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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking the buggy off of the bus for a wheelchair

288 replies

GoAgainstNicki · 21/12/2022 15:46

I know in other places in the UK, there are buses that have no back doors so there’s a space for a wheelchair user and then buggy users. It’s not like that in London so the one space that’s available is for wheelchair users. Buggies are allowed to use the space if not needed by a wheelchair uses but need to get out of the way if necessary.

There’s been quite a few times where there’s been myself and another buggy on the bus when a wheelchair has needed the space. Each time, the other parent refuses to get off of the bus (even when I’ve got on first), so I get off to make space for the wheelchair. I also don’t like embarrassment so I’m not going to argue with another parent when a wheelchair user needs the space.

Now I’m always happy to get off for a wheelchair especially as buses come super frequently. However my issue comes with drivers not giving me a ticket to say that I’ve already paid to allow me on another bus. Just a few days ago, I didn’t have much money on my oyster but enough for my journey. I needed to take two buses within the same hour which I could afford with the money on my oyster. A wheelchair wanted to come on so I started to get ready to get off, no problem. I asked the driver if he could print a ticket as I no longer had money on my oyster (the one hour was up) and he said no!

Luckily a bus driver let me get on without paying but AIBU here? Why can’t it be standard practice for drivers to give you a ticket stating you’ve already paid if you have to get off for a wheelchair user?

OP posts:
Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:23

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/12/2022 05:53

Most parents are able bodied. They can push a buggy. Wheelchair users use their wheelchair in place of legs. They cannot walk and many cannot drive. They can’t just take a taxi either. Unlike parents with buggies. Spending even a day in a wheelchair would remedy this sort of thinking pattern.

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I get what you're saying but you have no way of knowing if the baby has a disability too.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/12/2022 06:24

@Travelbud
Highly presumptuous? Okay… I don’t have wheelchair. Secondly, if a child needs to be in a pram / pushchair or has a medical condition, which means the pram should be treated as a wheelchair, both are disabled and get equal priority. Apart from that, first come, first served is cruel to the wheelchair user. Babies and children are in buggies and protected from the elements, unlike wheelchair users.

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:25

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/12/2022 06:24

@Travelbud
Highly presumptuous? Okay… I don’t have wheelchair. Secondly, if a child needs to be in a pram / pushchair or has a medical condition, which means the pram should be treated as a wheelchair, both are disabled and get equal priority. Apart from that, first come, first served is cruel to the wheelchair user. Babies and children are in buggies and protected from the elements, unlike wheelchair users.

Yes this seems a fair order of priority

Sirzy · 22/12/2022 06:26

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:23

I get what you're saying but you have no way of knowing if the baby has a disability too.

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You can get signs for prams to say that it needs to be treated as a wheelchair if the child is using it due to their disability.

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 06:27

Sirzy · 22/12/2022 06:26

You can get signs for prams to say that it needs to be treated as a wheelchair if the child is using it due to their disability.

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Handy to know thank you!

NamelessNancy · 22/12/2022 06:31

Of course the op shouldn't have to pay twice for her interrupted journey. As things stand it's absolutely right that wheelchair users should have priority. That said it's really sad to me that the lack of accessible places seems to pit those who need them against each other (on here at least). Sounds like one per bus is not really enough. I also find it a shame that so many have the attitude that if they struggled in the past it's only right that women should struggle in the future. It'd be nice to think things could be made easier for everyone really.

CJsGoldfish · 22/12/2022 06:31

Not the point of the thread but why don't people pick a more practical buggy?
You know, I often wonder the same. Those huge monstrosities that are such a pain for all around them (but, of course are trendy and look the goods 🙄)and I get tired of seeing them in places they really shouldn't be but, on this thread, it's neither here nor there. The OP is doing nothing wrong here and the focus seems to have drifted from the actual issue which is OF COURSE she should be provided a ticket. She's causing no fuss, simply vacating the bus like a considerate passenger and that should not be to her detriment 🤷‍♀️

sashh · 22/12/2022 06:42

Travelbud · 22/12/2022 04:24

Why should a baby be left in the rain? Lots of babies are born with medical conditions. Just because you may be in a wheelchair doesn't give you the right to demand and take priority because you are in a wheelchair. There's a que and it's as simple as that!!

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Actually it does.

The space is for a wheelchair user.

The DDS and then the Equality Act allow you to discriminate in favour of people with disabilities.

Having a baby is not a disability, you might find travelling with your baby more difficult but that is not for life.

TulipCat · 22/12/2022 06:53

HermioneWeasley · 21/12/2022 15:55

Why don’t you just fold up the buggy and hold the baby?

People trotting out this trite question is so tiresome. Not all pushchairs are umbrella fold, how can you not know this? If you have a young baby, you can't put them in a stroller, they are in a bassinet. The pushchair comes in two parts. Even if you collapse the base (reliant on the basket being empty of shopping etc in the first place), you still have the bassinet, which doesn't fold. How do people not get this?

Needmorelego · 22/12/2022 07:11

@TulipCat if it comes in two parts and has a bassinet then it's a pram not a buggy/stroller.
Prams are not suitable for public transport and if you are going to be using buses frequently then you need to have a foldable one. There are plenty on the market suitable from birth.

Pleasepleasepleaseno · 22/12/2022 07:28

"just don't think it's fair that someone with a baby in a pushchair should be made to leave a bus for someone in a wheelchair" WITHOUT BEING GIVEN THE ABILITY TO CONTINUE THEIR JOURNEY DUE TO COST.
Fixed it for you!
Of course you should be given a transfer ticket. Wheelchair users have priority which is fair enough but there is no way a parent with a buggy should be made to leave the bus and left potentially stranded. Ever. Jesus.

