To ask family to not post photos of child online

[OptimusPrime31]

I'm about to be a ftm and my family in law are very active on Facebook and social media. I feel that privacy is very important and don't like the idea that my baby's childhood will be all over social media. Aibu to ask family not to post pictures online as I feel that if my child wants all those pictures publicly available they can decide that themselves when they are older.
My dh understands where I'm coming from but doesn't feel as strongly about it as I do.
I know I won't be able to ask that everything is taken off but limited would be appreciated.

Yabu= let them post what they want. It's not worth the agro.
Yanbu= tell them how you feel

My family, who are generally very poor at following instructions did comply with my request not to post my dd all over their socials. I hope your family do the same.

2 of my siblings dont mind if i put photos of there children on facebook but only to ‘limited audience’ but iv only got family / Very close friends on there anyway

1 of my siblings request no photos of his child and that is ofcourse is 100% fine, i never put any of her on there.
Its his child, his decision

When it comes to YOUR child YANBU.

I don't think they have reasonable grounds to object as long as you don't post photos either. If you apply it as a blanket policy then it makes more sense.

I think YABU and precious. It’s a photo.

Thanks for your honesty. It's good to hear both points of view

My dgd is 9, I very active on social media but have never posted a photo of her, much as I'm love to, as her mother does not want me to

It's entirely reasonable to say you don't want pictures of your child on SM. Some people do seem to live through their social media accounts so might need more reminding.

Others will ignore you which means your only option then would be to limit their contact with your child or physically stop them taking photos.

Also keep in mind (for when your child is older) that in group situations, your child may be asked to step away for a moment while a photo for SM is taken. As long as you explain to your child why it shouldn't be a problem.

Mine are 20s and teen now, and I know it was less common then, but we had a blanket ban on it . None of the GPS were interested in social media so it wasn’t a huge deal but I would have held firm if they had been.
I think it is very important for people to be able to have control over what images of them are online - to me, uploading or allowing images of Dc all over social media is removing an aspect of their autonomy and that sits uneasily with me.

Mine are also in their teens now and appreciate that their privacy was protected during childhood. I don’t post any images of them without asking their permission, to model the respect that I hope they will expect from others and show to others.

YANBU. I always ask my dil if I can repost a pic she has put on fb of my gc.

She has never refused, but she hasn’t asked me not to post pics either. I very rarely post on SM anyway but I definitely wouldn’t post pics of family members without their consent.

Something to be aware of - once your child is at school it's basically impossible to avoid your child's image from appearing online. Nativities, assemblies etc - your child will almost certainly be stood next to another child whose parent puts pics on fb so you basically do have to just accept it then. I made my peace with this as my child is obviously not naked and nor is the focus of the photo. But I just wanted to warn you it's impossible to remain in full control.

We asked before our daughter was born for no pics on social media. I think they thought it was a bit odd and they were sad to not be able to share pics but they went with it. My mum has a photo up of her with our daughter as a newborn but just her feet(baby's, not my mums haha) which we were fine with.

Named not naked!!! Stupid autocorrect!!!

All the people I know post pics of their kids. I post pics of my son and don't mind other people who post of my son.

Its your choice and others should respect that , the same as people should respect those that choose to , rather than the sly comments
I have a few of my kids when younger etc , can't see a job in future looking them up and they couldn't anyway as my profile is private
I always made sure school jumpers etc were logo covered
Team sporting events i have always asked if taking a team photo and posting if other parents are ok

I'm dreading this. And surprised, honestly. When I was growing up it was the default to not be allowed to take photos/videos of things like nativities for safety reasons. There were lots of grumbles about 'how ridiculous it is these days you can't even film a nativity'. I'm amazed schools don't have a blanket policy that only they can take photos/record the kids. I know it's inevitable and the time will come but for me it's such a taboo to put a photo of another child online, I was shocked to learn some people don't see it that way and have no qualms about it.

Another parent at our child's nursery took the photo that was sent to them of their kid (with five other babies clearly visible in the background) and put it on their public social media page with hundreds of views/likes/comments. Utterly appalling. It's the only time my toddler's face has been online (to my knowledge of course), and on some stranger's page.

In our case it is blanket: we don't and we ask others not to too. But I don't think it's wrong at all for it to be a case where parents put their own child online but ask others too. After all, the parents are in control of who sees the image, privacy settings, their friend list. If others put images online there is none of that control and it could be shared anywhere and seen by anyone.

YANBU but if you post any photos online, you'll be seen as a hypocrite so start as you mean to go on.

I have the same rule - my mum took a bit of gentle persuasion but there were no hard feelings.

We share via a Whatsapp family group and a google drive folder

This is a huge safeguarding of risk for many children, but from a facial recognition/data collection perspective, an untagged group shot like this is less of an issue. There will be no bank of photos to make the connection between, no child’s name, no way of identifying the child and linking them to a profile.

People absolutely should not be giving their child’s privacy away with posts of ‘Lil man enjoying his babyccino’, ‘arlo having fun at the beach!!!’ or ‘happy birthday Lily rose Chapman, 6 today!’ because they might be in the back of a nativity shot one day.

There is absolutely no good reason to post your kid’s image online. None. It all comes down to flexing or boasting on social media- absolutely poor reasons to give data companies your child’s image from day 0.

Yeah my sister did this, she posted our baby's photo online before she or anyone else had even met him (I'd sent her a photo). I had to ask her to take it off. We don't put photos on social media really but once I did put a photo on of my son from behind so you could only see the back of his head. She then took it as a green light to put more photos on! Had to have yet another word. She also put on photos from one of his birthday parties!

So you are about to be a ftm to a pfb
There'll be more to sweat about than a photo
HTH