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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

It's that time again, congratulations on your immune system

198 replies

takeitonthegin · 16/12/2022 19:03

It boils my blood every end of school term. 100% attendance awards. Congratulations on not being poorly, congratulations on being sent to school with a stinking cold!

AIBU to be so grumpy about this? Anyone else feeling annoyed?

OP posts:
mintdaisy · 17/12/2022 06:59

I hate them. I actually got these when I worked as a teacher which was really insensitive as some people had been off with cancer treatment, bereavements, etc.

Devoutspoken · 17/12/2022 07:00

I'm not bothered about these sorts of awards which my kids would rarely get anyway but good luck to those who do. I guess it sets a good precedent for working life

stayathomer · 17/12/2022 07:03

Oh god yes op, by a million percent!!! Son has horrific ear infections but has tried to cover up in the past because he won’t get the trips etc planned for people with x days in a row attendance.

Fairy22 · 17/12/2022 07:04

MumGoneMild · 16/12/2022 19:19

Ahh yes my son had life saving surgery snd was on bed rest for 3 weeks.

I got a letter saying we should encourage him to be more resilient and he should come in and the receptionist will decide if he needs to come home.

yeah…no its ok mate, ill go with the nurses advice insted

🤣 like the receptionist is a part time gp.

Nogbreaks · 17/12/2022 07:04

Yup, agree but luckily our schools don’t do this.
The 13 year old has literally never missed a day of school. The 11 has a mild medical condition and has around 95/96% attendance because of it .
totally arbitrary. I doubt a certificate is motivating any family.

stayathomer · 17/12/2022 07:10

I'm not bothered about these sorts of awards which my kids would rarely get anyway but good luck to those who do. I guess it sets a good precedent for working life
As someone working with two extremely sick people who are dragging themselves in and barely functioning at the moment I don’t know that that’s a good thing!!!!

Wdib78 · 17/12/2022 07:11

CrustySnail · 16/12/2022 19:29

Totally agree. I was talking about this with a friend earlier. Sis-in-law has already posted a picture on Facebook of DN holding her certificate for attendance, like it's her GCSE results. It's not normal to celebrate this.

There would be uproar if employees only received a bonus if they had 100% attendance at work. Totally daft.

My workplace used to have a raffle of prizes for those with over 98% attendance, included were cash prizes.

Even though for a number of years I was included I thought it unfair for those that had time off with flu/ d&v, even cancer and were excluded from it, some were just bundles of selection boxes. I'd rather it have been equal prizes shared amongst everyone tbh.

Devoutspoken · 17/12/2022 07:12

Stayathomer, no that doesn't sound good, but there are people who take sick leave at the drop of a hat

primeoflife · 17/12/2022 07:12

Seaweasel · 16/12/2022 19:16

I don't understand why parents get so worked up about it - it's just recognition that a few kids make it into school every day. Of course it's luck, no-one believes that there's some kind of moral superiority in not getting sick, it's just a well done. If it was the only award available, or the prize was an x-box, I'd understand, but it's just a certificate, isn't it? Same as kids getting a clap for getting their 5m swimming certificates or an award at cub camp - utterly random because they happen to be born into a family that does these things. No big deal but nice for the kids that get it, I guess.

Because when my daughter was in primary school she would beg me to send her to school with chicken pox, high temperature etc as she didn't want to not get full attendance or let the attendance of her class down. The pressure on children by school is immense

LlynTegid · 17/12/2022 07:17

I wonder if the Equalities Act comes into scope here. Covid has for whatever reason affected certain ethnic minorities more than others, and is still about affecting a reasonable number of people. Much as it is inconvenient, I want those with the virus not to go to school or a place of work until they test negative.

Additional to that are those with disabilities, special needs.

Talk to the school, and then follow up with a formal letter to the governors asking them why the school is being discriminatory.

Original poster
takeitonthegin · 17/12/2022 07:21

@LlynTegid I think that is a very good idea.

OP posts:
Catspyjamas17 · 17/12/2022 07:21

Totally agree, OP. I've hated these certificates since they came in while DDs were at primary school, and more so rewards based on attendance at secondary school. I wish someone would take an academy trust to court over it so that this and all the nonsense that is spouted about attendance levels is kicked into touch once and for all.

Devoutspoken · 17/12/2022 07:34

The pressure on the kids is not immense, my kids couldn't give a fig

SkinnyFatte · 17/12/2022 07:43

These things are unbelievably unfair. When I was at primary school (1980s) a fellow pupil had lots of health problems and was off a lot, none of it their fault, yet they couldn't go on the school trip because their attendance was so poor.

