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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To not want to go to parents in laws for Boxing Day?

57 replies

Isitt2023yet · 16/12/2022 20:47

They moved house this year and it’s absolutely freezing we visited this week and we all sat in one room with our coats and the log fire on. Their house only hits 16 and the central heating is rubbish. I really can’t bare the thought of spending the whole day there.

We are in a very small but (warm) new build so we can’t host that many people otherwise I would offer.

AIBU? Or am I just going to have to suck it up? I don’t do well with being cold at all.

OP posts:
Bellevu · 16/12/2022 20:57

Take an electric fan heater for your room.

FairFuming · 16/12/2022 21:02

Get those disposable.foot warmers you can pop inside your shoes and either a heated hoodie or a hot water bottle belt and you won't notice the cold

Lost123454 · 16/12/2022 21:03

How small is your house if you can't host two people?

Surely they don't have to stay the night too

LubaLuca · 16/12/2022 21:04

Do they acknowledge that it's cold? Just wondering if you could offer to take a heater to help make it more comfortable for everyone.

Oysterbabe · 16/12/2022 21:05

I would layer up and deal with it, but I would hate it.

HamBone · 16/12/2022 21:08

It's a few hours on one day. I'd wear layers and bring gloves - if you need to put them on in the living room, perhaps they'll get the message.😂 Bring a blanket and hot water bottle as well if you need to.

qpmz · 16/12/2022 21:10

Why don't you all meet up in a nice cosy pub? If you're not going to enjoy visiting your in laws, then delay it or think of something else. I wouldn't go and feel miserable.

poefaced · 16/12/2022 21:12

Yanbu, sounds miserable. Do they also give tiny portions?

If you do go, take an Oodie. The Tesco version was £13 today.

LubaLuca · 16/12/2022 21:16

Yanbu, sounds miserable. Do they also give tiny portions?

That's an unfair leap to make. The op said they moved into the house this year so they've only had one winter to try to work out how to make the house warm. Their heating is crap but they are using a log fire to try to make it more comfortable.

I'd assume they would rather it was warmer too, so the op might be able to take a heater to help out. Besides which it's going to be a lot milder by Christmas Day, so it won't be as chilly.

FaazoHuyzeoSix · 16/12/2022 21:17

it does sound miserable, but how much more miserable to live there full time!

get yourselves a couple of electric heated gillet jackets as an extra Christmas prezzie, and get a couple more to give to the PiLs.

it's horrible being too cold but even an unheated house is warmer than outdoors and you can manage being outdoors, you just dress appropriately.

besides, it's not going to be nearly as cold on boxing day as it is this week. it's set to be 10 degrees warmer by next week.

Awrite · 16/12/2022 21:21

I think I would agree to go but feign illness on the day. I'd meekly wave everyone off telling them to have a great time and not to worry about me.

HamBone · 16/12/2022 21:26

It’s a few hours! I find my in-laws house cold and uncomfortable as well, but I still go, because I’m part of the family. You’ll survive, OP, if you dress warmly.

I've had to put my foot down about staying overnight though as it’s so uncomfortable and we’re all ratty with no sleep, We stay in a hotel and spend the days with them.

UsingChangeofName · 16/12/2022 21:38

YABU.
You know in advance it is likely to be cooler than you'd like, so dress accordingly and take a shawl or fleece blanket each. Or, (or and) as others suggested, tak a heater with you.

girlmom21 · 16/12/2022 21:41

YABU. 16 degrees isn't particularly cold if you dress appropriately.

Original poster
Isitt2023yet · 16/12/2022 21:43

It’s not a few hours 😩

Its a second Christmas Day with all family members exchanging presents 12 of us in total. We leave in the morning takes over an hour and we won’t come back until the night.

I feel a bit cheeky taking a heater because their spending £25 a day on gas and electric and their house is still freezing.

OP posts:
hattie43 · 16/12/2022 21:47

qpmz · 16/12/2022 21:10

Why don't you all meet up in a nice cosy pub? If you're not going to enjoy visiting your in laws, then delay it or think of something else. I wouldn't go and feel miserable.

This is a good compromise.
Boxing Day is a holiday from work and no way would I spend it freezing cold .

LubaLuca · 16/12/2022 21:48

In that case you'll just have to layer up and be glad the cold spell will be over with by then. It's not like they're not trying to make their guests comfortable, they just can't solve their heating problem immediately. With that many people in a couple of rooms and cooking etc on the go it will be warmer. Try not to make a fuss, they must feel embarrassed about it.

AutumnCrow · 16/12/2022 21:49

Take a heater and give them £25.

Why isn't their log fire warm? Or their central heating? Odd.

GinIronic · 16/12/2022 21:50

Don’t go. Life is too short to be this miserable over a second Christmas.

KnickerlessParsons · 16/12/2022 21:51

It can't be that cold with the body heat of 12 people surely?

Wrap up warm and grin and bear it for the day and for your DH, then go home and appreciate your nice, cosy house.

Honeyroar · 16/12/2022 21:51

You’ve visited on the coldest week of the year, the coldest week we’ve had in years. By Boxing Day the weather will have changed and it will be above freezing again. Plus there will be a houseful. You’ll probably find it perfectly warm this time. This is your husband’s time to see his family at Xmas. Be gracious!

Whattodo182 · 16/12/2022 21:52

Just here to lol at the suggestion to go to a pub. 12 people without a booking already, on boxing day, would not be warm and cosy. Probably sitting in the beer garden shivering and hungry as there'd be no room at the inn 🤣

UsingChangeofName · 16/12/2022 21:53

LubaLuca · 16/12/2022 21:48

In that case you'll just have to layer up and be glad the cold spell will be over with by then. It's not like they're not trying to make their guests comfortable, they just can't solve their heating problem immediately. With that many people in a couple of rooms and cooking etc on the go it will be warmer. Try not to make a fuss, they must feel embarrassed about it.

This. It's not going to be cold with 12 people there milling around.

Smartiepants79 · 16/12/2022 21:56

Are you planning on never going to see them again??
This is your husbands family! What does he have to say?
To me Christmas with family is more important than a lot of things.
Are you actually going to tell them why you don’t want to see them over Xmas? My parents (and in-laws) would be very, very hurt and upset.
Find your warmest clothes, get a hot water bottle and suck it up.
I find wrist warmers and leg warmers to be surprising effective.

Mariposista · 16/12/2022 22:03

If it’s cold because they are too tight to heat it, I’d openly say why I’m not coming. I’m not freezing my ass off to save your bank balance. But if they do make an effort but due to the house being old etc its still cold, that’s not their fault and I would be more understanding.