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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

I know IABU, blatantly using this for traffic. Emergency situation, no ambulance still, and need advice

765 replies

TheChinkOfaGlass · 19/12/2022 16:35

Hi everyone

My Auntie had a fall this morning and has seriously hurt her hip. Luckily she was close enough to the bed to get herself up on it.

999 said it is not an emergency and to contact 111, she was in severe agony and is 78 years old. I rang 111 who after assessing her, decided she did indeed need an ambulance.

I had originally offered to take her to the hospital but she lives on the top floor of a maisonette, and is unable to sit up (so a car journey would be no good and I would be unable to carry her to the car anyway. I did get help but she declined due to the inability to even sit up).

Her husband is disabled so isn't much use (I mean this in the nicest possible way, he is trying his best) other than keeping an eye on her.

So we could be waiting hours for an ambulance but in the meantime she is soaked through on the bed due to urinating on herself. I am going there in the next 30 minutes.

Is it safe to roll her to change the sheets to make her more comfortable? I don't like the idea of her lying in a soaking bed while she waits. I am also scared of causing more pain/damage by moving her. We do not know what's wrong, she thinks it may he her hip. I just don't know what to do. I have never experienced this kind of thing.

Her partner has managed to change her underwear but when the bed is so wet, it wouldn't really make a difference.

OP posts:
justgettingthroughtheday · 20/12/2022 15:59

I'd try the fire brigade or mountain rescue at their point and just see if they would assist in safely getting her down the stairs. Both will have stretchers I would have thought.

Worth a shot! The worst they can say is no!

meetmynewusername · 20/12/2022 16:01

Oh this is shocking.

Would it be worth calling the police or fire brigade? Obviously not for the medical side but for help to transport her?

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:04

Pearfacebanana · 20/12/2022 15:42

I am horrified for you and I really hope she will be ok and sorted soon. Mountain rescue sounds like an option at this point. I would also start emailing some heads of trust and cc-ing their Comms teams and press at this point.

I had the misfortune to need urgent care yesterday for my daughter.

  • 40 min triage call by 111 (it's really quite simple she has a chest infection, can't get in with GP)
  • sent to urgent care on a pre booked appt
  • waiting time at urgent care is 7 hours
  • luckily we waited 2 hours as pre booked
  • told by GP at urgent care she doesn't seem that bad - come back tomorrow - are you having a laugh!
  • booked private GP appointment today and told we should have automatically been given anti biotics due to current strep A risk and the threshold for prescribing has been reduced at present nationally.

Now I recognise my situation is no where near as bad as many on here. But I saw enough to see how broken it all is.

  • why have we got qualified nurses spending 40+ mins on a phone call when they could see several people in that time?
  • why have we got GPs in an urgent care centre and privately online?
  • if the staff were actually in an old fashioned surgery would that not help??

The 40 min triage call isn't usually a nurse? Are you sure that's who you spoke to?

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:05

OP I'd say call the press but it's about whether you all, esp auntie, can cope wuth the intrusion.

PrawnofthePatriarchy · 20/12/2022 16:06

Your poor aunty - and you! I find your story very frightening, as I'm looking after my mum who's over 90 and I'm dreading the thought that we might need a ambulance and not be able to get one. I'm hoping your situation will resolve soon.

Several members of my family have health conditions that have previously required an ambulance, so the thought that the service is in such a bad way is alarming.

closingscore · 20/12/2022 16:06

Jesus OP. I've just clicked on this thread hoping to read that your aunt is safely in hospital, this is absolutely shocking.

IncessantNameChanger · 20/12/2022 16:07

If I thought she was going to die anyway I'd get neighbours to move her in sheets like they do in war zones. Depends though if she wants to die at home or possibly on route in pain.

What shitty choices. If it was a younger person or child I'd give up and just try to move them.

Theunamedcat · 20/12/2022 16:08

I'm sorry are you still there?

IncessantNameChanger · 20/12/2022 16:08

She is going to have a very poor outcome now. Bed sores and muscle wastage from not moving

meetmynewusername · 20/12/2022 16:11

IncessantNameChanger · 20/12/2022 16:08

She is going to have a very poor outcome now. Bed sores and muscle wastage from not moving

Can you get bed sores and muscle wastage after 24h?

I think it’s better to be hopeful about the situation for all concerned!

Sparklfairy · 20/12/2022 16:12

IncessantNameChanger · 20/12/2022 16:07

If I thought she was going to die anyway I'd get neighbours to move her in sheets like they do in war zones. Depends though if she wants to die at home or possibly on route in pain.

What shitty choices. If it was a younger person or child I'd give up and just try to move them.

I'd be going round neighbours now, even if they're not strong enough to help they might call relatives/friends who are.

Francisca459 · 20/12/2022 16:21

Honeyroar - Thanks for your comment and that's very interesting what you were told. I know we took a risk but our neighbour would have died. Since that happened last week a few of us have bought a stretcher and one of those board things from Amazon and put them in the community hall. Honestly anyone who can - get yourself prepared including first aid supplies. This situation is not a one-off.