When DD joined her secondary school, I was told to try and keep up her attendance because all students who get 100% attendance get a free day out at a theme park. My daughter is unable to achieve this because she normally, without fail, picks up a nasty virus in the winter and is in bed for a week. (I say it's her immune system recalibrating). Then she's fairly ok for the rest of the year. She has people in her school with asthma, SEN, muscular issues, mental health issues, social issues...how are they ever going to go to Alton Towers?

MattDillonsEyebrows · 17/12/2022 07:44

Whilst I get that it can seem unfair to a child, surely an adult should see it for what it is and have one of those ‘win some, lose some’ conversations?

You could argue any recognition is unfair as some children (such as mine) are unlikely to win a behaviour or effort awards. so why should the children perceived to work harder get a prize?

The ‘kindness’ awards are merely subjective and I doubt any child is kind all the time so why should they get a prize?

The sporty children who beat the not sporty ones are just luckier that they enjoy or are better at sport so why should they get a prize?

My eldest broke my heart the other day when she stated ‘no-one really sees how hard I try’ I told her that I did see how hard she tries and that there’s only a few awards so more children won’t get them than will. I then went on with some stuff about how most good deeds and efforts go unnoticed so it’s important to do them for yourself etc. You get the picture, but I will ensure as her mum, that she knows she is seen & I appreciate her efforts but that not everyone will see it and that is just life.

I think they did away with awards (particularly sport ones with ‘group sports days’ in a lot of schools in the late nineties and noughties and IMO (might be unpopular on here) this is the reason we have a huge proportion of adults in their 30’s with a sense of entitlement now! I should point out that this opinion is purely observed through my own eyes and is entirely subjective, not proper evidence based!

MattDillonsEyebrows · 17/12/2022 07:46

Also I should point out that I do not believe any child should miss out on school trips or parties because they don’t meet the criteria!!
I have no problems with recognition awards for but punishments are incredibly unfair and if our school did this (they don’t) I would take my child out.

Nogbreaks · 17/12/2022 08:02

‘Stayathomer, no that doesn't sound good, but there are people who take sick leave at the drop of a haT’

yes there are they going to be motivated to come in because of a selection box at the end of the year??

Nogbreaks · 17/12/2022 08:03

‘Talk to the school, and then follow up with a formal letter to the governors asking them why the school is being discriminatory.’

alternatively just see it for the pointless thing it is and leave the school alone. Discrimination my arse.

whatkatydid2013 · 17/12/2022 08:08

Nogbreaks · 17/12/2022 08:03

‘Talk to the school, and then follow up with a formal letter to the governors asking them why the school is being discriminatory.’

alternatively just see it for the pointless thing it is and leave the school alone. Discrimination my arse.

It depends on how the school handle it. Mentioning who got 100% attendance or giving a certificate I’d agree with you. Excluding some kids with chronic health conditions every term/year from taking part in a fun activity because they were sick is definitely discriminatory. Even if my kids always met the attendance targets I’d be making a fuss about a policy like that

SoundsOfThunder · 17/12/2022 08:09

What's worse is the class getting rewards for maximum attendance. I've heard of sick kids getting so upset at letting the class down then the kids in the class having a go at them if they've been off!

IamnotSethRogan · 17/12/2022 08:11

I'm not even sure if my school does this but i also don't/wouldn't really give a fuck. My kids are much happier with a day off as opposed to a shitty certificate anyway.

needthiswilderness · 17/12/2022 08:12

Totally agree. It’s the thing that’s most shocked me about the state system. Such a toxic value system and so ableist too. I kind of can’t believe it’s not been challenged yet at a higher level? I know our primary worries about losing its Outstanding from ofsted if their attendance average is too low, so maybe the trouble starts with them?

ReluctantLondoners · 17/12/2022 08:13

Ridiculous! My dcs' school doesn't seem to do this thank god. I am an LSA and if I got a shitty email about attendance from my dcs' school, I'm afraid I would respond with equal shittiness.

Hellothere54 · 17/12/2022 08:19

I’m a teacher and I hate them! Looked round the hall yesterday when we were giving them out and not one adult in there would have got one as it has been a particularly awful term for viruses - why are children being forced to celebrate presenteeism at 4 years old! One girl in my class was upset because she was a ‘silver’ not a ‘gold’ as we had sent her home after cutting her face open in a bad fall! Bloody ridiculous!! We are being forced by our Trust to come down hard as it’s one of the first things OFSTED looks at. Yet again children’s education being ruined OFSTED!!

Hellothere54 · 17/12/2022 08:25

Also imo there is a massive difference between being recognised for sporting triumphs, hard work, getting house point etc. and rewarding children for something that is completely out of their control at primary level. Getting to school is on the parents, not the children. Those parents that don’t want to/struggle to/don’t bother to send their children to school aren’t going to care about a certificate and it’s not going to help the chronically depressed mum who struggles to get up anyway to have the added pressure of need to get them to school on time for a dann certificate!