Have you found ageing hard?

[Grasshopper12]

I'm only 31 so probably going to get shot down by people older, but I've still had some changes.
The skin under my eyes has definitely thinned, so now I've got more obvious dark circles no matter how much sleep I have/water I drink. Someone even told me I looked tired the other day when I'd had a great night's sleep. :/
I'm contemplating tear trough filler as apparently it's the only thing that fills out the hollows.
Currently I haven't got any other signs, small crows feet around my eyes and slight under eye lines but nothing else, however it's the under eye hollows that bother me.
However this is just the start of it all I imagine. I wear SPF 50, use retinol, tretonin, vitamin C etc.
I'm not bothered about looking older in the future, it's not realistic to look 20 forever.
However I'm scared of looking haggard, washed out, sagging and so on.
Yes it is shallow to say but I like my looks, I do get validation from them which I know is sad.
I know it's better than the alternative, but this doesn't mean we aren't allowed to care about how we look.
Has anybody else found ageing hard physically? What was the hardest thing about it?

The skin under my eyes has definitely thinned, so now I've got more obvious dark circles no matter how much sleep I have/water I drink. Someone even told me I looked tired the other day when I'd had a great night's sleep. :/
I'm contemplating tear trough filler as apparently it's the only thing that fills out the hollows.

How about contemplating trying a number of under-eye concealers from different brands at department store makeup counters before you get something major like that done? You're 31. You had one remark. Get a grip or you really will not enjoy actual ageing.

I'm 60, and it was harder than when I turned 50 for sure. But what's the alternative? My husband died suddenly at 51, so really it's a blessing to still be alive.
Keep your weight steady, don't smoke, avoid the sun and moisturise. Try to avoid stress. The rest is genes.

I'm 46 and probably look it. I am much happier with the way I look now than when I was 20. If someone makes a shitty remark, well so what? Mid 40s woman looks her age? Hold the front fucking page!

It's the bodily signs of ageing that I'm having trouble with, can't seem to keep my arthritis in check these days and I need three separate pairs of specs.

At 31, you are a spring chicken. Please enjoy every minute of it, don't waste a single second worrying. Use retinol and SPF, drink lots of water and stay away from cigarettes. That's pretty much it.

I'm 40 and can say I look alright as long as all the boxes have been ticked :early night, little alcohol, healthy food, exercise, water, good weight.

If I go off piste I look rough.

now I’ve knocking on fifty I look pretty good!

to be brutally honest... I'm not fat. Most women my age are fat. "Let themselves go." would have been said in past.

I don't care for fashion, never wore makeup, childhood in sun means plenty wrinkles, unkept hair, scruffy clothes... but having a good figure makes me get noticed by men and women, in spite of my lack of any other grooming/merits.

I care how I feel in my own skin which has nothing to do with what anyone thinks of how I look. Me feeling good about myself has to do with kid-values like can I climb things, run somewhere, skate, ride a bike, carry a load. Those things make me feel strong & capable. Y'all can have smooth feet, nice haircuts, prettyness, good grooming. I have something better.

In future when I can't run so fast or skate... I will keep focusing on what I can do, how I can keep mobile, never grieve over whatever thing I can't do so well any more. That I suspect is secret to happy ageing.

I honestly don't think old women look bad. It's weird to me that so many people are obsessed with youth. Like a fetish.

I used to be unhappy with my appearance, but now I’m 43 I wish I could give my younger self a shake and tell her to appreciate all the things she took for granted. Life’s been difficult at times in the last decade and it shows. I used to look young for my age, now I’m wrinkly and haggard and most definitely middle aged. My appearance has kind of slipped down my priority list. Ageing can be hard for many reasons, honestly cosmetic stuff is the least of my worries.

I’m 46, definitely a bit fat, more than a few grey hairs and a face lined to reflect the many ups and downs of my journey through life so far.

I’m not sure anyone other than my lovely children would class me as beautiful, but I’m certainly happier in my own skin than I’ve ever been.

Best attitude. I’m only 30 but have 3 DCs and a stressful job. I started going grey in my early 20s. I’m beginning to have crows feet around my eyes, and deeper ridges in my forehead. I take them as signs of a life being lived! I’m quite pleased with my look as I age, even if it’s a bit of a shock sometimes.

Ageing happens to fortunate people. I wish we could celebrate and embrace the look of experience. I know so many older women who look so distinguished - beautiful even - but by the standards of this thread would be seen as saggy bags of bones. How sad! They are strong, powerful, loving, competent women, whose bodies have and are serving them well. What could be more attractive?

Ahh for some reason I can’t quote properly.

Try mesotherapy before you get filler under your eyes.
I have 2 each year and my skin looks great

Agree it’s this advice. Filler is a LONG slippery slope down once you start. There is always one more small thing to try. And then another. Enormously expensive for constant required top ups. Be really careful before starting Filler.

I’m 50 next year and wonder where the years have gone to be honest.

Late 50s, not particularly bothered about looking my age. I wasn't a beauty as a teenager and a young woman (I have photographic evidence of this) and am still not a beauty but I'm quite striking looking and not invisible. I've started to use face creams with "ingredients" but don't plan to have any work done or dye my hair. My weight hasn't changed since I shifted the last of the pregnancy pounds after my last baby over 20 years ago.

