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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

DS drunk as a skunk

153 replies

KissMeUnderTheMistleThrush · 18/12/2022 00:44

I can't help but be angry with him even tho it's a Xmas do! He's 23 and been to town for Xmas food and drinks. He came home at 23.30, but has been out since 17.00!
He managed to get upstairs and laid on his bed face down.
He was then violently sick, he didn't even wake up or move.
I just keep thinking what would happen if he was laid on his back and was sick? There was so much vomit I think he would have choked🥺
I managed to roll him over (6ft 4!) Ro take the sheet off And he fell on the floor where he is now snoring heavily covered in a quilt.
Is he safe to leave like this? It flippin scared me, god knows what he's been drinking. Why do they do it??

OP posts:
Cas112 · 18/12/2022 11:59

We have all done it. Just advise him to be abit more careful. I don't think it warrants being 'angry' and posting on mumsnet

Athenen0ctua · 18/12/2022 12:04

Isthiscovid · 18/12/2022 11:51

Yes to this! I feel quite strongly about this . This really shouldn't be normal or "we've all done it!". I really haven't.

Show quote history

Exactly, many people would have never got into such a state. I hate that it is normalised.

I wonder if countries like Germany that have separate drinking ages for fermented and distilled beverages do any better. Do young people learn when to stop on beer and wine before they have easy access to spirits?

gliiterryballs · 18/12/2022 12:19

@PearlclutchersInc

In my family it got the point across that my mother was so annoyed that she was beyond communication.

How pathetic.

Adult conversation, with adult DC would be usually?

Annoyed beyond communication Hmm

mitsy5 · 18/12/2022 12:24

Yes I’d be a bit peed off at having to strip sheets etc and the general inconvenience of being up when you have an early start for work in the morning, but given the weather (where I am anyway) and the state he seemed to be in, I’d just be glad he’s home safe and sound.

mitsy5 · 18/12/2022 12:24

and not lying in the frost somewhere.

Dello · 18/12/2022 12:25

It’s dangerous and I’d be worried too. Hopefully he’ll feel awful tomorrow and learn from this.

LakieLady · 18/12/2022 12:31

He'll be fine, OP, apart from his hangover.

I'm a bit shocked that he's got so pissed he's puked everywhere at his age though, and after a mere 6 hours drinking. I've done some shocking things when pissed in my youth, but they haven't included inappropriate chundering since I was at school, when I projectile vomitted the entire length of the hall carpet.

gliiterryballs · 18/12/2022 12:35

@LakieLady

I'm a bit shocked that he's got so pissed he's puked everywhere at his age though, and after a mere 6 hours drinking.

I was able to do it in my 30s still.

Pothoswithasparkle · 18/12/2022 13:03

whynotwhatknot · 18/12/2022 11:57

nor have i

Show quote history

I never did too, but reached my limit in other ways. Everyone has some moment they did "aaand that was the limit😳". For him it should have been waking up in own vomit not just having hangover and worried mum.

Mercy1968 · 18/12/2022 13:34

All those saying leave him in it/get him to clean it up..would you like to do that when you feel like death? What does it achieve?

I m 54 so don't get in that state but I d hate to be left in my own vomit or made to clean it all up when I was so ill I d be even more sick.

A bit of compassion at the time means your kid will actually come home instead of staying out in dangerous circumstances. It's minus figures and snow/ ice out there at night. At least OP s son got home safely. You can have the conversation in the morning.

And I m not condoning heavy alcohol use but we all know what happens on Christmas/work nights out or just being young and reckless.

RampantIvy · 18/12/2022 14:55

Flowers @queenMab99

sparepantsandtoothbrush · 18/12/2022 16:16

LakieLady · 18/12/2022 12:31

He'll be fine, OP, apart from his hangover.

I'm a bit shocked that he's got so pissed he's puked everywhere at his age though, and after a mere 6 hours drinking. I've done some shocking things when pissed in my youth, but they haven't included inappropriate chundering since I was at school, when I projectile vomitted the entire length of the hall carpet.

