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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's that time again, congratulations on your immune system

198 replies

takeitonthegin · 16/12/2022 19:03

It boils my blood every end of school term. 100% attendance awards. Congratulations on not being poorly, congratulations on being sent to school with a stinking cold!

AIBU to be so grumpy about this? Anyone else feeling annoyed?

OP posts:
Pothoswithasparkle · 16/12/2022 19:04

Yeah I don't get them! I am with you!
But I grew up in a country where if kid has antibiotics they stay home for the duration of treatment... So might be really biased

Greendiamonds · 16/12/2022 19:04

Yes we have been in trouble this term for low attendance. I’m told to examine my threshold for keeping dd home 🤦‍♀️ I said no - how about you examine your ludicrous policy that rewards luck

Cuppasoupmonster · 16/12/2022 19:09

It isn’t even congratulations on being well though it’s ‘congratulations on your parents sending you into school to spread your germs around; have an award’

cantforthelifeofme · 16/12/2022 19:09

Totally agree.

DD in reception so I've been trying to figure out the protocol all term.

We've had the occasional comment from teaching assistant (never from her main teacher)... "ooh she's not really 100% is she...." even though DD wants to go and says she feels fine. Yet we get these newsletters every fortnight from head teacher saying which class had the best attendance 🤷🏼‍♀️

Do they or do they not want DD in school???

HighlandsMum · 16/12/2022 19:09

I can’t stand them. I was a really poorly kid (diagnosed with Crohn’s as an adult, that was part of the reason I was so poorly) and my attendance was crap. It made me so anxious and I would always be so sad when other people got awards, it just made me feel like shit really. I think it’s a stupid reward

BibiThree · 16/12/2022 19:13

It's bullshit, much better to reward effort, reward being a decent kid, don't reward things that are out of their control (for the most part).

Seaweasel · 16/12/2022 19:16

I don't understand why parents get so worked up about it - it's just recognition that a few kids make it into school every day. Of course it's luck, no-one believes that there's some kind of moral superiority in not getting sick, it's just a well done. If it was the only award available, or the prize was an x-box, I'd understand, but it's just a certificate, isn't it? Same as kids getting a clap for getting their 5m swimming certificates or an award at cub camp - utterly random because they happen to be born into a family that does these things. No big deal but nice for the kids that get it, I guess.

MumGoneMild · 16/12/2022 19:19

Ahh yes my son had life saving surgery snd was on bed rest for 3 weeks.

I got a letter saying we should encourage him to be more resilient and he should come in and the receptionist will decide if he needs to come home.

yeah…no its ok mate, ill go with the nurses advice insted

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 19:20

Agreed. Bloody stupid. Congratulations on not being unwell. What a load of bollocks. Adds unnecessary pressure to kids who think they should go in sick to get the stupid award.

WonderingWanda · 16/12/2022 19:21

I'm a teacher and I agree. I certainly don't want parents sending their sick kids to school. I would much rather kids were praised on their effort and behaviour rather than things they are not in control of. The persistent truants and non attenders who don't have a medic issue aren't going to be persuaded to come in because we are dishing out awards.

sickwithcovid · 16/12/2022 19:21

I don't understand why parents get so worked up about it -

Because it's bullshit. Humans have no control over whether or not they get sick and therefore rewarding those who are lucky enough to not get sick is a load of bollocks and completely unfair.

Allmyarseandpeggymartin · 16/12/2022 19:23

This annoys me too and it encourages parents to send sick kids to school where bugs spread like wildfire

Sirzy · 16/12/2022 19:26

Ds has only missed 3 days of school this term. That is the best he has ever done.

he has a number of chronic conditions, one of which means we have to keep him home at a point where I would otherwise send him in. He is in school at every possible chance, but parents sending children in just to keep attendance up means he is more likely to end up having to be home.

all attendance awards do is nightlight to children with medical conditions that they are different.

i had hoped covid would change peoples attitudes with regards to carry on regardless but it seems not

MumGoneMild · 16/12/2022 19:27

I hate the its just a letter shite,” its automatic” fuck off

the staff put it in the envelope and send it, they don’t have to.. or could add a not “sorry by law we have to send this we know it doesn’t apply to you because xyz do ignore”

if you kid’s disabled or ill a-lot you already feel shit about the missed friendship and education, you don't need the school to write and tell you and make your kid (who cannot achieve 100% due to bad heath- not a choice) watch there peers get a certificate for basically not being disabled

ImAvingOops · 16/12/2022 19:28

Fewer kids would be off sick if those who really are under the weather, were allowed to stay home and get better, without their parents being hassled about attendance!
Attendance awards are total bullshit and not comparable to other awards, where at least the child has done something to earn a reward - not getting ill isn't an achievement!

MumGoneMild · 16/12/2022 19:28

*their peers…oops

CrustySnail · 16/12/2022 19:29

Totally agree. I was talking about this with a friend earlier. Sis-in-law has already posted a picture on Facebook of DN holding her certificate for attendance, like it's her GCSE results. It's not normal to celebrate this.

There would be uproar if employees only received a bonus if they had 100% attendance at work. Totally daft.

Pearls1234 · 16/12/2022 19:30

No, I feel the same way. If my DC was ‘awarded’ such bollocks we’d be having a conversation about how it’s actually not a good thing - and politely declining it.

Atmywitsend29 · 16/12/2022 19:30

At DS last school report, they complained that his attendance was below 100%.
He'd just returned to school recovered from chicken pox.

Pumperthepumper · 16/12/2022 19:32

I really hate that the schools get grief for this. On one hand, poor attendance means missed lessons, which leads to increase catch-up time, which leads to more missed lessons (as the kids that were there in the first place have moved on).

On the other hand: poor attendance is overwhelmingly a result of poor social care. And social care is criminally underfunded, so education is expected to pick up the shortfall. Its a horrible circle that ultimately boils down to ‘this government has never given a shit about children’.

Thepeopleversuswork · 16/12/2022 19:33

My daughter has thankfully never been at a school where they do this. I actually can’t believe anyone thinks this is a good idea.

Original poster
takeitonthegin · 16/12/2022 19:34

CrustySnail · 16/12/2022 19:29

Totally agree. I was talking about this with a friend earlier. Sis-in-law has already posted a picture on Facebook of DN holding her certificate for attendance, like it's her GCSE results. It's not normal to celebrate this.

There would be uproar if employees only received a bonus if they had 100% attendance at work. Totally daft.

Yes, I thought exactly this. Imagine if workplaces encouraged 100% attendance and offered a reward for this who did.

OP posts:
Pumperthepumper · 16/12/2022 19:34

Sorry, forgot to add: nobody cares if your kid misses a day or two for a cold. But there is zero nuance, so the attendance letters go out regardless.

FHmama · 16/12/2022 19:34

I think it's ridiculous! My son is an amputee and will have lots of appointments throughout the school year that we will have no choice but to miss school to attend. Awards for good behaviour - yes. Awards for being lucky enough to have a healthy child with a good immune system is such a strange concept to me

PositiveLife · 16/12/2022 19:35

I hate it, but what I hate most is the 'benefits'. At the schools my kids go to, the ones with 100% get to queue jump for lunch. To me, that just gives them the better lunch and the kids that have been off sick get the dregs that are left and no time to eat, which presumably doesn't help them be healthier. Then there's special events and trips. I just don't see how it's a child's fault if they're ill, or if their parents don't give a shit, etc.
On top of that, they've said that prom is dependent on your attendance level. The way stuff is going round over the last couple of weeks, there will be nobody eligible.

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