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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Taking the buggy off of the bus for a wheelchair

288 replies

GoAgainstNicki · 21/12/2022 15:46

I know in other places in the UK, there are buses that have no back doors so there’s a space for a wheelchair user and then buggy users. It’s not like that in London so the one space that’s available is for wheelchair users. Buggies are allowed to use the space if not needed by a wheelchair uses but need to get out of the way if necessary.

There’s been quite a few times where there’s been myself and another buggy on the bus when a wheelchair has needed the space. Each time, the other parent refuses to get off of the bus (even when I’ve got on first), so I get off to make space for the wheelchair. I also don’t like embarrassment so I’m not going to argue with another parent when a wheelchair user needs the space.

Now I’m always happy to get off for a wheelchair especially as buses come super frequently. However my issue comes with drivers not giving me a ticket to say that I’ve already paid to allow me on another bus. Just a few days ago, I didn’t have much money on my oyster but enough for my journey. I needed to take two buses within the same hour which I could afford with the money on my oyster. A wheelchair wanted to come on so I started to get ready to get off, no problem. I asked the driver if he could print a ticket as I no longer had money on my oyster (the one hour was up) and he said no!

Luckily a bus driver let me get on without paying but AIBU here? Why can’t it be standard practice for drivers to give you a ticket stating you’ve already paid if you have to get off for a wheelchair user?

OP posts:
Rockbird · 21/12/2022 22:08

Just goes to show, you can't do right for doing wrong with some people. If you don't make way for a wheelchair you're an arsehole and if you do make way you're still the problem.

You're absolutely right OP. There should be proper guidelines in place for this. If they want people out of cars and onto public transport they need to make it more usable for everyone and if that means printing a ticket then that's what they should do. You shouldn't have to beg for one.

Plumbear2 · 21/12/2022 22:09

Kpo58 · 21/12/2022 18:42

Generations also had a proper luggage rack for umbrella buggies that no longer exist on buses.

They also had a friendly bus conductor that could help them on the bus.

Also the buses weren't rammed so full of people that you didn't have to worry about falling over because you physically could not.

Less women needed to use them as they had more local shops for everyday essentials so they wouldn't need to take their baby into town. Also there weren't all the baby activities for them to go to either.

I mean why shouldn't more women just spend their days at home having coffee mornings, cleaning the house and making sure that dinner was ready for the exact moment that their husband got home from work instead of getting ideas like going out for the day. /Sarcasm

Show quote history

Where you actually alive then? Because I was and it was not all like you described. If went on buses daily with my mum. She had me, an older brother, a pram and bags. Sh we folded the buggy, no there wasn't always a conductor and more people used the buses than they do now due to less cars as toddlers we had to stand on the bus. More woman used the bus back then, I know I was there.

HerMajestysRoyalCoven · 21/12/2022 23:20

strawberry2017 · 21/12/2022 20:53

I just don't think it's fair that someone with a baby in a pushchair should be made to leave a bus for someone in a wheelchair.
Not all cases are the same and quite frequently there are reasons women can't fold down the pushchairs.
Mothers and babies have rights to.
It should be first come first serve.

You can think that all you like but that’s not how it actually works, thankfully.

Feel free to campaign for years and years and years and you might get your own space. Until then stop co-opting the ones that others fought long and hard for.

Kokeshi123 · 21/12/2022 23:24

If you fold a buggy, you will need a seat for you and the baby and the shopping bag will probably wind up on the floor, taking up space.

If you don’t fold, no need for a seat and the bag doesn’t have to go on the floor.

How much space does folding actually save, honestly?

Spikeyball · 21/12/2022 23:30

"I don't think wheelchairs should get priority over pushchairs."

You don't think wheelchairs should get priority over pushchairs in a wheelchair space? You know the clue is in the name.

