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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

For not cooking a roast in these circumstances?

66 replies

MyGhastIsFlabbered · 18/12/2022 18:32

I've been ill for nearly 2 weeks now - nothing major just a nasty cough and cold with a fever that I just can't shift. I feel bloody lousy. My appetite has disappeared and I've not eaten all day.

DH meanwhile went off and ran a marathon today. He's come back, obviously tired and cold, but is pissed off with me for not cooking the roast. I did prep all the veg but that was about my limit. He's thumping around the kitchen muttering under his breath.

AIBU to just let him crack on with it...given that the marathon was his choice, being ill isn't mine?

OP posts:
jay55 · 18/12/2022 18:32

Yup, go to bed and leave him to it.

billy1966 · 18/12/2022 18:34

What a selfish twit.

I think you need to take an extended break from cooking.

The cheek of him.

Ignore him completely.

Catmum2022 · 18/12/2022 18:34

Couldn’t you have just popped both in the oven and left them for him to sort?

OutofControl3 · 18/12/2022 18:34

Leave him to it! I'm poorly and dp bought everyone a takeaway as he knew I wouldn't want to cook but everyone still wants food. Hopevuou feel better soon x

ilovepixie · 18/12/2022 18:40

Is it not a bit late to start cooking a roast? What time will it be ready?

Thehonestbadger · 18/12/2022 18:41

That’s the crux of it ‘running a marathon is a choice being unwell is not’

you’ve done nothing wrong

TheLightSideOfTheMoon · 18/12/2022 18:43

Toby Carvery do takeaway now.

Tell him to put his running shoes back on and sprint out to collect it.

Tonysopranosghost · 18/12/2022 18:43

What a prick. Could have not have picked up a take out roast dinner for you both on his way home?

hmmmintereting · 18/12/2022 18:45

No, you're not unreasonable and I can't imagine anyone is going to think so, which leads me to ask; what is it you want from this thread, everyone to slag off your husband?

mackthepony · 18/12/2022 18:45

Who is he to huff and puff about you not doing it? He could have skipped running a marathon and stayed home and cooked a roast? Why's it your responsibility?

whiteroseredrose · 18/12/2022 18:49

Definitely YANBU. As a PO said, the marathon was a choice, illness wasn't.

Original poster
MyGhastIsFlabbered · 18/12/2022 18:51

hmmmintereting · 18/12/2022 18:45

No, you're not unreasonable and I can't imagine anyone is going to think so, which leads me to ask; what is it you want from this thread, everyone to slag off your husband?

No not at all, but he's very good at making me feel guilty over all sorts and I've begun to doubt myself.

OP posts:
user1496146479 · 18/12/2022 18:51

I'd have rather stuck the meat in the oven than prep the veg. Then leave him to it!
Get some rest OP

Inkyblue123 · 18/12/2022 18:54

hot Bath, bed and Netflix. He can sort himself out, he’s a big boy.

Readaboutyourself · 18/12/2022 18:54

Urgh marathon runners

FourChimneys · 18/12/2022 18:56

How weird. I have never cooked a roast in nearly 35 years of happy marriage.

Why didn't your DH prepare something yesterday that he could quickly warm up when he was back? Why is it your job to provide meals, especially when you are ill?

Get better soon, and when you are, have a serious chat about expectations.

Dillydollydingdong · 18/12/2022 18:57

Why is it always the wife's responsibility to cook Sunday dinner? My dp cooked ribeye steak with chips and mushrooms today 😋

DeadbeatYoda · 18/12/2022 19:04

Did you ask him to run a marathon? No? Then let him get on with his muttering. No fucks given!

Dacadactyl · 18/12/2022 19:08

I am curious how you respond to him when he starts banging about and making a fuss about it?

If my husband went off for a run while knowing I was ill and then came back moaning I'd not cooked a roast, i would start a row with him 100%.

What happens in your household?

ChristmasJingleBalls · 18/12/2022 19:11

Tell him to fuck off and cook his own bloody roast if he wants one.

Does he expect a roast every weekend ?

Mummieslncorporated · 18/12/2022 19:15

No way I would be cooking a roast after running 26 miles.

Maybe instead of starting making a meal that you couldn't finish, you should just have left it and one of you could have ordered a takeaway or popped for a ready meal. I wouldn't fancy coming home completely knackered to be expected to finish making a meal that someone else chose to start making.

I think you are both being a bit u.

lieselotte · 18/12/2022 19:15

If you've prepped the veg there isn't much else for him to do! How difficult can i to be to pop a chicken in the oven and cook the veg once it comes out.

Not forgetting roast potatoes of course, but they're not difficult either.

Marathon or not, he can cope!

Dacadactyl · 18/12/2022 19:16

OP...tell me you don't expect him to cook the roast now? Surely he's just gonna drive to the chippy?!

pelargoniums · 18/12/2022 19:19

Why is anybody attempting a roast dinner when one person is poorly and the other ran a marathon? Takeaway or freezer food. He’s BU for muttering instead of just ordering a curry or whatever.

Pearl664 · 18/12/2022 19:22

We need to know more. Did you say you'd cook a roast and he was expecting it? You prepped the veg but didn't put the meat in the oven?

You're feeling rubbish and he's knackered. Running a marathon is a big achievement and it seems a shame if you're on bad terms. Just order a takeaway or have cheese on toast or something.