Have you found ageing hard?

[Grasshopper12]

I'm only 31 so probably going to get shot down by people older, but I've still had some changes.
The skin under my eyes has definitely thinned, so now I've got more obvious dark circles no matter how much sleep I have/water I drink. Someone even told me I looked tired the other day when I'd had a great night's sleep. :/
I'm contemplating tear trough filler as apparently it's the only thing that fills out the hollows.
Currently I haven't got any other signs, small crows feet around my eyes and slight under eye lines but nothing else, however it's the under eye hollows that bother me.
However this is just the start of it all I imagine. I wear SPF 50, use retinol, tretonin, vitamin C etc.
I'm not bothered about looking older in the future, it's not realistic to look 20 forever.
However I'm scared of looking haggard, washed out, sagging and so on.
Yes it is shallow to say but I like my looks, I do get validation from them which I know is sad.
I know it's better than the alternative, but this doesn't mean we aren't allowed to care about how we look.
Has anybody else found ageing hard physically? What was the hardest thing about it?

I definitely have but I took action 5 years ago and I’m now 36 but still look 30 thanks to Botox, lip filler and a good skin care routine.

I also have terrible under eyes and have tried every treatment except tear trough. The reason is my body expels filler super quick and I’m worried it would be too big of a commitment.

I'm not enjoying it.

I was very good looking when I was younger. While I still am above average, I'm clearly an older woman. I can't pretend that I wouldn't prefer to look like I used to.

It's a big crutch to have in life in terms of people being nicer to you and assuming that you are confident which makes it easier to pretend you are. People want to talk to you. People like doing things for you. It's easier to approach potential partners. I've definitely been offered jobs because of how I look when I haven't been qualified.

It sounds horrible to say, but it is how I get treated. I was a particularly ugly child so I know the difference very well in how people respond to me now. It's world's apart.

That said, I wouldn't get work because I think as soon as it's obvious you've had something done, it's game over. No matter how good you look, there's something uncanny valley about you.

I'm not bothered about looking older in the future

you sure about that @Grasshopper12 ? Because that’s a lot of words on something you’re not that worried about, if so.

Us women can't win can we? If we age, it's game over and if we get work, it's game over too.

Yes it does bother me...i'm 44. I look ok bit definitely older.

Hate it, 56 and suddenly ageing. I look in the mirror and don't like what I see. Was never 'pretty' but didn't look my age. So it's not pleasant now.

I’m 46, I’m happy with my face but until I was in my late 30s I was a size 6, now I’m a size 12 and can’t seem to shift the extra weight at all.

No, I’m grateful to be alive and to have a body that works. That’s all we need.

Don't give a toss.
I'm 55 and have no 'beauty regime'. I've better things to spend my money and energy on than trying to not look my age.

I'm just going with the flow, although I don't like my hair going grey. I do dye my hair every couple of months.

I am 51. Not done any Botox or fillers, and I absolutely won't be doing them. I won't say aging doesn't bother me, but not enough to put stuff in my face.
I am reasonably healthy, so think I am lucky in that and focusing more on that in the next few years.
It helps that I am in a profession where looks don't matter, and I have never been all that good looking anyway.

When you get to 55 you'll look back at 31 and realise how utterly fabulous you looked. Stop fretting. A decent diet, regular exercise, not too much alcohol, will all help but nothing can hold back time.

Well it definitely has elements that I find difficult - as you said, a good nights sleep doesn’t do as much as it once did. Especially when you throw children into the mix, it’s incredibly hard to ever feel (and look) totally refreshed.

I also find dieting and exercise is harder, losing a few lbs doesn’t happen quite as quickly as it once did.

Make up doesn’t sit quite as nice as it once did - although having more money now means I can buy better products and look after my skin.

My aging hands bother me, not too much we can do about that.

However, the difference in how much I actually care now in my mid 40s compared to my early 30s is considerable. I really do not care now. I enjoy skincare, make up, cosmetics etc for the joy of them and how they make me feel, but I do go about half my life looking like a total hobo and I REALLY DONT CARE.

