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AIBU?

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Original poster

Pushchair fight on bus

720 replies

Partygal · 19/12/2022 22:25

After picking my child up from her child minder today, I arrived the bus stop to find two women with buggies waiting.

Knowing that the driver wouldn’t let three of us on, I walked round the corner to the previous stop and got on there.

When it arrived at the next stop, sure enough only mum was allowed on - the other was told to wait 30 minutes for the next bus. I was screamed at and called a cunt and a queue jumper by one mum who tried to shove me off the bus.

I don’t think I did anything wrong, nor did the police when they turned up after being called by the driver.

What the fuck is wrong with people?

OP posts:
Notanotherone6 · 20/12/2022 08:17

No, no you weren't.

FabFitFifties · 20/12/2022 08:18

Selfish/mean behaviour OP. Did the whole bus get held up because of this? I wouldn't brag about this in real life - people will, at least secretly, think less of you.

ArmWrestlingWithChasNDave · 20/12/2022 08:21

Meh, no sympathy for any of you since none of you folded. You're all as selfish as each other.

randomsabreuse · 20/12/2022 08:21

Do modern buses actually have somewhere to put a folded buggy? It's not like there's a luggage rack any more so if you fold the buggy you're now holding baby, shopping and buggy which isn't exactly easy... I was a sling person so I never really noticed in detail but modern buses don't look very practical for "stuff" unlike the old inaccessible ones.

For what it's worth I'd absolutely go back along a route I knew to get to a quieter stop - and the option was also open to the other mums but they chose not to...

AnotheBloodyChinHair · 20/12/2022 08:23

You chose not to fold your pushchair? Deplorable behaviour on your part, OP.

Museya15 · 20/12/2022 08:25

Lockheart · 20/12/2022 07:39

So when someone walks past the crowd of people who don't move down the tube platform so they can get to the end of the platform and a quiet carriage to get on / get a seat, is that queue jumping?

If you know temporary traffic lights are screwing up one road and you take another to get around them instead of sitting in traffic, is that queue jumping?

If there is an empty checkout in a shop but everyone's queuing at the more convenient one on the other side of the shop and you use the empty one, is that queue jumping?

If you know where the train stops so you wait in a free spot where you know the door will be even though there are others dotted about the platform, is that queue jumping?

But if there's enough space as you say on these trains, everyone will get on. She went to another bus stop in full knowledge, one of those mum's (standing in the queue in the freezing cold before she arrived) would not get on. She's a CF.

Lockheart · 20/12/2022 08:30

Museya15 · 20/12/2022 08:25

But if there's enough space as you say on these trains, everyone will get on. She went to another bus stop in full knowledge, one of those mum's (standing in the queue in the freezing cold before she arrived) would not get on. She's a CF.

Show quote history

A) I didn't say there was enough space on those trains, it's a hypothetical scenario but often trains and tubes in London are very crowded.

B) She didn't preclude anyone getting on, the other mothers could have walked and / or collapsed the buggies (as OP should also have done IMO) so they could get on.

C) I've already asked this in another post, but what freezing cold? Monday in the UK was very very mild across the board.

whumpthereitis · 20/12/2022 08:34

FabFitFifties · 20/12/2022 08:18

Selfish/mean behaviour OP. Did the whole bus get held up because of this? I wouldn't brag about this in real life - people will, at least secretly, think less of you.

Some will and some won’t, but either way I’m not sure why that should particularly bother OP.

Tinkerbyebye · 20/12/2022 08:34

Sorry but you are a bit of an arsehole. You knew they were waiting and why couldn’t you do the decent thing and fold your pushchair? Had you done that and the two others you would have all got on

you ask what’s wrong with people? It’s people like you

Tonty · 20/12/2022 08:35

JoyBeorge · 20/12/2022 07:56

Strangely people managed for generations before buggies.

Show quote history

Strangely, people managed before buses too Hmm.

MaryBennetsBook · 20/12/2022 08:36

Some buggies don’t fold FYI

TrashyPanda · 20/12/2022 08:38

The answer is to increase the adaptable spaces (e.g. flip-up/flip-down seats) so that there is more space available for both wheelchair users and pushchair users

during busy times, these spaces will be full of standing passengers. The bus driver cannot turf these people off the bus to let a buggy on.

TrashyPanda · 20/12/2022 08:40

Stravaig · 20/12/2022 07:53

What the fuck is wrong with people?

Yes, what is wrong with you, OP?

