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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking the buggy off of the bus for a wheelchair

288 replies

GoAgainstNicki · 21/12/2022 15:46

I know in other places in the UK, there are buses that have no back doors so there’s a space for a wheelchair user and then buggy users. It’s not like that in London so the one space that’s available is for wheelchair users. Buggies are allowed to use the space if not needed by a wheelchair uses but need to get out of the way if necessary.

There’s been quite a few times where there’s been myself and another buggy on the bus when a wheelchair has needed the space. Each time, the other parent refuses to get off of the bus (even when I’ve got on first), so I get off to make space for the wheelchair. I also don’t like embarrassment so I’m not going to argue with another parent when a wheelchair user needs the space.

Now I’m always happy to get off for a wheelchair especially as buses come super frequently. However my issue comes with drivers not giving me a ticket to say that I’ve already paid to allow me on another bus. Just a few days ago, I didn’t have much money on my oyster but enough for my journey. I needed to take two buses within the same hour which I could afford with the money on my oyster. A wheelchair wanted to come on so I started to get ready to get off, no problem. I asked the driver if he could print a ticket as I no longer had money on my oyster (the one hour was up) and he said no!

Luckily a bus driver let me get on without paying but AIBU here? Why can’t it be standard practice for drivers to give you a ticket stating you’ve already paid if you have to get off for a wheelchair user?

OP posts:
Travelbud · 22/12/2022 14:40

NameIsBryceQuinlan · 22/12/2022 11:52

I would always move for a wheelchair however my son has severe autism and it would then lead to a violent meltdown. Because he doesn't "look disabled" I get a lot of dirty looks when he has meltdowns. These involve him attacking me in frustration. Us getting off the bus then waiting for another one would be highly stressful for him. However... I would still do this rather than leave a wheelchair on the side of the road

Sorry but you are silly. Why would you do this to your Son? It's not right and there's no matyr points from me in fact I think it's cruel of you!

EasterIsland · 22/12/2022 14:42

Gilead · 22/12/2022 12:19

Jeez Louise, there are some selfish fuckers on here. I am a wheelchair user. I am 64. I was part of the group that fought (and are still fighting) for accessible transport.
There are many stations, both under and overground that are inaccessible.
Anyway, let’s look at me going somewhere. It takes around 40 minutes to get washed and dressed. Then breakfast is half an hour, but look, I have tickets to an event. Off I trot )roll) to the bus stop. It’s starting to rain and it’s bloody cold but the bus will be here soon. Oh here it is, but there’s someone with a baby, all wrapped up in snow suit and blankets. Impossible for me to do that, in the warm I’d overheat and may not be able to get things off, and of course nowhere to store adult sized clothes. In the rain, I can’t hold a brolly and manoeuvre my chair. I have a rain cover but it’s not good if it’s cold and unlike a baby I can’t move about to generate heat. So hypothermia is an option I’m left with if someone wants to operate on a first come first served basis.

Just thought I’d remind all the entitled posters of reality.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 15:03

This reply has been deleted

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

Mine did at that age too, I was always told well really its equivalent to a wheelchair but it can be hard to assert that when you know there's an adult in a wheelchair who also needs the space and you've spent most of the bus ride with people asking you what's wrong with your son and other stupid questions. I think someone mentioned getting a sign for your pushchair from the bus company, def worth a try.
I also always felt it was impossible to asset my need for the space over another pushchair user as people don't understand so wish is known about the signs etc for when we were heading to urgent appts

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 15:08

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 22/12/2022 11:30

If you can, you should and if you can't, then people should accept that.

I’n really glad some of you aren’t in charge of the country. If that were the rule, how many parents do you think would suddenly start saying they couldn’t do it? I’m guessing most of them.

The rule is there for a reason, thank God, and I wish drivers would be more assertive in enforcing it. It drives me mad how selfish many parents are. Instead of being grateful that years of campaigning from disability rights groups secured them a space they can use - no campaigning required - they try and co-opt the space on a permanent basis because they’ve decided to buy prams the size of tanks. And then ask for kindness from everyone else for their behaviour.

Ugh.

Tbf is I was in charge, if have someone to check my posts because I missed a word.

I was going back to court my list to comment on your selective editing but I see its my bad.

SleepingStandingUp · Today 08:53

If you can, you should and if you can't, then people should accept that.

Does that mean I'd have to get off for a wheelchair user if there were two buggies on already? Does that mean I have to wait sometimes for three buses?
I meant to say "yes, but that's better than folding*

And I agree re drivers. Yesterday 4 dodgy looking people got on the bus without tickets. Driver went and asked for tickets then said he wouldn't move without them. Went back to cab. Sat there. After 5 minutes they got off. Fair play to the driver. I don't see how a Mom with a couple of young kids is so much more of a threat that drivers can't do the same. Move , collapse or leave but I'm parked until you do

Travelbud · 22/12/2022 16:19

This reply has been deleted

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Plumbear2 · 22/12/2022 16:30

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

How revolting are you? Gilead helped to make wheelchair spaces possible, without campaigners like her you wouldn't be able to use the space when it is free because it wouldn't exist. Perhaps thank her for all her work and then campaign for a buggy space. People like you make me sick.

Sirzy · 22/12/2022 17:15

Many people in wheelchairs are a lot more vulnerable to illnesses than able bodied people due to the nature of their disabilities.

Sirzy · 22/12/2022 17:17

And gilead thanks to you and everyone else who has campaigned so much. Some people need to remember we are all just one accident or illness away from needing these facilties

Spikeyball · 22/12/2022 17:46

"are you suggesting you don't wear a coat in winter? But a baby is apparently wrapped up?"

Responsible parents usually put their baby in layers of clothing and use waterproof covers on the pram to keep their child warm and dry. Perhaps you didn't do that with your baby. Maybe parenting classes might have been useful.

Oneeyedreindeer · 22/12/2022 17:58

MusicstillonMTV · 21/12/2022 17:40

When mine were little we actually had both a big pram and a little foldable one - in many ways the big one was great for London.

Because when you are out all day without a car, it is great to be able to put things underneath. Not shopping (did that online) but things like picnic blanket, changing bag, scooter for your older child, etc. When I had an uppababby vista, I could have everything we needed for a whole weekend under it which was great when travelling with a baby and a preschooler.

I actually didn't find many downsides to the big pram as even though big, it could get on the bus and even with the little buggy, I usually found it easier to get off than fold anyway

Show quote history

The bigger buggies are, generally speaking, far better for the baby’s spine.

sweetdreamtennasee · 22/12/2022 18:24

not sure if mentioned already but any second bus or tram journey made within one hour of the start of your first journey will be free, if you're using contactless or Oyster pay-as-you-go

Needmorelego · 22/12/2022 18:47

@GrapesAreMyJam as people have said you need to get one of the "please treat this pushchair as a wheelchair" signs. You can get a tag for the actual pushchair and a card to show the driver I believe.

EasterIsland · 26/12/2022 11:10

And gilead thanks to you and everyone else who has campaigned so much. Some people need to remember we are all just one accident or illness away from needing these facilities

Thanks to @Gilead and @Sirzy for making this very clear. Quite a few posters could do well to read & reflect on their words.

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