In not wanting DS to have an advent calendar?

[Frostyfield]

I am very much in favour of healthy eating but even I don’t mind a minuscule bit of chocolate every morning.

The problem is DS is too young to understand what an advent calendar is and why he’s getting a bit of chocolate so every morning after a bit of chocolate he was crying and pointing at the advent calendar wanting more. (Grandparents got it for him.) In the end I just put it away and no harm done.

Now DH has got it back out and thinks DS is missing out. AIBU about it? To me, tantrums every morning over a tiny bit of chocolate aren’t worth it.

Let your H do it with him at whatever time he’s around. And deal with the tantrum 😉

So do it in afternoon?

He’s 2 and a half. Why are you trying to “keep him happy”? You’re the adults here.

You will end up with a spoilt, poorly behaved child if you don’t put in the work and deal with the tantrums now and it will be too late to fix by then.

I wouldn't give a child that age chocolate at all but most people would probably think I'm being OTT.

Jeez, that's a precedent you really don't want to set! Caving to tantrums is such a bad call.

They wouldn’t be missing out at all if you just said it’s all gone now! I was really annoyed when my parents bought them some when dd2 was 2 years old. Think I might have hidden them, they don’t need chocolate everyday for a reason they don’t understand. But this year at 4 and 6 they get the count down and a small treat is fine.

@CombatBarbie - the timing of the chocolate is not the issue, it is the presence of the chocolate.

@LillyLeaf youll get a hard time but I understand. Tantrums are exhausting. DS isn’t too bad as a rule but had a horrible one today, in public as well. I stayed calm, did the right things but it drained the beating soul from me I swear.

It’s better to be dealing with the tantrums now when he’s 2 and it’s acceptable because he has no emotional regulation, rather than dealing with them at 4+ when it’s a learned behaviour from you.

Why is this thread being posted on 16th December?

When else would you post about advent?

My daughter is 2 and she loves hers. If she asks for it again, I remind her she's had it today and she can have another one tomorrow. She got it after a few days and doesn't ask for it after she's had it. Her little face at the pictures and a tiny chocolate, she loves it.

Sorry, clearly mid July would have been a better time

Its posted on 16th December because we started December with it; by about the 8th I was fed up of the thing and shoved it in a drawer only for it to emerge today when DH was looking for something else and he had a moan at me. Only a light hearted one and I responded in kind.

Vetch do a good toddler one. We don't do chocolate ones for the kids and never have. The older kids love the Lego ones.

I feel your pain. Granny bought DC(2) a chocolate calendar. We have made it in to a family calendar, so we only open it once every three days and do "one for Mummy, one for Daddy, one for you". Seems to be working in limiting expectations but I wish Granny hadn't bought it.

Sure @YellowTreeHouse but i do think some MNetters forget how limited a child of this age is in their understanding. Something like ‘you can have a go later’ is not something they understand well, and when they want something, they want it.

That is not saying you should give into it, but you also aren’t going to magically make them obedient and compliant by not giving into it.

Surely this thread should have started around 29th - 30th November??? Not over halfway through December. The kids have had half the bloody chocolates already. And they're usually the size of a bee! FFS. It's not THAT much chocolate!

Eh?

DH wants him to have an advent calendar and you don’t want him to have the chocolate.

So just compromise.

Get just a picture one with no chocolate.
There are toy ones but that could end up with him wanting more toys instead of chocolate.

My favourite advent calendars are the book ones, I think they’re a great idea

We stopped doing them. I didnt have them as a kid and was fine. I tried to do fun none chocolate ones for the kids (including making my own like an idiot) or buying lego ones or whatever but they are all just expensive and so this year we just dont have one and the kids are fine. We have loads of fun stuff. Just not a chocolate calendar.

I’ve just done a wee search Purple and you don’t half pull that confused face a lot.

I don’t think DH is so bothered about the advent calendar he would bother going out and getting a new one - especially, as Purple has helpfully pointed out with a number of emojis to show just how perplexing and bewildering she finds it all - it was just a slight disagreement. Probably because unfailingly it is me who ends up having to deal with the tantrum!

I have a child the exact same age, she’s about to turn 2.

She understands now that I say only one today and we put it away, because the first few days she didn’t get that and had a tantrum I didn’t cave and role modelled what to do. Now she takes one and helps me put the calendar away.

Toddlers understand a lot more than people give them credit for. You only have to reinforce the message a few times for them to understand.

And even if they don’t understand exactly why, they are capable of understanding this is what we do regardless of the reason.

This.

Cue everyone else piling in to inform us that their kids only eat high quality single squares of chocolate and would never dream of allowing chocolate for breakfast

My kids don't eat chocolate for breakfast. They have their advent calendar chocolate as an amuse-bouche before their honey Cheerios.

Honestly. Unclench. A teeny tiny bite of chocolate once a day is not causing any harm.

This is not really fair as all children are different. My two year old has a multivitamin that he has one of every day. He asks for another and I say no and he accepts that just fine. But he opened all his book calendar at once.

Not all children are the same, not all of them can regulate their emotions over everything. The OPs son couldn’t cope with his advent calendar and that’s fine. Just because YOURS can doesn’t mean hers should be able to. Don’t parent-shame someone else. The OP made a sensible parenting decision to remove the calendar - she knows her own child.

@parsniiips You have entirely missed the point of the thread. Head out of arse, re-read the bit where Op said she doesn’t mind him having chocolate every day and the issue is that he gets upset about not being able to have more, then try again.

😂🤣 yes definitely. One year olds need advent calendars or they’ll never be well-behaved or civilised! This thread is brilliant!