Seriously, f*ck Christmas!

[Eurydice84]

• I am working until Xmas eve. My entire family is staying over, but my Mum/Dad/bro refused to babysit when I will working because "they're too tired"
• DH and I are doing all the cooking. Every. Single. Year.
• No one drives so I will be the official chaffeur for the holidays
• I have been wrapping up presents for two weekends in a row
• I spent an entire day making a gingerbread house yesterday and it has v predictably collapsed on itself
• Pre-school party tomorrow, of course in the middle of the working day
• Just got soaked to the bone delivering Xmas cards around the village

Hitting the Bailey's hard today. How is this the most wonderful time of the year?

Don't do it then

More fool you OP.

Are you my sister in law?
Thank you for describing this kind of person!

Why do you agree to it?

Don't drive them. They either stay over or get a taxi.
Next year just have family who live with you.

I used to invite my brother who would rise from bed when he could be arsed and not lift a finger

He alternates between various family and expects a feast.This year neither me or my sister have invited, infact haven't spoken to him in 3 months. I'll assume he's spending it with his new girlfriend.

My mother. Who ive not spoken to for 5 years may be on her own if my brother isn't going so i need to discreetly check somehow and I will have to invite her so she isn't on her own as its her first Christmas without my dad.

It will be a painful 3 days if she's here. For me 🤣

But i need to do the right thing 🤫

If you and your mother haven't spoken for five years, even after your father's death, why is this suddenly an obligation if she doesn't even contact you to ask?

Some people enjoy the martyrdom at Christmas - no one cares so don’t do it

I understand the need for a rant but don't understand that your family won't help with 5he children.

Personally my message would be that if they're too tired to help then you'll be too tired on Xmas day to cook.

Me and mine too, it's so nice and pressure free

Christmas martyrs are volunteers, so cut back on what you don't have to do.😉

Sounds like your Mum, Dad and Bro should F themselves to be honest they are taking the piss out of you and you are letting them

@ReneBumsWombats Aside from my brother that will happily use her for what he can take, none of my other siblings speak to her either and I can put my dislike of her to one side for a few days. She has a minor relationship with my 18 year old and I'd rather teach him to be the bigger person than to allow her to cry herself into oblivion over Christmas.
My dad died a few days after Christmas last year so she will be emotional.
She still can't have my phone number though 🤣

Wrapping presents for 2 weekends?

Time to reduce the buying

You’ve organised and agreed to everything on your list. School events often happen during the middle of the day, when you’re a working parent (like me) there’s nothing you can do about it and sometimes you just have to miss stuff. I missed my dd’s last nativity due to having to work. It’s life. The gingerbread house should’ve made you laugh, you sound Uber serious. Christmas is what you make it, you’ve made yours miserable.

Definitely this - even better, go away on holiday somewhere nice to escape 😎

It’s very easy to call the OP a martyr. But I don’t think it’s fair. She has fallen into this situation because she quite rightly did not expect her family to take advantage of her. Now that they have shown their true colours, the OP had 2 choices:

1. keep quiet, get on and suck it up - thereby avoiding an argument

2. call them out right away: I am catering/hosting and need some give and take because I am not running a hotel so I need you to do X,Y,Z. If they refuse, either they aren’t invited for Christmas again or you turf those pisstakers out.

Absolutely this! I haven't even ordered our Christmas dinner yet, I'm going to go to the supermarket/butchers some point this week and so can they. It's literally just making a roast (I do have my crackers in though!)

They are all CFs.

Don't do it next year. Why do you need your family to babysit while you're working? Is DH working too?

That sounds shitty and like you are being put on a bit. Could you go away for Xmas next year and have a lovely time in a hotel in opposed to being the one doing all the cooking, driving etc?

Take control of the situation and stop enabling everyone else. Once you stop trying to keep everyone else happy the rest of your life begins. Concentrate on your DH and DCs and fuck everyone else.

then don’t do Christmas like this.

uber everywhere. Make your parents pay for recompense for hosting Christmas.

write a list of who does what (ie: divvy up cooking tasks, who lays table who clears who washes up) and run through it with everyone tomorrow evening and stick it on the wall.

buy gift bags. stop using wrapping paper. It’s very environmentally unfriendly.

buy a pre made gingerbread house. Or don’t do them at all. There are plenty of other things you can do for tradition….

you’re doing and taking on too much. Downsize Christmas. It’s supposed to be fun.

last year I bought a frozen pre-stuffed turkey and some premade posh gravy and just roasted potatoes and bought a jar of ocean spray cranberry sauce….. no one knew any different and it was delicious. My best friend is a chef who trained with Alan Ducass.. he was none the wiser…

What’s going on with the manic gingerbread-house making & posting Christmas cards to all & sundry? It sounds like you’ve gone into Christmas hyperdrive.

Just stop it

Agree with this. Just have a quiet one next year, no guests.

My Christmas will NEVER go back to normal or my life or dc lives because we lost dh in thE middle of the pandemic .
so get away with your be more grateful blah blah.

that one day is one of the most heart breaking days we have to go through and it must be even worse for people who have lost dc

christmas is a bloody awful time for so many and if people don’t want to see people for whatever reason then don’t judge!

There's always the nuclear option 🤭