In your 30s you say you don’t care but it has a totally different meaning once you’re past 40, there’s a massive reduction in the shits that you actually give about aging. (In my experience anyway - everyone is different)

growing old is a privilege

I don’t really mind it to be honest. I’m 51. I actually feel that I have much more confidence and few fucks to give than 20 years ago. I’m more worried about the state of my hands than my face 😂.

actually now i have more time (kids grew up and i retired from work) I have more time to attend keep fit classes, No longer sit at a desk all day. so dont give up entirely.

There are times that it bothers me. But when it bothers me, I give myself a talking to. I don’t want people to judge me on my looks, so why would I judge my own worth on them?

I think there also comes a point when you start to care more about your health than your looks. I’m 45 now, and I want to be fit, flexible, strong and keep my weight down for health purposes more than I want to be seen as attractive.

The Botox / filler route can be good if it’s very subtle - I’m not opposed to it - but in many people it’s much more obvious than they think and I don’t think that makes you look younger, just like you’ve had work done.

I'm 37 and since about 30 I have noticed that I am ageing. I've been a mum since I was 21 and had 2 periods of poor mental health as well. Life has definitely aged me more than some of my friends who currently only have toddlers. I have a very expressive forehead as well!

Anyway, I have asked my husband whether he thinks I should start any procedures etc. He said no because he thinks initially they look great, but over the years people start looking like caricatures of themselves. I tend to agree to an extent.

In the last year or so, I have come round to how I look now but I am sure every 5 to 10 years I will have to go through a process of acceptance on my ever older reflection!

60+ here and I couldn't give a shiny shite. I love myself, treat myself, spend loads of money on myself, travel all around the place and am happily and safely invisible.

My face has more lines than Euston Station, but the person I always was is still here and hopefully always will be, and I love and am loved by family and friends. That's what people largely remember about you, not your looks.

Oh, a thing that does bother is me is that I used to eat 4 calorific meals a day plus snacks, and still managed to be 8 stone. I am now 11 stone, while really watching what I eat. My metabolism is just so much slower and it takes so much effort to keep off the weight in peri-menopause, especially on my stomach.

That annoys me more than my face, because carrying extra weight around is unhealthy and makes me feel sluggish.

I'm 52 and I have found it not as hard as I thought I would find it.

It would be to the surprise of my 30 year old self that I'm happy, less anxious, I don't seek as much approval, I connect better with people than I did when I was 30.

I was always trying so effing hard to be fadhionable/beautiful/cool. I agonised over 'stupid' things I'd said or the less than perfect impressions I'd made.

I dont think I look like a crone either. I still ENJOY doing my make up. I find it meditative.

I’m 43 and so far I’m actually enjoying aging and seeing myself changing. I’m now about 50% grey and have plenty of wrinkles so definitely plenty of aging happening!
DH is 49 and his hair was jet black when we married, now his is 3/4 grey and his beard is almost entirely grey. But I love the changes.
Honestly, I find it beautiful and fascinating to watch and experience.

I’m 55 and perfectly happy to be. My mum was like you OP, obsessed with ageing and her looks. Well she is 80 now, you can’t stop time. I always thought it was a shallow waste of her energy, she was always overly fixated on the male gaze for approval.

Probably in rebellion to my mum I was determined not to waste my time, energy and money on the anti ageing industry. And do you know what, I don’t think any of it really makes any difference. I am fit and slim for the sake of my health and because I love exercise. Injecting a load of shite in your face won’t really make you look younger in any case.

I'm 47 and definitely finding it hard that I don't looks as good as I did, but overall I'm much happier with my life and and personal circumstances than I was 15 years ago, so that goes a long way towards helping me come to terms with it.

I'm 68 and still miss my youthful pretty face and body. I still haven't got used to being ignored. But what can we do? Just live with it. There's more pressing problems.

I'm 33 and can honestly say I've never thought about ageing. I feel a bit sorry for woman my age who do to be honest. Enjoy your youth then enjoy growing older and wiser.

Women