3 days until the big man is here - worst gifts?!

[MerryChristmasEveryoneee]

I thought I would start a 2022 thread about this as I was going through my "unwanted" present drawer.. that sounds mean but any gifts I recieve, go into that drawers and I regift them to others (within reason) but I had forgotten how funny some of this stuff is!!

1. camouflage condoms (from MIL to DH.. these will NOT be regifted, not sure why they arent in the bin...)
2. A yellow scarf with golden giraffee on it (gifted to me from someone in DH family.. I mentioned I liked giraffees one year)
3. A bottle opener - it is a naked man and the bottle open is where his.. aherm.. would be (a gift from my friend to me, she said she saw it and thought of me... erm okay)
4. an old a4 cat / kitties calendar (this should really be in the bin now too.. not sure why I ever recieved it, I dont like cats).
5. a set of candles... nice gift you say? well they are lemon sherbet, coca cola, vimto scented - I'm not a teenager, fs
6. my FAVOURITE - a tshirt, quite a big one at that - that is bright pink with a huge campervan on it that says "dont worry, be happy" - oh yes, I wrongly said I liked campervans at one point
7. Last but not least a PJ set with "papa elf" on it in a mens size XXXL - from mil to me... she apparently didnt know what size I was?! erm, I am a 10, a womens size 10 at that...
8. a bottle of echo falls that my friend always buys me.. I think echo falls is sh*t, so I will regift to someone this year

So.. what rubbish / tat have you ever recieved

GO!!

Ps, I am not ungrateful but spend weeks, hours, forever searching for the perfect gift for someone so sometimes I am a bit miffed or taken back by some rubbish I have received. I think the Echo falls is a joke now... I have told that friend, in passing convo, that I dislike wines like Echo falls...

x

My mother is amazing at shit gifts. She subscribes to the 'it's nice to have big piles of gift to have lots to open' school of thought and tends to go for quantity over quality and prefers lots of cheap gifts to what you might actually want.

Memorable ones from her have been:
Plastic screw top tub of cotton wool balls when I was 14. When I asked why, she said so I could remove my make up. I didn't have any and never wore it.

Foldable shopping bag with a zip that broke on the first use.

One year she got DH a pair of massive wired headphones. They were in a Hugo Boss box and were clearly the free gift someone had donated to a charity shop. That she then picked up for DH. She thought he'd like to sit by our CD player and listen to music at home, like my dad used to do in the early 80s with the record player. This was circa 2003.

My birthday is the end of the summer holidays. I used to get all my new school things wrapped up (pencil case etc). My brother would just get handed his because he needed them too, but it wasn't his birthday.

A "cooking for beginners" type cookbook
A book about hair and make up
A pair of open toe slippers
A bath bomb

All from my now (thankfully), ExMiL when I was married to her son. The slippers and bath bomb were particularly bad as 1) she knew very well how self conscious I was about my toe deformities and 2) she knew we didn't have a bath in the place only a shower because we were renting the bloody house from her.

This thread has really made me laugh today, especially the MIL gifting open toe slippers to the deformed toe poster. Sorry, that’s my dark sense of humour showing - it’s just such an evil gift.

Anything from my parents. Who don't understand "please don't get us anything, we have everything we could want already".

None Only some of the gifts per se are awful, they are just not right for us. I swear my parents go shopping and buy the first item they see that costs about the budget they'd intended to spend.

Notable highlights

• a turkey platter that is too big to fit on our dining table, and we never have turkey
• a pink coat. I own nothing that is pink. And it is 2 sizes too big
• cut glass bowl which we didn't dare put out due to small children
• the same cut glass bowl the following year
• a vase (the year after I'd had a major sort out and culled our vase collection down from 16 to 4)

Second hand Katie Price & Peter Andre cd. It didn’t even play. It was half bought in jest but was also my only Christmas from the other half at the time and it just made me feel quite sad (we lived together so wasn’t a funny early stages of dating gift!)

A fake knock off lady million perfume from MIL to me.

She was surprised to find it was a fake…considering she bought it off someone in the local pub .

She also bought dh a knock off bench jacket from the same bloke.

