoll nighty and matching pants.

Which I opened in front of my parents .

As I say, I just send him links now. Saves us all time and effort.

My first Christmas with MIL (DH and I met in january so I'd known her a while), she bought me a handbag so vile I was too shocked to even thank her. It was green and brown swirls on canvas with brown leatherish handles and gold hardware. Sort of 2000s style. It was bad, and so not me. She's much better now.

My first birthday after having DD1 I received nappies, wipes, clothes etc for her from my mum. She's not short on money and neither were we, I think she realised she'd made a mistake when I took them off her (unwrapped) and told her "Thanks mum, let me give you some money for them"

Too many to be funny any more: clothes that don't fit... A CD case with no disc in it... a plastic solar-powered dancing daisy... a very cheap electric toothbrush... socks with elastic round the top (I only wear diabetic socks)... smelly stuff that I don't like the smell of (fruity candles especially)... ugly ornaments... I have suggested to my friends that we just do charity donations but that didn't go down well so I just say thank you and shut up.

I am very glad on reading this thread that we are a list family that do Secret Santa for the grown ups. There's at least a passing chance I'm going to get at least one thing I really want! (aside from last year when my SS forgot about my gift. PS - dad I know it was you!).

The worst gifts I used to get were from my grandmother. She would do one of two things - regift the gift my own mother had just given her to one of her grandchildren (normally male - and quite often my brother - so not me), or she would go and hunt down some crap from her room and press it into my hand like it was a precious gem. Notable gifts - an ancient and half-used nail polish, or the book bought from the book stand in Chapel Market that was so ancient it was marked in pre-decimal amounts.

When we've done SS at work I always request an Amazon voucher. Otherwise people will buy me stuff like a gift set of nail polish because I like doing my nails - except I don't, I get my nails done.

When I was about 8 or 9, my Christmas present from an aunt and uncle was some packets of stamps. Just the stamps, no album or mounts or beginner's guide to philately or anything like that. I had never had any interest in stamp collecting.

I'm now in possession of my uncle's own large stamp collection from when he was a child in the 1940s. I still have no interest in stamp collecting. I approached dealers about having it valued and and was told sniffily that they wouldn't even look at a "schoolboy collection" unless I paid them. And I won't be able to throw the damn thing out while my mother, his sister, is still alive because "sentimental value".

Oh, I forgot the best one (from my SIL)... she knows I like cooking so one year she gave me a plastic revolving spice rack, complete with out-of-date spices. and an accompanying recipe book of the "take one tin of Campbell's soup and pour it over something" ilk.

I used to like owls, not obsessive but bought an owl bag that I liked and had a couple of things in the house. It became…a problem. Owl blankets, owl onesies, owl cushions, tree decorations. A clock! Necklace. A fridge magnet. Probably loads of other stuff but I no longer have most of it now 😅

MIL once bought my DP (her son) boxers one year.
One pair has snakes all over and writing saying "pet my python"z
The other paid were Christmas themed and said "hoe hoe hoe- ride my sleigh" across arse

Ex-mil got me some cubic zirconia ear-rings - she insisted they were real diamonds. I don't have pierced ears ...
Another year she got me a voucher for afternoon tea ... however it was one of her Groupon specials and was in a town over 250 miles from where we live (and a town we've never been to / have no connection with / not a touristy place etc). She couldn't understand why the cost of getting there, as well as the time involved, made it not worth my while going.

My mother is a narcissist and the main present buyer
im the eldest of 4,the only girl and the scapegoat
my brothers would get not only what they asked for,but lovely well thought of gifts

i got
a cheap,knock off and fake Katie price perfume
candles shaped like snowballs
a foul pink blanket with sleeves
eye gel-when I opened it,it was so old the product had disappeared
a skirt that looked like something granny wouldn’t wear on the grounds it was ‘too granny-ish’ in a size 24-I was a size 14
nipple tassels and crotchless knickers in a size 6/8
a granny dressing gown and slippers that where so badly made,they’d fallen apart by Boxing Day
tween style bath bombs-knowing we didn’t have a bath
plastic earrings
a blow up boyfriend that had a puncture
Cheap chocolates that where so foul,even the kids wouldn’t eat them
A rusty fork set-no knives or spoons
a box of out of date tea bags
out of date chocolate coins (so old that when I opened them for the kids,they had turned to dust)
a ‘charlottes web’ vhs tape-we hadn’t had a vhs player for about 5/6 years at this point-and I was pushing 30 so had no interest in cartoons
a used (complete with moth holes and musty smell) bath towel

all the above where bought from car boots or charity shops-I buy second hand 99% of the time and have no issues with that
it was the knowing I wasn’t worth a well thought through present-it was ‘that’ll do’ during a supermarket sweep of car boots and charity shops,when it came to me-but my brothers had presents bought knowing they’d love it

since I went nc,I’ve never had another bad present

Many years ago when in my 20’s, I had to open (in front of the whole of DH’s family) a pack of 5 knickers that his grandma had bought me. They were cheap ones off the market, made from that fake satin in pastel colours with lace trim down the front and in size 14 (I was size 8 back then)

im gonna see if I can find a pic of what they looked like as I really don’t think people can fully appreciate the horror unless you see them … watch this space

Bless him my boyfriend one year got me a teddy nightwear thing in size 18 as he though it went by ages. I was a size ten at the time. Don't know where he thought the middle aged and pensioners shopped 😆

A coat that was 2 times 2 big (was a bit upset but said nothing) she was trying to get me to try it on in front of everyone and I declined (put it on upstairs and I looked like a sack of shit) told her I had hung it straight up as it was long....

Typically it actually came in handy a year later when I was 6 months pregnant, then again 2 years later 😆

Last year my DH got me a metal cargo ship about an inch high by four inches long

My secret Santa gift this years was 2 pairs of child’s socks size age 5-7.

I mean my children are 1 & 3 so couldn’t even have been for them.

I swear to god these are the exact ones!!! The memories are literally flooding back

Wait.

Camouflage condoms from your MIL??

What does she not want you to see?*

*we all know what she doesn't want you to see

Zara Tindall is that you?