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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Should I report my colleague for this?

272 replies

ZZTopp · 22/12/2022 13:55

My colleague had some kind of seizure about a month ago. She lost consciousness whilst out walking. She was upset and confused when she regained consciousness and was taken to A & E.

She spent a few days in hospital having tests, luckily everything appeared normal. She was told at the hospital she cannot drive for the foreseeable future.

She has been getting a lift to and from work, but I saw her one evening by coincidence driving from the shops.

I asked her the next day in work how she was finding not driving to see if she would admit driving but she just said it’s ‘quite difficult’. I then said I had seen her and she admitted she had driven to the shops. She then said she didn’t tell me because she feels judged. She said the doctors have found nothing wrong with her and she feels well. I said well I think the doctors know best and she replied with, ‘the doctors can only base their decisions and diagnosis on information and test results- my test results are normal and I know how I feel’.

should I report her to the DVLA / police / manager at work?

OP posts:
JuicyLipsDryEyes · 22/12/2022 17:46

How are you so knowledgeable about her 'some kind of a seizure' and what she's been told? Were you there when it happened and when the doctor's told her to stay off the road? This is very intimate medical info , how do you know all this?

NCNCNCYEP · 22/12/2022 17:46

Tigger7654 · 22/12/2022 17:24

You don't really know what's going on, she's just a work colleague so I wouldn't get involved. Don't bother telling work there's nothing they can do. She's a grown up, whatever she gets up to outside of work is her business not your bloody managers (unless she drives for work vut that's not the case here).

And if she happens to drive near you, or your loved ones and has a seizure at the wheel? Does it become your problem then when it’s too late and your child/wife/husband/parents havE died?

Welpthereitis · 22/12/2022 17:50

i have new onset seizures still having all the test to find out why I have been told not to drive for 2 years and even then I may not be able to drive, I have not been behind the wheel since as it so terrifying what might happen

SeasonFinale · 22/12/2022 17:51

My husband had a condition and was originally told not to drive for 3 months. After further tests they reduced this to 4 weeks. Are you sure she hasn't been told of a reduced time?

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 22/12/2022 17:59

If you were going to report her why didn't you just report her, what's with this weird interrogating her to get her to admit it? You seem to know the ins and outs of this woman's medical records and her movements, what was the point in talking to her? It's like you enjoy being a busy body. She'll know it's you anyway, well if you are the office busy body it probably wouldn't take her long to work out who it was.

She's in the wrong, just report and stick your beak out her business.

Hallelujah2020 · 22/12/2022 17:59

A friend of mine was killed just before Xmas by a driver who was specifically told not to drive by consultant and DVLA but he ignored them. He had a seizure and killed her while she was walking along pavement

Personally yes I’d report it because it really isn’t worth the risk

hellycat · 22/12/2022 18:00

Confused by this now. So the doctors have told her it's ok to drive, as tests showed nothing wrong with her? Or was she clearly instructed not to drive for a period of time?

It doesn't really matter if it was a faint, a seizure or a blackout, does it? A period of watchful waiting has been ordered. There are many non drivers out there, a short few months without a car won't kill anybody. I daresay her son is in receipt of DLA or PIP, which would help pay for any taxis to appts, days out etc which may arise in that time. Hardly what I'd define as hardship.

Canuck48 · 22/12/2022 18:15

As difficult as it must have been, you were right in reporting it. She was explicitly told not to drive. Does it suck, absolutely. Driving is seen as the ultimate freedom, being able to get oneself conveniently around with no fuss of calling taxis, Ubers or the like or dealing with transit.

She took advantage of driving when she knew she shouldn’t and got caught out by someone. Thankfully she didn’t have a medical incident or caught by police.

Hopefully she will think twice next time. It sucks but it would be so much worse if she causes a tragic accident if she has another medical incident.

dolor · 22/12/2022 18:16

Mind your own business!

Starwind74 · 22/12/2022 18:17

Someone said she may not have been advised not to drive at all. Well if that is the case and she is reported no action will be taken against her presumably. This doesn’t mean she shouldn’t be reported, ( to the DVLA ),
better To be safe than sorry. I can understand how difficult m not driving can be, but safety comes first.She should ask a medic when/ if she can drive again. I don’t think it. is. anything to do with work what happens outside. working hours however.

gettingolderandgrumpier · 22/12/2022 18:46

Hmm I’m torn if was a good 6 months or so I might think yabu as doctor may have said not drive for so long but it was only a month ago so I think yanbu . I’m not sure if I’d report though but I do think it’s a good idea if the doctor said don’t drive she shouldn’t.