Both ended up on the bin. The perfume smelled like soap water and gave me a rash. I don’t like that type of perfume anyway, but I put it on to please her. Dh’s jacket ripped the first time he wore it

A tow rope ... I hadn't passed my test and didn't have a car!

Feel free to laugh. We did.

Wine from family members...who know I don't drink.
A cheese grater and a set of cutlery from a bf one year....I'd had my own place for 10+years at this point, so had a cheese grater and cutlery already, which he knew, because he used it weekly....for the previous 4 years!!!! Now an ex (not because of the gifts!)
The pink lynx set in the white bag.... I never use it as it burns my skin but someone, and not necessarily the same person, gets me this every year!

We got a cat last year and last Christmas got lots of dreadful cat gifts from my parents. They aren’t great with gifts anyway but these were particularly terrible. They weren’t cute or quirky but instead had poorly copied photos of cats on the various items we were given. Even my kids looked shocked at the level of tat given and how much stuff had the same awful picture of a cat on it. I ended up taking it to a charity shop and apologised for how awful it was!

Anyway, I had a look at the shop it all came from and it turns out there’s more, so I fully expect to be getting those items for Christmas this year!

I also suspect MIL has bought us some cat themed items too, but to be honest, they’ll likely be a bit more tasteful so won’t be headed for the charity shop just yet! 🤣

This was a birthday but a t shirt with Micky and Minnie Mouse on I looked at it and thought I wouldn’t be seen dead in that I wear Star Wars Dr Who and Stranger things t shirts ffs🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️This was off ex mil I have plain t shirts as well for church etc.

I’d love that jacket yes I love bright colours.

3 wire coat hangers and an ancient pack of disintegrating American Tan tights. From a great aunt when I was 12.

A Fat Slags video (from the Viz comics of the 90’s for those too young to know) from my DH. There is a back story to this but it would be quite outing, suffice to say I wasn’t impressed. I didn’t get a card either.

Happy to report he vastly improved his gift giving after that particular xmas 😁

A stand up desk. My ”home office” is in the attic room. To use it I’d have had to stand in the very middle of the room 🤣

A book that I very much now appreciate (Its worth some money apparently)
Midnight Movies I think its called and it was sent by American friends so no sure if it was published here.
As I got older though, and had seen some of the said films and liked them, I dug that book out from a drawer as it interested me then.
For bad presents it has to be the Year I had mentioned, in passing, that I quite liked Chocolate Oranges . You guessed it.

😄😄

Brown briefs from DM

Oh some of these are so funny

Outing this is but Oh Well,
One Year my Aunt received a nice little set of Elephant ornaments for Christmas. Expressed her Thanks and how much she liked them
For YEARS after everyone got her Elephant Ornaments until the Year she was asked what she would like and replied "Anything Anything but F* Elephants"
😆😆

A 3ft wine glass - I don’t drink, even if I did not sure what I would do with a 3 foot glass!

A giant universal remote. Bigger than a A4 sheet.

A toy helicopter from oh. I did think there might be tickets to something inside but nope. Apparently he saw me looking at it in a shop and yes I was but only as a potential gift for my nephew. Urgh.

£3.38 and some lime green and pink knitted socks from my mother. She forgot to buy me presents one year. Apparently that £3.38 was to make up for it. Think I bought a cheese toastie. The knitted socks went in the bin as they cut off the blood supply to my feet as she’s a terrible knitter and did the stitches too tight. I enjoyed watching all my siblings opening up their new TVs, computer game systems and games (*sarcasm). And there’s me with 3 pound coins and some coppers. Yes I cried. She called me selfish for making a scene. Mind you this is the woman who served me greasy Bombay potatoes and burnt quorn fillets for Christmas a few years ago even though I’m not a vegetarian and don’t eat spice often because of a bowel disorder (and she tried to charge me £40 for it!). And she wonders why I don’t invite her to Christmas.

I see your Echo Falls and raise you Yellowtail! To me it tastes like vinegar.
I also got a used candle one year from my mums best friend, it looked like she had lit it for 5 mins before deciding she didn't like the smell. Oh dear.

My very rich aunt once gave me a used lipstick. !

I bought my Dad’s girlfriend a really nice candle and silver lid from the White Company. I got it gifted back to me the next year still in the same gift bag. She clearly forgot who gave it to her 😂

😆😆