Wine Switch - petty or IANBU?

[Swinewitch]

Two lovely women have cleaned my house for several years, they do a great job and we’re on friendly terms. Today I left out some extra money and a bottle of wine each, as a Christmas thank you. I came home a little earlier than expected, so they were still here. I noticed that the wine bottles were different! When I checked later, the original bottles I’d selected were back in the box so they had clearly switched the bottles - perhaps to a wine they preferred!

I was quite shocked and I think a little put out. It’s not the biggest deal in the world I know, but they do hold a trusted position and this seemed a little… untrustworthy. It was meant to be a nice thoughtful gesture which now feels a bit soured.

So…AIBU I’m thinking this wine switch was a little sneaky?

So a mixed case? I couldn’t get worked up about it. Why not let them select a Chardonnay instead of a pinot?! They didn’t upgrade. A bit cheeky, but not exactly a switch up to your best Moët

Love this 😂

I think it's really rude but ultimately I'd rather them have the ones they'd prefer anyway.

Are you sure your partner (if you have one) hasn’t switched them, that would make more sense

I wanted to ask this too.

I think if they were still there I’d have said “oh did you not like the bottles of wine I left out”

So it was all out in the open straight away.

I would let it go - not worth souring your relationship with them
over it.

Are you 100% sure which ones you left out? I only ask as if it were me I may have dithered and changed my mind a couple of times. Pretty poor behaviour on their part if they did it. I’d like to think they planned to leave a cheeky note before they left.

YANBU and I would sack them.

This is one of the reasons people shouldn’t expect more than their pay for their job.

I am a cleaner. I would never have done this. I would be happy with any gift a client gave me. Though I wouldn’t expect one, it’s a lovely thought. You sound generous and I wouldn’t have abused your generosity.

However, as others have said, I would let it go and next time give something different.

Are you absolutely sure they switched?

If they've really taken bottles from elsewhere in your house and switched them for the ones you clearly left as gifts, that's really odd. Fine if they switched with each other, or did anything they wanted with the bottles they were given, but not OK to take yours. Personally I probably wouldn't care which bottles they got, but helping themselves to non-gift bottles without asking, even though leaving something of apparent equal value, would make me wonder if I could trust them.

I came here to say are you menopausal?! Im perimenopausal and I keep doing things I don’t mean to, or forgetting a stage in some process, etc. I forgot my handbag the other day and had to look back on the ring doorbell because I simply couldn’t remember leaving the house, had I locked the door etc? Just a thought…

I think this too.

I also feel like it is unlikely they switched. It sounds like you have a good long-standing relationship so it would be an offbeat thing to do.

One possibility is that one tidied away the bottles before one or both realised they were left out as a gift and then they took them out again but didn’t remember the exact bottles. Maybe I am being overly generous in my estimate of what happened but I’d give them the benefit of the doubt if you’re otherwise happy with them.

They thought you’d get away with it and not notice. Which makes me worry what else they might do if they thought you wouldn’t notice. But I also see that maybe they thought it wouldn’t matter. But they should have asked.

Yes, maybe one didn’t realise they were a gift and put them in the box and then the other said where’s our wine. So they got two bottles out thinking they’d got the right ones. That does sound plausible actually.

It does seem a really surprising thing to do.

I would let it go, if all the wine was of a similar value. If you left them a £4.99 bottle of Tesco plonk de plonk and they swapped it for an 1846 Château Lafite, that's a different matter.

One possibility is that one tidied away the bottles before one or both realised they were left out as a gift and then they took them out again but didn’t remember the exact bottles.

I thought this too - but OP hasn't been back to say whether she has a partner/housemate/child living with her who swapped them, which is even more likely.

Thats pretty out of order. Makes me wonder what else they may have 'swapped' over the years. I have my own cleaning business and am super grateful for anything I get given, and boy have I been given lots of Prosecco this year. I would never dream of swapping anything, it's rude and pretty disrespectful, even if they were all of the same value. How were they to know you hadn't earmarked the rest of the box?
Also, say you left them a tenner each, what would you do if they swapped it for a twenty? Same principle!

😂

If this is true what have you done or said to them about it?

Sorry for the random 🤣 - the app is playing up. That was to the person asking another poster if she was the cleaner!

to answer some questions:

No partner, just two teens who were still in bed at this point. Whilst they may possibly nick a bottle of wine, I am 100% sure that they wouldn’t have swapped them over. It just wouldn’t be on their radar.

This morning, I left £100 on kitchen counter (pay £70 usually). On top of the notes I put the 2 bottles. I’d also messaged one of the women with a few specifics about what needed to be done and the added that I was going out but had left money & wine out for them.

I had opened a new case of wine and selected the same bottles for them both (aware I didn’t want to differentiate between the two as I like them both). I put the bottles in the kitchen, briefly wondered if I should put them in gift bags but decided not to. I noted which wine is selected - I vividly remembered doing so, noted the label, grape, country, etc. I vividly remember doing this - menopausal or not!

I came home earlier than usual. They were still here, kids still in bed. As I walked through the front door, I noticed 2 bottles of wine there (moved from the kitchen), with some keys. That put me a bit off balance - I knew it wasn’t the wine I left out for them. A few things went through my mind - was that a gift from them for me? Had a neighbour dropped them round for me? It initially didn’t occur to me that they might have made a switch. So I didn’t bring it up then, as I was a bit wrong-footed by it.

I then had to go and do some work, but the confusion about it stayed with me. They called out to say goodbye and then I went to the kitchen, saw the original wine had gone, as had the bottles by the front door. Then I checked the box of wine to find the original bottles gone and two empty places where the other bottles had been. I am absolutely 100% sure on this. I know it to be true. I may be of menopausal age, but I know myself, I have good self-awareness and am quite willing/able to admit when I’ve got something wrong, but I know I’m right in this case.

I would’ve been more than happy to have suggested that they choose a bottle they’d like. But that didn’t happen, instead they chose to help themselves. And that has caused me to question what else they may cross the line with.

I would feel that was a bit of a slap in the face. As they're good cleaners i wouldn't dispense with their services but there would be no wine gift next Christmas.