Seriously, f*ck Christmas!

[Eurydice84]

• I am working until Xmas eve. My entire family is staying over, but my Mum/Dad/bro refused to babysit when I will working because "they're too tired"
• DH and I are doing all the cooking. Every. Single. Year.
• No one drives so I will be the official chaffeur for the holidays
• I have been wrapping up presents for two weekends in a row
• I spent an entire day making a gingerbread house yesterday and it has v predictably collapsed on itself
• Pre-school party tomorrow, of course in the middle of the working day
• Just got soaked to the bone delivering Xmas cards around the village

Hitting the Bailey's hard today. How is this the most wonderful time of the year?

Don't do it then. No one's holding a gun to your head.

Why are you putting up with this situation? It sounds awful.

Uninvited your user relatives. Now.

Make this the last year you host everyone. Next year, have Christmas by yourselves.

Other than working, you are choosing to do all of this. Make some different choices, or stop complaining

This! And cut back the amount of stuff you buy.

This.
Don't do this to yourself. If people won't help, stop inviting them.

Why are you putting yourself through all of this? It's not compulsory.

Well you’re a bit of a martyr if you invite all your family who seem to be an unhelpful bunch. Next year say you aren’t hosting and go away/ visit your in laws for / say you are too tired and will see the family on boxing day for a walk.

Tell them.

Tell them you're not feeding them and you're not a free taxi service.

If they don't listen, then Christmas lunch is beans on toast with no alcohol.

It’s not Christmas that’s the problem, it’s you family.. Why are you letting them use you as their unpaid servant? Don’t let them do this to you again.
Refusing to even babysit for you is incredibly nasty. It’s to like you’re asking them to do anything strenuous.

Don't invite them in future, make it just you, your DH and kids, so you won't be made to feel like this again. Or tell them it's someone else's turn to host next year.

I wouldn't be inviting them in the future unless they start pulling their fingers out.

1. tell your parents/bro etc, if they can’t help babysit then they will have to arrive on Christmas Day.
2. do the cooking. Help is most usually useless. Get the help when clearing the table, washing up etc.
3. How are your family getting to your house? Where are you planning to drive? Have a drink, apologise and tell them to book an Uber.
4. Everyone spends too much time wrapping. Get the ironing board in front if you, obviously down low, Christmas tunes on, DH helping. He can write tags, cut sellotape etc. It’s not a hard job if you’re organised.
5. your choice to make a gingerbread house. Nobodies fault it collapsed. The one I made with my stepdaughter came out for way too many years. It’s just another piece of tat, but it was your choice.
6. Can’t help with that. Who normally delivers your child to pre school?
7. quit delivering cards. Waste of time, effort, money and resources.
8. relax, enjoy Christmas and don’t sweat the small stuff. Take help when it’s offered. Ask for help if you need and don’t be afraid to have fun.

You seriously don't have to martyr yourself on the altar of Christmas. Tell everyone they need to pull their weight or go home

Honestly, this is your own fault for allowing it to happen. If they are too tired to help you out with babysitting, then why aren't you too tired to cook and ferry them around?
Christmas is still a week away - send them all a text message saying that due to unforeseen issues, you are unable to host and they will have to make other arrangements. They still have time to nip to Tesco and buy food!
Or if you are up to it, tell the truth - you are fed up if working your arse off for people who cba to help you a bit.

If you do what you've always done, you'll get what you've always got!

Sorry just adding to the voice of stop inviting them. Maybe they’ll invite you. Maybe they won’t. Either way you won’t be hosting.

I absolutely love Christmas. I do it the way I want. If DH wants to invite his family then he organises. Im happy to help him. But I’m not taking charge of the mental load.

Wow- if they do t babysit while you’re hosting and cooking for them bin then off. I dislike conflict but even I would point out to them how unfair this is and say if they’re not going to help they can stay away.

Sorry OP but a lot of this is being brought on yourself needlessly

My entire family is staying over, but my Mum/Dad/bro refused to babysit when I will working because "they're too tired"
We aren't having anyone staying this year, have a a lovely Christmas

DH and I are doing all the cooking. Every. Single. Year
You are welcome for lunch but everyone needs to contribute, please bring xxx

No one drives so I will be the official chaffeur for the holidays
I won't be playing taxi this year, you'll need to make your own way here

I spent an entire day making a gingerbread house yesterday and it has v predictably collapsed on itself
Pointless effort, no one cares about a gingerbread house

Just got soaked to the bone delivering Xmas cards around the village
No one cares about cards, just don't do it

All of it avoidable and solvable

So much great advice on this thread.

Just un invite them. There's no compulsion to be walked over. They sound awful.

Why the hell are you doing it. I refuse absolutely to do it. I work 6 days a week and just don't have the time or more importantly the inclination. Send the lot of them packing.

I can't believe there are people who martyr themselves to the extent of spending hours making a fuckiny pointless gingerbread house!

YABU OP, because the problem is your family, and your inability to say no to them.

Oh op. Why are you being a martyr? Say No. Don’t host if you don’t want to. Don’t do the cooking if you don’t want to. Don’t drive people places. Just no. Enjoy your Christmas your way - you work hard all year, why put yourself through this shit?