MusicstillonMTV · 22/12/2022 07:30

Needmorelego · 22/12/2022 07:11

@TulipCat if it comes in two parts and has a bassinet then it's a pram not a buggy/stroller.
Prams are not suitable for public transport and if you are going to be using buses frequently then you need to have a foldable one. There are plenty on the market suitable from birth.

Well it depends - if you would rather get off the bus for a wheelchair user than fold, it doesn't matter whether your pram can fold or not. It doesn't happen that often. The OP was fine with getting off, just not fine with paying twice.

I personally don't like the foldable prams - preferred to have mine higher up, felt more secure and better for sleeping. (Actually I mostly used slings but hey), I still successfully used buses several times.

Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 07:31

deplorabelle · 22/12/2022 05:15

If you remember it you were walking age! And you don't know about all the trips your mother decided NOT to make because they were too difficult.

OP I completely agree you shouldn't need to pay again if you get off the bus. Outside London where public transport is neither plentiful nor cheap this is an even bigger deal. I live on one of the better public transport routes in my county. To get off the bus and wait for the next one could still be a 20 minute wait and a return fare is £5.50 so no way would I be paying again.

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Again where you actually alive back then? My mother had to option but to use the bus. I can assure you there was no times my mother decided it was to difficult 🙄 in those days you just got on with it. My mum had 4 kids within 6 years, I was the middle one. I remember very well me in the buggy and my older brother walking and later on 3 of us walking and my younger sibling in the buggy. Buses where busier then due to less cars so much busier buses and we all stood on buses. Don't presume you can tell me about my own experiences.

gogohmm · 22/12/2022 07:35

@TulipCat

My kids used a foldable buggy from birth (i couldn't drive) didn't do them any harm, they are adults now. You don't need a bassinet, they are optional extras and not suitable for public transport

Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 07:36

TulipCat · 22/12/2022 06:53

People trotting out this trite question is so tiresome. Not all pushchairs are umbrella fold, how can you not know this? If you have a young baby, you can't put them in a stroller, they are in a bassinet. The pushchair comes in two parts. Even if you collapse the base (reliant on the basket being empty of shopping etc in the first place), you still have the bassinet, which doesn't fold. How do people not get this?

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Then you preplan and buy a buggy that does fold in one.

ohioriver · 22/12/2022 07:39

@TulipCat I had a lie flat one piece fold buggy that I used on the bus.

It wasn't my favourite - I had a proper pram with a carrycot that I preferred - but for the bus I used a lie flat one piece fold buggy for the bus.

Of course you can put a baby in them if they're suitable from birth.

Pleasepleasepleaseno · 22/12/2022 07:40

God all the "in my day we just got on with it" posters are out today.
Just because something was hard for you all those years ago why do you want people today to have the same struggles? Wtf is wrong with the OP having whatever buggy / pram she wants? She's not bloody complaining about the space just not wanting to be left stranded when she happily leaves the bus for a wheelchair user but can't afford to pay for a second ticket.

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 07:42

I think OP was complaining about not being given an onward ticket. Not the having to get off.

Seems fair enough.

Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 07:47

Pleasepleasepleaseno · 22/12/2022 07:40

God all the "in my day we just got on with it" posters are out today.
Just because something was hard for you all those years ago why do you want people today to have the same struggles? Wtf is wrong with the OP having whatever buggy / pram she wants? She's not bloody complaining about the space just not wanting to be left stranded when she happily leaves the bus for a wheelchair user but can't afford to pay for a second ticket.

That's fine, they can have the buggy they want, as long as they realise that they will have to either fold or get off the bus if the buggy comes in to many pieces. If they want a buggy space then campaign for one, don't assume they can steal with wheelchair spaces that they fought so hard to get.

MusicstillonMTV · 22/12/2022 07:48

Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 07:47

That's fine, they can have the buggy they want, as long as they realise that they will have to either fold or get off the bus if the buggy comes in to many pieces. If they want a buggy space then campaign for one, don't assume they can steal with wheelchair spaces that they fought so hard to get.

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I agree and so does the OP. She just didn't want to pay twice which is perfectly reasonable

ohioriver · 22/12/2022 07:49

To clarify. This is the statement I don't understand:

If you have a young baby, you can't put them in a stroller, they are in a bassinet.

You definitely can put young babies in lie flat strollers - there are plenty designed to be used from birth

Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 07:49

MusicstillonMTV · 22/12/2022 07:48

I agree and so does the OP. She just didn't want to pay twice which is perfectly reasonable

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That is reasonable,but I wasn't replying to her comment.

Pleasepleasepleaseno · 22/12/2022 07:57

"That is reasonable,but I wasn't replying to her comment."
No I believe you were replying to mine where I said "She's not bloody complaining about the space just not wanting to be left stranded when she happily leaves the bus for a wheelchair user but can't afford to pay for a second ticket."
some people could start an argument in an empty room!

Devoutspoken · 22/12/2022 07:58

It's a bit shit, babies are little humans that for short period of life can't walk and can be hard work to look after, buses could do with a redesign to accommodate more humans in wheel based contraptions, more fold down seats at the front perhaps, we need to make public transport attractive and accessible to all

Ocrumbs · 22/12/2022 07:59

Why are people getting so judgy about what prams people use?