The functional changes to my body annoy me a bit. The loss of sharp near vision, my teeth deteriorating, a spot of osteoarthritis here and there, a drop in my stride length for running and my cycling power output despite doing the recommended strength training, and just not being able to do as much as I used to without getting tired. But I have no actual health problems and an taking that as a huge bit of good luck.

Ageing has very little to do with crows feet and thinning skin. I'm 63 and my face looks OK for my age, but I have very painful arthritis which requires regular analgesia .

I'm wobbly on my feet now, and that resulted in a very nasty fall last week, so I'm laid up with a hugely swollen leg injury and on antibiotics for cellulitis in the wound.

My memory is terrible and I worry about getting dementia like my mother had.

I'd swap all my problems for a few harmless crows feet, any day !

All those saying Botox and fillers make them look younger are in denial - they just make you look like you've had Botox and fillers. Weird crinkles half way up the nose, so very peculiar (and yet increasingly commonplace).
A decent cream blusher is the best tool.
Don't waste time worrying about your looks, wait until your 40s when you start to realise your joints are beginning to creak and that you can't sleep on the ground without really feeling it anymore 😩

It’s better than the alternative.

Im nearly 50 and feel and look the best I ever have, well maybe not look, that was just prior to lockdown. Would like to loose the extra stone I put on during covid, but am just too happy and content to start 😂

I think what has contributed to this is finally knowing myself, who I am, what I like and what I value in life. Meeting a partner I love to spend time with and having the best sex of my life. Seeing the end of my child raising years coming into view, taking satisfaction in a job well done and freedom on the agenda again. Getting ahead with my career again after a long hiatus. But that all boils down to self confidence and self esteem - two things you will not find in a syringe.

At 47 i would venture that a very good doctor with extreme experience can use Botox like an artist to relax and smooth frowns and grimaces and deep lines. Done by a top artist (I only know the london ones) it is a dramatic boost to my well-being. I’m not trying to eradicate crows feet etc….just to soften my the nasty deep grooves caused by my very active face. Face stays moving, never frozen.

Yes. I was good looking without having to put any effort in and I am now 52 and becoming invisible. It wasn't until the menopause i started to look and feel older 2-3 years ago and I now realise how much my self esteem was attached to being looked at and being considered beautiful/attractive.

I'm only 44 so not sure I can really comment yet, I'm more interested in what people in their 60s, 70s and 80s have to say. But so far I've embraced or at least accepted the changed that have come with getting older, which have been minimal and mainly cosmetic so far. I don't dye my salt-and-pepper hair and am growing it into a sort of Patti Smith shag. I don't wear a lot of make-up - none, most days, but I moisturise well. I'd never consider fillers or botox.

Physical changes: I noticed over the past few years that I can't tolerate alcohol as well as I used to, which was a surprise as I used to be quite a big drinker - I used to take a sort of pride in being able to hold my drink. So now I rarely drink or if I do, I just have one or two. I stay active, I weight train 5 times a week and do a lot of walking. I support older people as part of my work and I have noticed how balance, strength and mobility can start to go downhill as early as your fifties if you don't work on these, so I do.

I am more confident now. My self-esteem can still be wobbly at times but I'm beginning to realise I'm no better or worse than anyone else, so I should stop apologising for myself, a habit that became so ingrained in my teens and twenties that it has taken a while to unlearn. I'm also focusing inward more - on nurturing my relationship with my kids, now teenagers, my husband, my wider family. My dad died suddenly on this day last year and that was a big reality check.

I’m a bit older than you (39) but I’m definitely noticing it now. I wouldn’t mind lines, I am starting to sag and just look more ‘sad’ somehow? I don’t like it!

I’m definitely not image obsessed, but I do work in a career where looks are—rightly or wrongly—a factor (PR) and I’m starting to notice the difference. I’m trying to focus on skincare and health, rather than aesthetics, but I definitely wouldn’t judge anyone for having work done or rule it out myself.

You are 30, so getting validation off your looks is normal, especially if that is a big thing in your life (its always was for me and din't make me especially happy).

However, you will have to start getting validation off other things too if you want to keep your mental health intact as youthful looks slowly disappear.

I'm older and haven't found ageing hard. I still look amazing for a 40 year old with a few kids (and don't compare myself to younger women!)

A note on your beauty routine and injectables plan: the only thing that really works is Botox, I'd forget about wasting money on fancy creams. Do wait with getting things done in your face until you're in your 40s though. I guarantee you that you don't need this now, you're glowing!

Focus on non-beauty related things, not on whatever you consider fixing in your face. I bet that is all in your head and you look amazing.

I look ok for my age (50) and I'm often told I look a lot younger. DH is 11 years younger than me and we don't look as if there's that much of an age gap!

For me the worst thing about ageing is not how I look, it's how my health has declined. I have rheumatoid arthritis which seems to be getting worse with age, my hearing (which has never been brilliant) is getting worse, my eyesight too. And yesterday I had some really worrying healthy news which has knocked me for six.

I'd give anything to have the me of even five years ago back.

Well having lost a friend, who's only desire was to reach 50 (she didn't), another with aggressive breast cancer at the age of 51, at the age of 52 I think getting older is a privilege.

I've just had a health scare - got the all clear yesterday - I spent a lot of time worrying about that but worrying about how I'm aging etc is a complete waste of time. Change your perspective.