AIBU to cancel Xmas curry

[Animallover87]

My mum has done Xmas dinner my whole life. This year she wanted a break and to go out for a curry so she has booked it for me, her and my DH.

She's really looking forward to it after a rough few years with loss of relatives etc.

I'd normally be really looking forward to it too... But I'm 7 weeks pregnant and I'm feeling permanently nauseous. I can barely eat anything and the thought of curry makes me want to vomit.

I don't know whether to suck it up and hope it'll be fine. Or say my DH will do Xmas dinner and invite her to ours. But I wasn't planning on telling her about the pregnancy this early on.

She's had so much bad news over the last few years I wanted to wait til we have a scan photo and the risk of miscarriage is minimal.

What do i do???

Could you manage a bit of rice? I think I'd say to her that you're feeling a bit nauseous but not the reason if you prefer to wait- obviously she might suspect but she won't know.

If you guys are close, I'd just tell her about the pregnancy and do the home cooked meal instead.

@PrimroseYello Yeah I was thinking maybe just focus on the plain stuff, poppadoms etc.

Tricky one OP. Is the Christmas meal important to you? Would the smell of other people's curries make you sick even if you just had a bit of rice? PP suggestion of claiming to have a dodgy tummy might work if so.

Just tell her you’re pregnant.

I would just tell her. Say you’re really looking forward to seeing her but don’t feel up to curry.

Tricky situation, you might have to come clean and tell your mum your pregnant. When I was in the grip of morning sickness I couldn't bear the smell of any food, curry or otherwise 😕

I feel like I need to make a decision soon too as we would need to get dinner at home sorted. Argh!
Also I don't know if my mum has paid a deposit to the restaurant.

Tell her you're not feeling well. Depending how bad you're feeling either don't go or just stick to chips. Most curry places I know do omelette and chips for some reason.

If you don't want to tell her you're pregnant I wouldn't invite her to yours. She'll notice you're not drinking etc.
You could say you have Covid or a sickness bug and not see her at all. Then make up for it with a meal out in the new year once she knows!

@inappropriateraspberry I don't really drink anyway so thankfully that's not given me away so far!

Eat beforehand and just have picky bits. It would be a lot easier if you just told her why though.

Tell her, she'll hopefully be a great support and the lovely news will lift everyone. You don't need the stress of not being honest or strong smells in a resteraunt so just confide in her. Then get DH to cook something you all agree on. Enjoy!

If you can't be in the restaurant because of sensitivity to curry smells, might there be somewhere different to go?
Your mother needs to know asap because arrangements, but pregnancy doesn't have to be mentioned at this point, a dodgy tummy would do and not even be a lie.
If she has paid a deposit, she might be able to use the money for a fab takeaway later on.

Are you close to your mum?

If so, sounds like your pregnancy news might be good to share.

Friends of ours are doing a chinese on Christmas Day and have paid £80 deposit each and then have to pay another £50 on the day each..

Surely if you cancel the table now she'll have to pay for it anyway?

The local Indian near me are doing a 3 course dinner for £55 each.

Just tell her you're pregnant, also bare in mind that restaurants smell very strongly so even if you decide to go and not eat you might end up vomiting on walking in...
been there done that!

We speak every few weeks and maybe see each other every couple of months. So not super close close but she'd be there in a heartbeat if I needed her and vice versa.

I'd tell her. No way I could have been in the room with curry at 7 weeks.

Could you manage chicken tikka/tandoori off the bone and get it with rice/chips and salad. You can choose any sauce to go with it meaning you could just use a tiny bit. You could get a yoghurt mint sauce dip/mango chutney and poppadoms too if you fancied them, to settle your stomach.

Just tell your mum.

Would you tell her if you had a miscarriage? If so, unless there are other compelling reasons not to, I'd just tell her about the pregnancy and if your DH cooking xmas dinner at your house is a workable solution for all then that's great.

Or, don't tell her about the pregnancy and just tell her that you guys will host.

Or if you can't stomach that op I'd just tell your Mum and cancel. I'm sure she'll more than understand.

Tell her - she'll guess if you don't.

Why wouldn't you tell her you're pregnant? If the worst was to happen I'm sure you'd want her support so it makes sense (from what I can see) to not tell her.

*doesnt