In not wanting DS to have an advent calendar?

[Frostyfield]

I am very much in favour of healthy eating but even I don’t mind a minuscule bit of chocolate every morning.

The problem is DS is too young to understand what an advent calendar is and why he’s getting a bit of chocolate so every morning after a bit of chocolate he was crying and pointing at the advent calendar wanting more. (Grandparents got it for him.) In the end I just put it away and no harm done.

Now DH has got it back out and thinks DS is missing out. AIBU about it? To me, tantrums every morning over a tiny bit of chocolate aren’t worth it.

Oh bollocks was it.

I am quite sure that the day will come when DS refuses everything except baked beans and chicken nuggets and had to be drowned in ketchup. I just really don’t see that there is anything to be gained by saying that at the moment, that’s not where we are. The fussiness usually kicks in between 2-3 IME, and we aren’t 2 yet.

And if you want me to berate myself, since this is MN, then my child started FT nursery at 8.5 months and they pretty much weaned him. They cook a lot better than I do, so he was weaned on a diet of fresh fruit and veg and grains. Not my doing.

Some kids eat well. My brother always did - ate everything put in front of him. I didn’t; there was a lot of stuff I wouldn’t eat as a child. DS is between where we were. He eats a good range of food but not enough of it - seems to get full very quickly and doesn’t ask for food in the way I hear other kids, which is why I’ve been surprised at this behaviour.

So now I have clarified that I am not a boastful parent - which clearly wasn’t what the thread was about - shall we move on?

Nobody is parent shaming and my toddler is no more capable of emotional regulation than anyone else, because like all toddlers, she doesn’t have the ability to regulate her emotions.

That’s exactly why I’m teaching her.

What are you talking about? Where did I say they needed advent calendars?

I am talking about their behaviour as a whole. It doesn’t matter what it is. You need to put up with the tantrums now to raise civilised well behaved children.

But I suspect you knew that.

And OPs struggled so much that she took it away - that’s a perfectly acceptable parenting decision. As I say, just because yours is fine with it now doesn’t mean other children have to be. They all develop differently at different rates. And that’s fine. Yours understands, that’s grand. OPs didn’t, that’s fine too.

Why would she post it then? The tantrums over the chocolates hadn’t happened yet.

I am quite sure OP is incapable of seeing the future.

“They have their advent calendar chocolate as an amuse-bouche before their honey Cheerios.”

i just love this thread!

I'll leave this here for you OP 😁

blog.hurrahforgin.com/2016/12/06/advent-uncut/

I ate the vast majority of my children's chocolate for Christmas / Easter until they were around 4 🤣
YANBU

Oh yes. We had real tears at meeting Father Christmas. Poor someone’s nursery dad Father Christmas!

I'd stick it in a drawer too if it was causing tantrums. I'm all for an easy life though. I am laughing at some of the my child is only allowed high quality chocolate comments.

Glad to amuse you
I don’t know if it will work, but I’m doing my best to teach the DC that there are no bad or forbidden foods as long as we know what exactly we are eating, and chose less processed options.

I know some parents only allow sweets on a Sunday etc, I don’t think that teaches self-regulation.

Exactly the same here. No food is bad! Treats are a standard part of life and an everyday occurrence. We give dark chocolate cs that's the only sort of chocolate we buy. She also gets to have pombears. Not very highbrow at all.

If he is nearly 2, then I’d sack this off until next year. But plan in advance for a better scheme next year. Buy an advent calendar with pockets (ideally do it soon while they are discounted!). Each night while he’s asleep, a chocolate (or biscuit or whatever treat you want to give) appears in the next days pocket. No drama wanting to open them all or check them all, there’s nothing in the other pockets to get upset over. You can vary what he gets each day.

make sure PIL know you have this so another calendar doesn’t turn up.

YANBU, if he’s too young to understand or care it’s pointless giving him chocolate everyday. I think DS was 3 when he had his first calendar. Wait until next year.

Yep, it’s not about being Catherine Tate offering gooseberry & cinnamon yogurt.

The things UPF do to our bodies AND mental heath, we really should try to limit consumption (it can’t be totally eliminated even by the most dedicated).

And the way the NHS is going, our best bet at health is to eat well, drink less, and abandon smoking.

Yeah, I limit DD3 to one smoke a month, and I try where possible to only give her the finest Cubans.

And a thimble of 16 year old Lagavulin, on birthdays only ;)

We use a wooden train and fill ourselves, partly for allergies but also means we can just fill one box a day, so doesn't matter if they pull all the boxes or, they won't get more.

There are some exceptionally odd reply's to this thread.

Op said she doesn't mind the chocolate, it's the tantrums and child not understanding the concept of one chocolate.

Op- I would just hide the calendar, tell DC it's gone and it'll all be forgotten about soon.

My eldest child has always been very good with delayed gratification and taking on square at a time. My youngest at 3 can’t deal with it seemingly. Whole advent calendar went by about the 10th of December and she’s been trying to steal her sister’s one most days. The day she succeeded was Armageddon. I’m sure you could personality test children based on their response to an advent calendar.

This is only the second year I've done all my chocolates one day at a time.

I'm 34.

We were on the same page until you said Lagavulin rather than Lafroaig.

We are in the same situation, I've hidden it in the cupboard!

No, it really wasn’t, although he does eat pretty healthily,

Managed to reiterate it one more time there OP, congrats again.

@7Worfs and @MolliciousIntent i do this but on a previous thread got absolutely pilloried for it; some posters suggesting it was tantamount to neglect! I also think it’s a nice thing to do.