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:21

meetmynewusername · 20/12/2022 16:11

Can you get bed sores and muscle wastage after 24h?

I think it’s better to be hopeful about the situation for all concerned!

Show quote history

She's 89, her skin and musculature are already fragile.

agree re neighbours but guessing OP has contacted everyone she can.

Schlaar · 20/12/2022 16:21

meetmynewusername · 20/12/2022 16:11

Can you get bed sores and muscle wastage after 24h?

I think it’s better to be hopeful about the situation for all concerned!

Show quote history

Lying in one position without moving for hours on end cuts off the blood supply to the muscle. Like when your leg goes to sleep, but for hours and hours. The muscle will die and even if the patient has surgery on the bone, they still won’t be able to walk because of the muscle loss. Then the dead muscle starts to break down and releases large amounts of potassium into the bloodstream, which severely affects the liver and kidneys. The condition is called Rhabdomyolysis and it can be fatal.

Schlaar · 20/12/2022 16:23

Sparklfairy · 20/12/2022 16:12

I'd be going round neighbours now, even if they're not strong enough to help they might call relatives/friends who are.

Show quote history

You will find that even if you get her to hospital somehow, they won’t have a bed for her. Usually the patient has to lie in the ambulance for however long it takes to get a bed (this is what’s causing the delays in the first place). If she doesn’t have an ambulance to lie in they will send you home because they have nowhere else to put her.

Grinchatchristmas2022 · 20/12/2022 16:24

You had multiple people 'in the know' advising you that in whatever way possible you would need to get her to A&E yourself ASAP. Over 24 hours later and she is still on the floor. Ridiculous!

Listen to the people that are working for the service!!

The arrogance of these people is beyond.

Schlaar · 20/12/2022 16:25

TheChinkOfaGlass · 20/12/2022 14:22

Still no ambulance or technicians. Ambulance strike tomorrow. If that means another 48 hour wait, I don't think she will survive

At this point I’d call back and say you think she’s stopped breathing. Yes I know you don’t feel comfortable about lying. Are your morals more important than her life?

Pearfacebanana · 20/12/2022 16:26

@EmmaAgain22 yep her opening words were "I'm a qualified nurse"

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:27

Schlaar · 20/12/2022 16:23

You will find that even if you get her to hospital somehow, they won’t have a bed for her. Usually the patient has to lie in the ambulance for however long it takes to get a bed (this is what’s causing the delays in the first place). If she doesn’t have an ambulance to lie in they will send you home because they have nowhere else to put her.

Show quote history

But they will have pain relief...

UseAMuckySock · 20/12/2022 16:27

Schlaar · 20/12/2022 16:25

At this point I’d call back and say you think she’s stopped breathing. Yes I know you don’t feel comfortable about lying. Are your morals more important than her life?

Show quote history

Well she might stop breathing if she suffers internal bleeding from a broken bone. Bloody ridiculous leaving her this long (that’s aimed at ambulance OP, not you.

if it was my grandma I’d say she was having chest pains.

EmmaAgain22 · 20/12/2022 16:28

Pearfacebanana · 20/12/2022 16:26

@EmmaAgain22 yep her opening words were "I'm a qualified nurse"

Wow, so they wasted her time too.

crazy. Hope your DD is better.

peridito · 20/12/2022 16:29

@Schlaar Lying in one position without moving for hours on end cuts off the blood supply to the muscle. Like when your leg goes to sleep, but for hours and hours. The muscle will die
Is there any action that a layperson in a position like this (immobile ,waiting for help) can take to minimise this happening.?

AtrociousCircumstance · 20/12/2022 16:31

OP whereabouts are you? Maybe some local mumsnetters can help in some way.

JuneOsborne · 20/12/2022 16:32

Who is being arrogant, not sure I understand your post. If you mean the op and her disabled and elderly uncle, are you for real? How is one woman meant to get another person with no mobility and a potentially broken hip down 3 flights of stairs?

If you mean the other posters, they're trying to help.

And, she's in a bed. Not on the floor.

Elphame · 20/12/2022 16:35

LadyWithLapdog · 20/12/2022 14:38

@Elphame if you really want to bring politics into it, and obviously you do, have a look at the shitshow the Tories have done with the NHS, austerity and poverty over the past 12 years, whilst lining their mates’ pockets with nice ‘contracts’.

I suggest that you look at Labour's track record in Wales when it comes to the NHS. It makes far worse reading. Betsi Cadwaladr has an appalling track record going back decades. If anything it's got worse since it was released from special measures during covid. Neighbours of ours opted to be treated in Liverpool rather than risk Bangor.

Money is thrown at the NHS constantly but never ends up where it's needed at the sharp end - it all seems to disappear into non jobs like that director of lived experience.

My heart breaks for the OP and her aunt. They are the victims in all this.