Have you found ageing hard?

[Grasshopper12]

I'm only 31 so probably going to get shot down by people older, but I've still had some changes.
The skin under my eyes has definitely thinned, so now I've got more obvious dark circles no matter how much sleep I have/water I drink. Someone even told me I looked tired the other day when I'd had a great night's sleep. :/
I'm contemplating tear trough filler as apparently it's the only thing that fills out the hollows.
Currently I haven't got any other signs, small crows feet around my eyes and slight under eye lines but nothing else, however it's the under eye hollows that bother me.
However this is just the start of it all I imagine. I wear SPF 50, use retinol, tretonin, vitamin C etc.
I'm not bothered about looking older in the future, it's not realistic to look 20 forever.
However I'm scared of looking haggard, washed out, sagging and so on.
Yes it is shallow to say but I like my looks, I do get validation from them which I know is sad.
I know it's better than the alternative, but this doesn't mean we aren't allowed to care about how we look.
Has anybody else found ageing hard physically? What was the hardest thing about it?

I do and I dont.

My boyfriend still fancies me, I take care of myself and I was an ugly duckling as a teen so im not hankering for too far back 😅

Also had a parent die young so I try to focus on living life and not on aging. Dont really like my crows feet but at least it means I smile!

Yep, it's not sitting well with me 😂. 50 next year and I feel shit but I do need to lose some weight. So that's my plan going forward. After Christmas obviously 😂

I'm at the end of my 20s and started to notice I have a fine line going from my mouth down to my chin and like you have tired eyes. It is frustrating when you've had validation and more options probably based on your looks to see them fade.

It doesn’t really bother me to be honest.

I worked nights for many years so aged prematurely and now having been on days for a number of years, I sort of haven’t aged as much. I’m catching up with myself I guess🤣

I’ve never been very attractive so that’s possibly part of it and also, I’ve got so much more confidence, I care a lot less what people think of me and my career has flourished so that balances things out really.

What I don’t like is my knees failing me. I had to stop running and have gained a lot of weight. That’s the dark side of aging, the aches and pains and health problems.

I’m 40 next year and I’m the same, need to tackle the weight issue once and for all! 🤣

Now that's a bitch lol, wish it would hurry up and be over.

I don’t mind aging and as I have lost my sister too early when she was 36 and work in palliative care I view every year as a privilege and really don’t give to much care about my looks. I always looked younger but at 43 now I’m definitely looking my age. It’s the weight I’d really like to change but just can’t lose it.

I’m 50 and haven’t struggled with the losing my looks side because I’ve never had any - I’ve always looked very plain. I don’t really have any wrinkles though - I’m fair so never sunbathed, and I’ve only found a couple of grey hairs as my family always went grey late.

But the physical deterioration - ugh!!! I hate needing glasses to read after a lifetime of 20:20 vision. And the joint pain that comes with perimenopause was debilitating to the point of having a major effect on my life with things like gardening or fell walking. HRT has helped with that though.

I’m 38 and think about ageing a lot. I love fashion, make up etc, and I’m very conscious that at some point, I will absolutely look like mutton dressed as lamb, so I’ll have to tone things down.

I’ve noticed my hair, whilst not yet greying, is definitely a bit rougher and looks / feels like it needs brushing ALL the time. I’ve had to change all my make up to cream based products as powder looks awful.

I think I look OK for my age, but it’s very obvious I’m in my 30s…there’s zero danger of anyone mistaking me for younger and that transition has only happened the last couple of years. It’s a weird, but inevitable and very clear, shift.

I'm late 30's and have definitely aged since starting a family. Had my 1st at 35 and it's been a gradual decline from their looks wise! I'm heavier, have more grey hair and crows feet. That said, I don't get enough sleep, eat too much crap and don't have the time or energy to exercise so I'm not doing myself any favours really.

I look back at photos of myself from 5/10 years ago and think, 'I looked amazing'! I only wish I'd felt it/realised at the time. I'll prob look back on pictures of me taken now in 5 years time and feel the same.

Aging isn't fun (physically) but no amount of filler or botox is going to stop it happening. Just have to take care of yourself (need to take my own advice) x

I'm 44. I've definitely noticed some shifts in the past few years - dryer skin, fine lines, some light sag around the jaw, neck muscles starting to show. I don't know much is ageing and how much is the general trauma of the past few years (pandemic, health stuff. I'd be lying if I said it didn't feel a bit...weird - for now, I'm mainly keeping up my skincare (been using sunscreen for decades, added in retinol more recently) and adjusting my make-up. I've also shifted my exercising towards more yoga to get the flexibility and muscle toning in there. Honestly the worst physical thing about ageing so far is that even a tiny amount of booze will send me into a 48 hour hangover.