SpinningFloppa · 21/12/2022 23:38

I actually got off the bus for a wheelchair user once and she had a go at me! So sometimes you can’t win

EasterIsland · 21/12/2022 23:46

And able-bodied people with buggies who refuse to let wheelchair users have the space are awful - it was because of wheelchair users' (not buggy users') hard work successfully campaigning for accessible buses that that those spaces are there in the first place.

This. And buggy users do refuse. Apparently it’s ok for wheelchair users to be left in the rain and wind to wait for the next bus.

EasterIsland · 21/12/2022 23:48

strawberry2017 · 21/12/2022 20:53

I just don't think it's fair that someone with a baby in a pushchair should be made to leave a bus for someone in a wheelchair.
Not all cases are the same and quite frequently there are reasons women can't fold down the pushchairs.
Mothers and babies have rights to.
It should be first come first serve.

You are a thoughtless ignorant person with no imagination. And what you advocate is illegal. I shudder for the character of children you’re raising.

Gilead · 22/12/2022 01:01

just don't think it's fair that someone with a baby in a pushchair should be made to leave a bus for someone in a wheelchair.
I just don’t think it’s fair that wheelchair users who fought long and hard for access should be forced to wait in all weathers because someone who has a child in a buggy for two years feels so entitled that they can’t or won’t comprehend just how difficult it is to access shops/transport/life.
I fought my battle, I won. You want buggy spaces you campaign for them, but you won’t, be y y the time your child is five you’ll have forgotten the small disruption you suffered. Mine however is ongoing.

Gilead · 22/12/2022 01:03

@GoAgainstNicki
I actually came onto this thread to say thank you to you and others who move so that we can have some semblance of normality in our lives. 💐

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 01:14

@WomanhoodIsABirthright ·

God forbid a toddler uses its fucking legs.
You mean those toddlers who are by definition, still toddling so not entirely stable on their feet, who don't have tons of upper body strength to hold on whilst the driver whangs his bus around a corner, who by dint of their own laziness in sure haven't grown very tall yet so can't hold on to half the supports anyway, who's small size actually makes them a trip hazard on buses so packed you can't see where you're stepping?

, yeah toddlers, how dare you be so useless at 2. Go and get a job and learn to drive 🙄🙄

RunLolaRun102 · 22/12/2022 01:23

GoAgainstNicki · 21/12/2022 20:00

My son has a low weight because of his genetic disorder. One stone may not be heavy for some but I have a really bad back so carrying him is out of the question. My DD is 1 and a half and I definitely couldn’t carry her with a decent sling around the house. My back would break!

That’s neither here nor there anyway but thank you for all the comments. It’s clear that I’m not being unreasonable so I’ll continue to ask for a ‘single use only’ ticket from the driver if this ever happens again. However I’ll be keeping my oyster fully topped up from now on!

Is your son classed as disabled? If so most bus companies would consider his pushchair a wheelchair you just need to make sure you have the documentation to hand. Might help in getting other pushchairs off but maybe not when a wheelchair user comes on.

SleepingStandingUp · 22/12/2022 01:24

meatballsoup · 21/12/2022 17:40

@GoAgainstNicki - Its doable. A quick google search shows a good selection of lightweight easy to fold double buggies. so HTH right back at ya

Great except op and people like me now have a kid on each hand so nothing free to fold the buggy with. Perhaps yo u an find us one that closes by mind control can carry my chubby twijs

Whattaboutit · 22/12/2022 01:28

Sounds like your son has a disability which makes it more difficult for you to fold his buggy. I don’t think it’s fair that a disabled child should have to leave the bus in order to accommodate a disabled adult.

sashh · 22/12/2022 01:45

crimsonpeak · 21/12/2022 16:30

YANBU OP.

To everyone saying fold up your buggy, it’s not always that easy. You can’t fold one up if it has a bassinet on it can you!

If you live in London and you know you are going to be using busses then perhaps you should consider that before buying your buggy.

OP

Just a little thing, I sometimes use a wheel chair, I don't like being referred to as 'the wheelchair' or 'a wheelchair' I'm still aperson.