Disabrie22 · 22/12/2022 19:05

A relative of mine was in an accident (animals on the road forced her to swerve into a ditch) and there was a colleague at work had it in for her. Her partner was in the police - they reported her as a dangerous driver and there began a series of horrible interrogations and tests. The police eventually had to apologise to her but not after creating considerable stress.

There are many difference kinds of seisures and some you can actually drive with as they are related to posture and blood pressure - so don’t occur sitting down.
Your colleague needs to have a thorough medical examination and be responsible. But just be aware things aren’t always black and white.

Chartreuse45 · 22/12/2022 19:12

I haven't read the whole thread but my sister had a seizure, she was told not to drive for a year. She took it very seriously, I think she even sold her car. It was nearly 20 years ago so I'm hazy on the details but I think the idea was to rule out her having epilepsy and a year without a seizure is considered long enough for that. She never did have another.

PurplePixies · 22/12/2022 19:18

My lovely friend had a seizure at the wheel earlier this year. Sadly he crashed his car into a building and died before the emergency services could get to him.

He had no previous history of seizures and he was in his 40’s.

It was pure luck that no-one else was hurt in the accident.

Your friend is very stupid for taking such a risk driving when she was probably feeling fine before she had her first seizure…

RambamThankyouMam · 22/12/2022 19:40

Damn right I would report her.

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 22/12/2022 19:41

For those saying she might not have been told not to drive -why is she now getting lifts in and out of work?

It doesn’t matter if it was a seizure or a blackout, both need you to stop driving if unexplained. (So not eating and discussing blood and then fainting is explained)

The rules are clear, and they are there for safety.

twelly · 22/12/2022 19:48

Without being in the room when it was discussed or without access to the relevant medical records you cannot know what exactly was said regarding driving. If she says she is ok and the dr said that the tests were normal and she is ok to drive then she is. I would not be quizzing people on their medical records or health in this way.

Sugarplumfairy65 · 22/12/2022 19:52

Schlaar · 22/12/2022 17:06

Yes. It’s up to their family to sort out. None of your business. Sticking your nose in other peoples business is how you get your windows put out.

Show quote history

Really? You must live in a very rough area. Poor you!

OhBeAFineGuyKissMe · 22/12/2022 20:10

twelly · 22/12/2022 19:48

Without being in the room when it was discussed or without access to the relevant medical records you cannot know what exactly was said regarding driving. If she says she is ok and the dr said that the tests were normal and she is ok to drive then she is. I would not be quizzing people on their medical records or health in this way.

But she has said she isn’t ok to drive! If she was she would have said so when the OP asked her how she was finding not being able to drive. Which, I think, was the point of the conversation, only when she said it was difficult did the OP question seeing her.

She knows it is wrong, but it doing it anyway.

alloalloallo · 22/12/2022 20:11

My daughter has FND with non-epileptic seizures/Dissociative seizures and it’s 3 months event free for driving.

These kinds of seizures don’t show up on EEGs so it would appear all tests are clear. DD has been diagnosed from video evidence.

She’s actually only just turned 17 so hasn’t applied for a provisional licence, plus she doesn’t go 3 hours without a seizure let alone 3 months. She’s entitled to a free bus pass as she’s not entitled to apply for a driving licence.

Are you sure it was actually a seizure?

DD is gutted she can’t drive, but sadly it is what it is and she accepts it. I’d report someone to DVLA if I knew they were driving, I’ve seen DD’s seizures and even with the minor absent seizures she completely blanks out, is not safe for her, or any others on the road.

July70 · 22/12/2022 20:14

OP
I've not read the whole thread. If you are so sure, will you be able to live with yourself if they crashed and injured etc someone, or more people?

UniversalAunt · 22/12/2022 20:18

@KatieKline I am sorry to read about the devastating crash that killed your brother and his wife. My condolences for your loss.

RudolphTheGreat · 22/12/2022 20:20

Losing consciousness doesn't automatically mean a seizure and having seen someone faint sometimes it can look similar to a seizure but isn't. Did they actually say she had one?

I don't understand why you would report her to your manager unless she drives as part of her job role.

Luredbyapomegranate · 22/12/2022 20:21

She should have been told how long she shouldn’t drive for eg 3 months. Then if no further symptoms she can drive again.

I’d try and reason with her first.

GreenLunchBox · 22/12/2022 20:22

ChuckMater · 22/12/2022 14:01

When would the doctors deem her safe to drive again?

You usually have to be a year seizure-free