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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

In not wanting DS to have an advent calendar?

111 replies

Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:00

I am very much in favour of healthy eating but even I don’t mind a minuscule bit of chocolate every morning.

The problem is DS is too young to understand what an advent calendar is and why he’s getting a bit of chocolate so every morning after a bit of chocolate he was crying and pointing at the advent calendar wanting more. (Grandparents got it for him.) In the end I just put it away and no harm done.

Now DH has got it back out and thinks DS is missing out. AIBU about it? To me, tantrums every morning over a tiny bit of chocolate aren’t worth it.

OP posts:
nutbrownhare15 · 16/12/2022 19:01

My kids have advent calendars with no chocolate for this reason.

SquirrelRed · 16/12/2022 19:02

How old is he?

Wishawisha · 16/12/2022 19:03

Of course he’s not missing out if he doesn’t even understand what it is. It sounds like he’s only about 1?

I can’t remember when mine had their first advent calendar. Not at that age anyway. Not because I’m anti chocolate but just because there is no point so young.

BTW we have a felt reusable one to help the whole wanting to open another door thing. Maybe for the future?

Stompythedinosaur · 16/12/2022 19:03

Can't you get it out for him to have the choc, then put it away again? Might be the best of both worlds?

Doowop1919 · 16/12/2022 19:04

How old?

I bought DS one this year (2.5 years old) thinking it would be nice. And wish I hadn't! He was waking ridiculously early because he wanted the damn little chocolate. It's lost a bit of novelty now as he is back to sleeping until 6-7am and not bloody 5am, and doesn't go on about it constantly throughout the day anymore (I moved it into our bedroom) but it's still the first thing he mentions upon waking.

So no, yanbu!

Original poster
Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:05

He isn’t remotely bothered about opening the door Smile

He is 2 next month. He’s not normally prone to tantrums about food and in fairness to him any tantrums are (usually) short lived so I didn’t really like where it was going, to be honest. I mean, I know there will come a point I have less control over his diet and external influences will prevail but at this stage it just makes sense to keep it away if only from a ‘ffs let’s avoid this problem if we can’ perspective.

OP posts:
panko · 16/12/2022 19:05

Get a picture one?

They have to learn no somehow

Original poster
Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:05

@Doowop1919 sorry you had that but glad it isn’t just us … I think next year he might ‘get it’ but now it’s just so silly!

OP posts:
Suzi888 · 16/12/2022 19:05

DD had one when she was little, it was consumed in about a week.
Until they can be trusted it’s pointless 😂

Ponderingwindow · 16/12/2022 19:07

You also don’t have to do it in the morning. A better timing might go more smoothly.

Original poster
Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:07

They do @panko but equally setting up a confrontation when it can so easily be avoided seems foolish to me. He doesn’t demand chocolate when out and about, he does understand ‘no, that’s not safe’ but he doesn’t understand ‘no, you get a tiny little taste during the last month of the year’ because he doesn’t know what months or years are yet … it’s easy to see that it’s frustrating to him.

OP posts:
Doowop1919 · 16/12/2022 19:07

Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:05

@Doowop1919 sorry you had that but glad it isn’t just us … I think next year he might ‘get it’ but now it’s just so silly!

Thanks, as I say fine now but at the beginning not so much. A few other mums I know were having a similar issue with their 2 year olds.

7Worfs · 16/12/2022 19:08

I allow my 3yo a little chocolate every day after dinner (provided it’s high quality high cocoa %), but like hell would I allow chocolate for breakfast. I assume they skimp on the quality too as it will sell anyway.

Cryingbutstilltrying · 16/12/2022 19:08

He doesn’t understand and it’s causing upset.
Eat it yourself op, and be done with it.
Or just bin it if you don’t want the choc yourself.
Little kids just don’t get it, save the hassle for a different battle!

MolliciousIntent · 16/12/2022 19:10

7Worfs · 16/12/2022 19:08

I allow my 3yo a little chocolate every day after dinner (provided it’s high quality high cocoa %), but like hell would I allow chocolate for breakfast. I assume they skimp on the quality too as it will sell anyway.

Ha we do this too! A square of 70% or higher after dinner most days. I got ruthlessly mocked for his but I think it's a really lovely thing.

Oysterbabe · 16/12/2022 19:10

I put YABU purely because it really irritates me when people don't include the age of the child in the OP. It's always really relevant.
Otherwise, YANBU.

Original poster
Frostyfield · 16/12/2022 19:13

Sorry for not meeting the exacting standards then Oysterbabe.

OP posts:
NuffSaidSam · 16/12/2022 19:14

I wouldn't get an advent calendar until they find out about them from an external source and actually ask for one. So, that's generally when they start school for a first child, earlier for sibling who will see an older child with one and want to join in.

A bit of chocolate in the morning is fine once they're old enough to ask for it. I wouldn't be the one to introduce the idea to them though!

eachtigertires · 16/12/2022 19:15

I had the same issue with my just turned 2 year old this year but after a few days she got it. It didn’t help that I forgot to do it for the first few days so the first few days she got two and after that only one. I have moved it out of reach though as impulse control is only so good. But she doesn’t ask for it constantly now. We will see what happens after Christmas Eve when there are no more days. Also I think it helped that we have one of the reusable ones so we can choose what goes in each day and not every day is the same, sometimes it’s stickers and other small ish things she likes, sometimes edible treats, sometimes not.

ChampagneLassie · 16/12/2022 19:16

MolliciousIntent · 16/12/2022 19:10

Ha we do this too! A square of 70% or higher after dinner most days. I got ruthlessly mocked for his but I think it's a really lovely thing.

Show quote history

I guess I'm just curious of the why bother? Do they really enjoy it? My mother was cruel very puritan and we didn't have sweets or deserts growing up, I only ever had these things at others houses or when given money on days out. I don't remember actually feeling I was missing out, just enjoyed when I got it.

roarfeckingroarr · 16/12/2022 19:17

YANBU. I bought one for my two year old without thinking it through so now it's hidden and I'm doing us both a favour by eating it myself.

WonderingWanda · 16/12/2022 19:18

I think for a 2 year old if it's causing tantrums then it is sensible to remove it. Can't really remember when mine started to have them. 1 Try again next year, he will likely be much more reasonable

MolliciousIntent · 16/12/2022 19:19

ChampagneLassie · 16/12/2022 19:16

I guess I'm just curious of the why bother? Do they really enjoy it? My mother was cruel very puritan and we didn't have sweets or deserts growing up, I only ever had these things at others houses or when given money on days out. I don't remember actually feeling I was missing out, just enjoyed when I got it.

Show quote history

Yeah they do! My 3yr old loves it, and like me finds normal commercial milk chocolate far too sweet and only likes a very small amount at a time. But it's completely normalised for her, it's nothing special. I was denied sweets etc as a child and as soon as I was able to get them myself I had absolutely zero self control. Even as an adult, I struggle to rein myself in. I ate a whole sharing pack of tangfastics today. I don't want that for my daughters.

There are also lots of benefits from eating high quality chocolate.

DisforDarkChocolate · 16/12/2022 19:20

Open it in the afternoon. I have a biscuit one this year and it's much nicer opening it in the afternoon.

WhatAmIDoingWrong123 · 16/12/2022 19:22

Our 1 year old is fine with it. She has it of an evening when she’s in her jammies. She was getting a bit frustrated about not having any more than one so we open the little door and then move away from the calendar and she has it on the sofa. Seems to work fine!