AIBU to be annoyed he thinks my food is disgusting?

[WontEatMyFood]

Would you be offended if someone consistently didn't like your food?

For context, we have a 15 year old Spanish boy staying with us and each night pretty much his whole dinner goes in the bin. He also doesn't appear to eat any vegetables as he'll always pointedly pick them out and push them to the side of his plate.

He's with us three months now and it's actually making me dislike him!

I wouldn't mind but I really enjoy cooking and I actively have an interest in it so I know my meals are generally pretty tasty and they're also very varied (not modest I know!). Typical meals I'd make are; spag bol, roasts with all the trimmings, thai food, indian curries, pork casserole with apple, chicken florentine, pasta linguine, bean and sausage casseroles amongst many other things!

The only meals he appears to have liked are burgers and steak which he wolfed down like a savage.

Oh and he never says thank you for a meal.

He's giving me the rage! But I need to get a grip don't I?

His culture isn't burgers and pizza...

At 15 he should understand this program is for him to immerse himself in the local culture, and that includes food. OP already asked what he would like for breakfast and she does make pizza/burgers/meat, just not every night.

Lords above I'm surprised you haven't lamped him. Why is he staying?

You "imagine"? You mean you are making things up to suit your narrative.

Sorry - I really need to know why he is staying for 3+ months. Such a long time for a kid to be away from his family?

Have you got a Lidl close to you? Tastes of Iberia coming up soon? But tbh you sound really defensive and unwilling to actually bother to consider his feelings. Teenagers are hard work anyway.

If this was China, an exchange student wouldn't be getting pizza every night!
My lovely host family was in Beijing they didn't cook me pizza etc every night, but they spoke to me about my likes/dislikes the first day I arriced, did incorporate meals from back home I liked pizza, pasta, burgers regularly and didn't get annoyed if I didn't enjoy things, as they understood it was different and the homesick factor, they were always like no worries and told me to help myself to snacks from freezer, cupboards, make myself a sandwich, don't try and force down food I hate.
OP needs to talk to him more really.

Likely an English language course. Students come for a anything from a couple of weeks to a year.

Ok thanks. Sounds very full on for all parties!

Of course his culture isn't pizza and burgers, but those are foods available in both countries so would be familiar...unlike OPs dinner menu.

Not sure if you've ever tried living in a different country for an extended period but it can be tough, especially if you don't speak the language fluently. Becoming immersed in the culture might mean trying new foods, it doesn't mean you need to eat foods you don't like every night for months on end. OP clearly needs to meet him halfway.

Err, why not? Any family hosting a foreign student should have insight into cultural differences and the challenges that come with culture shock.

I imagine a Chinese family with insight into this would be flexible and supportive of their student, like any host family should be. Nationality really doesn't have anything to do with it.

This thread is so depressing.

For the money?

Yanbu he's a spoilt little brat and he would be leaving immediately.

If this is stressing you out then tell the school so they can inform his parents. It’s not right that he isn’t eating healthy food regularly because he’s stuffing himself with snacks.

It’s not right that he isn’t eating healthy food regularly because he’s stuffing himself with snacks.

No, it's not right that he's stuffing himself with snacks because he's not eating healthy food regularly.

Anybody suggesting this boy is not eating OP’s food because of his different nationality is nuts. The boy is just a fussy little rude prick. British food has come a long way since the 70s, it’s gone through a massive culinary revolution and the supermarkets here cater for all kind of tastes, likes and customs. I’ve met loads of Spanish people who eat tons of junk so this narrative that they eat amazing food is just rubbish. The boy is a finicky eater and that’s that.

It's funny, when I was a teenager I stayed with a French family. The mum cooked delicious meals and I tucked in happily, but they said before me they'd had a Spanish girl who didn't like the mum's food. I think they were all a bit offended about it. Like I said the mum was a good cook. At least it made me look good in comparison as they liked me and invited me back!

When dd's school did a French exchange one of the French boys wouldn't eat any vegetables. Not even onions or tomatoes as part of a recipe. Made things tricky for the English hosts

It's funny that on most fussy eater threads whenever someone displays impatience they get shot down.

But this poor kid who barely understands the language and must be picking on his host's impatience and dislike of him gets called names and asked to grow up and maybe cook for the family himself????
I'm sure many of our 15 year old kids would be fine living abroad and cooking for strangers they can barely communicate with... 🤨

Also the whole food is part of the culture thing... he's 15. I doubt he chose to come because he's so fascinated by British culture.
He's a teenager who's been sent on a language course, probably missing his friends and routine.
Do we really know 15 year olds with an appetite for culture?
I'm on a high if I ever get my teens to notice a nice piece of architecture, or to venture in a museum.

I’m not sure you’ve considered the cultural differences OP. Spanish food is not like British food, you may also find that the manners aspect is cultural too, everyone does things a little differently. Your cooking is no doubt nice but perhaps it’s not what he’s used to and his finding it too much for his pallette?

The boy is just a fussy little rude prick. British food has come a long way since the 70s, it’s gone through a massive culinary revolution and the supermarkets here cater for all kind of tastes, likes and customs.

Doesn't really matter that the supermarkets cater for when op doesn't want to adapt to her guest or even talk to him properly about his tastes, likes etc.
Being abroad young in a country where you don't speak the language is tough, doubly so when you dislike the food, op shouldn't change her whole menu, but the nice thing to do would be talk to him and try and incorporate more things he likes occasionally and get some easy snacks/meal options in for him to make himself something for when he isn't keen on the meal

YABU.
You don't need to cook something else for him, but the base should be in meals where everything isn't mixed together and is possible to pick a subset (even if really bland). Check with him what should go on his plate - and than you can generally expect him to eat it. Offer very simple alternative if the main part doesn't work for him (boiled egg with plain pasta is still food).

I've been four times in England to attend a language school, always staying with (payed) host families for several weeks. They all used this simple trick.

we always ask him how his day is, try to talk to him about the football etc but when a person speaks in monosyllables it really is very hard.

I’m continually eyerolling at stuff I read on Mumsnet about how parents pander to their own teenagers so this thread has come as a bit of a shock. It’s also brought back memories of when I went to stay with my penfriend in France. Despite being top of my French class I was just completely overwhelmed by the strange environment and hardly managed to get a word out at all (though luckily I don’t remember having a problem with the food).

And I only went for a week! Is it normal for children to go on such long exchanges? Does he seem happy (other than the fact that he’s starving?). 15 years old seems somewhat young to be away from home for so long unless he’s a very confident child.

Shocking double standards too. Multiple threads on here about teenagers too timid to leave home to go to university (when in theory they could come home every weekend if they wanted). And someone insisting that a 15 year old is “practically an adult” when there are numerous posters insisting that their twenty year olds are “still children” and can’t be left to sort their own lives out.

Surely this is a joke. It doesn't matter what's available in UK supermarkets if OP continues to cook the same British meals. Of course he's going to eat junk if it's the only thing available that he likes. I wouldn't want to eat OPs menu for 3 months because it's not the food I was raised on. It doesn't make me a prick.