Why on earth wouldn't you facilitate a solution where all three mothers with young children are able to get on the bus, out of the cold, and safely on their way home. Like folding down one or more of the buggies. Which is clearly the responsibility of the person who oh so sneakily got on the bus first i.e. you!

It’s the responsibility of the person wishing to get on a bus with an occupied buggy space.

bigbluebus · 20/12/2022 08:41

Isn't that called using your initiative?
When I started Secondary school, my friend and I used to run to the far end of town where the bus started from so we could get a seat . Those who went to the stop nearest the school had to stand. Although I will say we did give up our seats to any adults in need - which is what we were taught to do back in the day.

Both of the other mothers were free to do what you did. They had no way of knowing if the bus spaces would already have been occupied when the bus reached their stop regardless of what the OP did. It's the luck of the draw.

As an adult I still go to the 1st bus stop in town to catch the park and ride bus before it fills up at later stops.

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 20/12/2022 08:42

You were smart and bothered to walk back a stop, I see nothing wrong, I'd do the same.

Rubyupbeat · 20/12/2022 08:43

I'm from the days when you had to fold your pushchair, so don't understand why people don't fold now, especially if it's to help others. The pushchairs nowadays are much easier to fold too

user1473878824 · 20/12/2022 08:44

I’m the knob who hasn’t RTFT but I’m so annoyed by “no way was I folding after that”. You knew they were waiting and should have folded it as soon as you got on. The moral high ground seems pretty low.

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 20/12/2022 08:46

I used to drive to the train station further away to ensure I got a seat on my morning commute to work, I did this for years. Next stop along was like a rugby scrum and all seats would be taken. Stop I got on at was quiet and there was never a question over whether I'd get a seat. Using your initiative.

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 20/12/2022 08:52

Rubyupbeat · 20/12/2022 08:43

I'm from the days when you had to fold your pushchair, so don't understand why people don't fold now, especially if it's to help others. The pushchairs nowadays are much easier to fold too

They really aren't, if you have a pram with a carrycot and a small baby it's physically impossible. I'd need 2 hands just to take the pram apart, it doesn't fold small and add bags I'm not sure how you'd do this? Even with a baby who can stand unaided it'd be impossible to take the pram down and hold onto your child near a road. Unless you have a 3 year old and an umbrella fold it really isn't easy to take a pram down and board the bus with a baby.

FloydWasACat · 20/12/2022 08:53

What was to stop the other Mum's going to the earlier bus stop, and why couldn't they fold their prams too?

I have had to always use buses, people, in my experience help each other.

susiesuelou · 20/12/2022 08:54

OhChristmasTreeOhChristmasTreeFaLaLa · 20/12/2022 08:42

You were smart and bothered to walk back a stop, I see nothing wrong, I'd do the same.

This! They could have easily done the same, they chose not to 🤷‍♀️

It's not a crime to choose a different bus stop and walk to it. It is however a crime to verbally and physically abuse people in public, so she was completely in the wrong!

questionaboutmarriage · 20/12/2022 08:58

Ifailed · 20/12/2022 08:13

OP didn't queue jump, she left one longer queue and walked to a shorter queue.

This! It's like the equivalent of joining a queue in Aldi at the checkout, quickly scanning the other queues and seeing there's fewer people, changing your mind and walking to another checkout, getting through it before someone in the other queue at the original checkout you chose, and being verbally abused by them for "queue jumping" Confused

No, OP just went for a different option which she knew would work better for her, which was equally open to the other passengers. Fair play.

Talaforniababe · 20/12/2022 08:58

Really lazy and selfish not to fold your buggy. You acted provocatively.

mam0918 · 20/12/2022 09:00

Unless one of you had a newborn or little baby (one with no muscle control yet) then I dont think any of you should be allowed on with prams up frankly.

I have seen many a wheelchair user have to sit for HOURS in the cold/rain at the hospital station because busses where 'full' (filled at the standard station down the road) but where actually just packed with lazy mothers who won't mildly inconvenience themselves to fold their prams down and hold their child so the person who has no other choice about the matter can board.

The sense of entitlement around prams on busses is cringey (prams are lifestyle choices not something your entitled to inconveniance others with) and yes I have seen women fight like the OP describes and bus drivers have too get involved too.

Q2C4 · 20/12/2022 09:00

@JoyBeorge they managed for years too without penicillin, central heating, electricity etc....
If you're taking a baby out you need a nappy bag inc a change of clothes and a rain cover for the pram in case it rains. Many mothers also need to take a cool bag for bottles. That lot alone fills most of a pram basket. Where do you put that lot when you fold a buggy?