It wasn't 6 hours though if you read the thread

The whole "we've all done it" is actually pathetic. I've not puked whilst practically unconscious. People really don't seem to get the seriousness of it

Also to the poster who's mother has normalised the silent treatment...it's not normal!

Original poster
KissMeUnderTheMistleThrush · 19/12/2022 19:08

No it wasn't 6 hours, more like 12.
He had no hangover, he never does! He was up and showered by 9.30 according to DH
He walked to the pub with DH and watched the cup final and drank coke.
I've told him how worried I was and how dangerous it was.
He gave me his credit card and asked me to buy him a new duvet and bedding which he's now put on his bed.
He has a party on Thursday which is at the pub, 7-midnight🤨

OP posts:
Cas112 · 19/12/2022 22:12

PearlclutchersInc · 18/12/2022 10:00

Just leave him in his own mess. He'll feel bad enough when he comes to.

The silent treatment will do the trick for the future.

Silent treatment is emotional manipulation and usually quiet common for abusers

I wouldn't do this OP it's awful

Original poster
KissMeUnderTheMistleThrush · 19/12/2022 22:39

I don't do silent treatment. My dad used to do it to us and it was horrible. I said my piece and we carried on as normal.

OP posts:
Christmasinbed · 19/12/2022 22:43

This is disgusting. I've no idea why people drink to excess like this. My friendship group never did it growing up. I'd be handing him his arse tomorrow.

LydiaBennetsUglyBonnet · 19/12/2022 22:50

Christmasinbed · 19/12/2022 22:43

This is disgusting. I've no idea why people drink to excess like this. My friendship group never did it growing up. I'd be handing him his arse tomorrow.

FGS he got drunk he didn’t commit a crime. What a massive over reaction.

Newmum738 · 20/12/2022 07:01

KissMeUnderTheMistleThrush · 19/12/2022 22:39

I don't do silent treatment. My dad used to do it to us and it was horrible. I said my piece and we carried on as normal.

I can't stand this either. My husband does this and I find it controlling. My parents taught me to have a row and move on.

labazslovesliving · 24/12/2022 17:31

Think we have all been there if honest. came home one night and my poor dog was asleep bottom the stairs as she always did and I vomited all over her. parents kicked me out and I slept in the shed!

AllOfThemWitches · 24/12/2022 17:35

It seems like OP's biggest worry was whether he would have choked on vomit had she not been there. Would that have happened?

As an aside, I'd be hungover for DAYS if I got that drunk. 😂

AllOfThemWitches · 24/12/2022 17:37

labazslovesliving · 24/12/2022 17:31

Think we have all been there if honest. came home one night and my poor dog was asleep bottom the stairs as she always did and I vomited all over her. parents kicked me out and I slept in the shed!

I once threw up out of my bedroom window all over the patio in the back garden. You can bet I was out there first thing ,with my hangover, scrubbing it clean.

Grantanow · 24/12/2022 18:10

Recovery position essential. Check from time to time he stays in the position.

JT12 · 24/12/2022 18:31

I would be furious as well. I used to do it myself and my mum was angry with me too. We get angry because we care and we worry and I think that’s okay. We can understand it’s something that happens but still not like it. Part of the reason we learn and modify behaviour is because we mature and learn not to hurt or embarrass ourselves or other people. If everything is seen as acceptable how would we learn to make good judgements

Nat6999 · 24/12/2022 18:58

I did it at the same age, but I made it to the toilet, my mum found me sat on the toilet shouting "Mummmmm stop the toilet looping the loop" I had drunk a full bottle of Bacardi, she made me go to work the morning after, I was a switchboard operator, not many calls got answered that day. It wasn't the last time, but I always managed to throw up before I got home, usually over the next door neighbour who we hated's front wall so I didn't get it on my shoes, she never found out it was me. It's a right of passage, I have never drunk Bacardi since.

Darlingx · 24/12/2022 22:35

I discovered my housemate at Uni lost her older brother when younger to him coming home drunk and choking on his vomit so your are right to be concerned at how drunk he is. Let’s hope he learns from feeling absolutely the worst hangover the morning after. Some have to test their drinking limits

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