But...the trade-offs for getting older are fcking great. Like others say, I can afford the good make-up and skincare and gym membership. I am so confident - not about how l look but about who I am and how content I am with my lot, and how well I can weather difficult things, and that's what shines through. As well as my own health stuff, I've also had loved ones go through terrible disabling illnesses and accidents in the past while, and I am so grateful for what I have.

One more thing which I think keeps me on an even keel about this is seeing my many dear female friends also ageing and realising that yes, they do look older AND (not but) they look fabulous. It comes for us all.

I'm 36 and think I look better than ever. I didn't really hit my stride looks-wise until I was in my late 20s. I also didn't commit to being in really good shape until after I had my first DC when I was 32. I'm pregnant right now, but before that I had the fittest, most toned body I'd ever had in my life

I don't have a "cute" face and I've never been conventionally girl-next-door pretty, so I've kind of grown into my looks as I've got older. I looked more haggard in my early 20s when I never slept, drank like a fish, smoked like a chimney and went out clubbing 5 nights a week on a regular basis.

I actually like getting older! You couldn't pay me to do my 20s again.

I also think it's wrong to invalidate people's feelings. I'm allowed to feel grateful to be alive but still hate looking older. The two aren't mutually exclusive.

It's good to hear so many people are confident and don't care about it. I wish I could feel the same, I'm used to being told I look good and I don't want people to start thinking the opposite, I know it's vain/shallow/whatever.

It's the aches and pains that bother me more than the wrinkles 😕 I got bloody plantar fascitis in March which is just easing off, I've just started slowwllly running again and today my hip is aching 😡 I'm only 50 😢

31??? Really that’s not old atall. The real hardcore ageing has not even begun!

I think she was correcting herself as she had put ' woman' when she meant to type 'women'

It's hard to age. Nobody notices that except you. I've been doing spf, retinol, vitamin c since my early twenties, spf much earlier than any of the women I know. No amount of skincare is going to boost your self esteem. Embrace yourself and find good things that come with age, like the ultimate art of not giving a damn. I'm still being asked for an id when I buy scissors or alcohol and I'm 38. My skin is not that soft, there are smile lines and bags under my eyes. Try cle de peau concealer or Bobbi brown corrector/concealer for your eyes. I always look at my grandma's pictures, she always looked beautiful because she smiled. Be good to yourself x

I am 55 and I have got fatter as I got older, menopause has been harsh. and my boobs have sagged. I do me, dress as I please, dye my hair purple and wear my piercings with pride. My body isnt great but I have inherited lovely skin from my Granny and my Mum, not too many wrinkles and no bingo wings just yet. With age has come comfort in my skin and I no longer give a flying whatsit about what anyone thinks.

I'm in my late forties and I think I look better than ten years ago when I had two toddlers who wouldn't sleep! I have chronic joint pain now though which I was not expecting so "young".

Yes it’s hard. I talk myself round but I find it tough. Not just the aesthetic side of things- all of it.

i go through phases of thinking I look old and haggard and then feeling I look young again….maybe because I start making more effort. I’m 50 and I’m not quite sure how old I look….someone said early thirties the other day but that really is pushing it!

I used to be obsessed with my looks because I never felt that there was anything else interesting about me. Now I still spend a lot of time on my beauty routine but it makes me feel healthier to look good and I have health anxiety so it benefits me.

As others have said, people are so much nicer when someone looks nice and I enjoy the response I get when I give someone a big smile. It seems stupid that people are nicer but I use it to my advantage. But I’m constantly wondering whether certain people would even give me the time of day if I didn’t look nice and I’m not flattered by compliments about my looks - if rather someone said I was funny.

You could add derma rolling and facial exercises to your routine but work on developing your character and general knowledge etc because even if you look good at fifty, those things will (should) be more important.

This.

Yanbu. The only thing I can advise is making peace with the process but being absolutely militant about your skin/haircare regimen. In my 20s I could often get away with e.g. sleeping without having removed my makeup and cleansed (not sure I even knew what cleansing was back then!) but if I try that today I'd end up spending a week looking like I'd just returned from war.

At 31 I probably did , at 61 I'm more bothered about various niggling health things and specialist referrals and whilst facially I don't look too bad- my body hasn't held up quite so well.