Yfory · 22/12/2022 01:55

I deliberately made sure to choose a pushchair that I could fold up one handed (or at least almost one handed/fairly easily) for just this sort of situation.

Travelbud · 22/12/2022 04:24

EasterIsland · 21/12/2022 23:46

And able-bodied people with buggies who refuse to let wheelchair users have the space are awful - it was because of wheelchair users' (not buggy users') hard work successfully campaigning for accessible buses that that those spaces are there in the first place.

This. And buggy users do refuse. Apparently it’s ok for wheelchair users to be left in the rain and wind to wait for the next bus.

Why should a baby be left in the rain? Lots of babies are born with medical conditions. Just because you may be in a wheelchair doesn't give you the right to demand and take priority because you are in a wheelchair. There's a que and it's as simple as that!!

harrassedmumto3 · 22/12/2022 04:40

Sigma33 · 21/12/2022 15:56

If you in London then you won't be charged - you can use an unlimited number of buses within an hour for the 'single' fare of £1.65.

Crikey, buses in London are cheaper than in Edinburgh. Who knew?!

harrassedmumto3 · 22/12/2022 04:41

Oh, and YANBU.

Maybebabyno2 · 22/12/2022 04:57

There's really no argument for anyone with any sense. OP isn't moaning about getting off the bus so the fold/no fold bit is irrelevant.

OP just wants to have a ticket for the remainder of her journey as she got off early to accommodate a wheelchair user. Of course there should be an official process in place to cover these situations. YANBU OP

deplorabelle · 22/12/2022 05:15

Plumbear2 · 21/12/2022 22:09

Where you actually alive then? Because I was and it was not all like you described. If went on buses daily with my mum. She had me, an older brother, a pram and bags. Sh we folded the buggy, no there wasn't always a conductor and more people used the buses than they do now due to less cars as toddlers we had to stand on the bus. More woman used the bus back then, I know I was there.

Show quote history

If you remember it you were walking age! And you don't know about all the trips your mother decided NOT to make because they were too difficult.

OP I completely agree you shouldn't need to pay again if you get off the bus. Outside London where public transport is neither plentiful nor cheap this is an even bigger deal. I live on one of the better public transport routes in my county. To get off the bus and wait for the next one could still be a 20 minute wait and a return fare is £5.50 so no way would I be paying again.

dentydown · 22/12/2022 05:46

Op, I the tfl website states that if you choose to leave the bus for a wheelchair user, then the driver should issue a continuation ticket so you don’t pay any extra money. https://tfl.gov.uk/transport-accessibility/getting-around-with-your-buggy . I think drivers are either not aware of this or they just don’t want to press the button to issue a ticket.

it also says buggies can occupy the space on a first come first serve basis, but when a wheelchair user wishes to board the bus they have priority. So buggies have to fold and allow a person to board.

There is only one space for a wheelchair user.

Mummyoflittledragon · 22/12/2022 05:53

Travelbud · 22/12/2022 04:24

Why should a baby be left in the rain? Lots of babies are born with medical conditions. Just because you may be in a wheelchair doesn't give you the right to demand and take priority because you are in a wheelchair. There's a que and it's as simple as that!!

Show quote history

Most parents are able bodied. They can push a buggy. Wheelchair users use their wheelchair in place of legs. They cannot walk and many cannot drive. They can’t just take a taxi either. Unlike parents with buggies. Spending even a day in a wheelchair would remedy this sort of thinking pattern.

Travelbud · 22/12/2022 06:10

@Mummyoflittledragon I'm sorry but you are being highly presumptuous, my child's needs come before you and your wheelchair.

Sirzy · 22/12/2022 06:21

Thankfully I rarely have to use the bus with DS. I do love thé driver i encountered a few years back who refused to move the bus until a parent with a buggy had moved to allow DS in his wheelchair to be properly secured in the wheelchair space.

the minority of people who object to people in wheelchairs using the only space on the bus they can access need to remember why they are able to take their pram onto the bus at all.