Wine Switch - petty or IANBU?

[Swinewitch]

Two lovely women have cleaned my house for several years, they do a great job and we’re on friendly terms. Today I left out some extra money and a bottle of wine each, as a Christmas thank you. I came home a little earlier than expected, so they were still here. I noticed that the wine bottles were different! When I checked later, the original bottles I’d selected were back in the box so they had clearly switched the bottles - perhaps to a wine they preferred!

I was quite shocked and I think a little put out. It’s not the biggest deal in the world I know, but they do hold a trusted position and this seemed a little… untrustworthy. It was meant to be a nice thoughtful gesture which now feels a bit soured.

So…AIBU I’m thinking this wine switch was a little sneaky?

Ah right. Yeah that makes sense

So they didn’t want the present you had left each of them and then went around the house and chose a present they preferred? That’s theft. It’s irrelevant if the two bottles of wine are the same value or not. They took something that clearly wasn’t theirs.

I wouldn’t trust them after that. It’s rude and very disrespectful. I’d have to confirm it with them for my own peace of mind, so I’d text asking why they swapped the bottles and saying something like the ones they took were presents for Auntie and Uncle X. Once I was 100% sure they had swapped them, I’d tell them not to bother coming back. They must know it’s wrong. It’s the principle not the value of what they took.

They really should have asked first if it was ok to swap if they didn't like the one you had selected. I couldn't imagine even asking that to be honest as I'd just gratefully accept the gift. But just swapping them without speaking to you isn't on really.

It's so weird that they did it so openly though. Are you absolutely sure they didn't ask your DC if it was OK to swap, or something?

It’s a slap in the face, imo.

What’s their usual routine in the house? You’d just messaged to say you’d left them wine out. So they come in and head straight to the usual room with the cleaning equipment, where there’s a box of wine out. They each choose a bottle since you’ve more or less said to, and put it by the front door to pick up later. Do the clean, finishing in the kitchen to pick up the cash where you usually leave it and, whoops: wine is there too. Realising they’ve got too much wine, grab those bottles and return them to the box, as all bottles of white wine look mostly alike and the intended bottles aren’t gift-wrapped, put the cleaning stuff back. Yell up the stairs “bye” to you.

If you’re 100% sure they swapped the wines, text them and say you had those bottles in mind as a gift and ask them if they swapped them.

I think when you let someone into your home, it requires a degree of trust.
Especially if you have to leave them alone.

I suspect that is why you're so shaken by this.
I think "theft" is a very strong word, although frequently used on this thread.

But it's shaken your trust, and that is the issue

If deliberate, it’s theft, because they’ve taken something they weren’t given from the house. The fact they left something else they were given is irrelevant.
It’s so random though I would have to ask them to satisfy my curiosity.

Did you ever call them out on it OP?

Yes am also interested to hear the outcome