If Christmas is easy or hard work for you mentally?

[PrincesPoof]

This is pure curiosity…
im really struggling with Christmas and wonder how people get on with it.

I’m feeling a lot of pressure from family to see them, have fun and bet together. I imagine lots of people feel the financial pressure (although I’m not one of them)

i just wonder does anyone actually have a lovely Christmas where no one gets upset about seeing folks, presents, food, pressured fun etc etc

i wonder if I’m on my own with this 😞

I think it depends on the pressure you put on yourself and the pressure others put on you? I love the build up, the activities, buying presents so I don’t find that stressful and we have a low key Christmas Day just me DH and the DC, because I organise the whole thing he cooks and washes up so I get a relaxing time. We don’t have demanding family either which helps, I wouldn’t want guests Christmas Day and I would nt want to go anywhere else either. We see a lot of people but usually in the run up and in between Christmas and new year.

I never do anything I don’t want to do either which helps with an easy life all year round!

It is hard work! I am running round from this event to that one , got my aged mother being a pain in the fking arse,she who suddenly appears to have lost the use of her usually very reliable arms and legs and brain being pathetic,She is running me ragged,DH has cold ,a minor cold but is surely going to need intensive care with the way he is moaning and the extra fake cough he does whenever we walk in the room has surely got to be up for best oscar! Christmas day itself will be lovely as we are going out to a lovely pub for lunch but in all honesty will be glad when the thing is over and done with!

It’s Christmas combined with bad weather (we’ve had lots of snow and ice and it’s still here, not melting), crowded shops and busy lives.
So it’s not Christmas itself as such, but trying to fit it in!

I find the family politics incredibly stressful. Awful.
I dont find the decorations, present, food thing bad.

YANBU in the slightest. We are going to in laws (I love them, great relationship), I take all the desserts and make things like stuffing, Yorkshire puddings and gravy which is great and everyone is happy. Only trouble is I'm autistic, so is FIL and he will leave the table and go and sit down but turns the living room lights off first and then he just watches TV whilst I'm still sitting at the table with MIL and GMIL who make no conversation other than "Well, that's Christmas all over for another year" and the obligatory "Oh gosh I can't eat all that, I've had enough now, I couldn't eat another bite, I hardly eat at all, this is my first meal in 3 weeks I've been that ill and ooh did I tell you about that nurse, she was AWFUL" whilst my DS hides upstairs and has to spend Christmas Day away from his toys. They really are lovely but its so toe curlingly awkward.

This ^

Do the stuff you find fun.

This means if anyone tries to pressure you into doing stuff you don't enjoy, then let them do that part.

Don't even let yourself pressure you. (sorry about the grammar in that one - hope you get the point )

It's way better to be upfront and say - we won't be visiting or hosting you this year than have to host or visit through gritted teeth.

It's good to let everyone play their part so that the magic is a shared activity. Christmas is not a performance for the mother to put on for the rest of their immediate family, never mind the wider family.

I think this year is particularly intense with school children because they break up so early. It's been a crazy fortnight when every day was some new permutation of wearing festive gear/taking festive food/ money for a charity/ on a festive trip/ a school Christmas performance/event/raffle and bonus residential trip. That logistical juggling act set against the usual day, the additional xmas decorating, shopping and organising to the backdrop of particularly bad weather has made things a pita.

But from here on in its a peace of cake for me. We have a relaxed schedule, easy family gatherings, things are winding up at work - good times are imminent.

Piece of cake 🙄🤣

It used to be very hard work, but these days it is very easy - I only have to buy for dh and ds and we don't need to go anywhere. The only social type thing I have done is dish out mince pies at Ds's sports club christmas thing which wasn't any head space either.
Of course the downside is that we've lost my parents and MIL who were the main drivers of stress

It's easy for me. I've never given gifts, hosted or visited others.
Keep it simple I say.

You don't mention kids so I am assuming you don't have them.
Christmas can be then total walk in a park.
1-as pp said, you are putting pressure on yourself, say no
2-do stuff YOU enjoy
3-eat what YOU enjoy and WHERE you enjoy it.
4-Christmas is a period NOT 1 day. Spread relatives around and keep 25th, possibly 26th yours to relax.
5-whoever will moan, will soon move onto some willing victim and leave you alone

It’s like a marathon. Just taking one day at a time here. There will be good days, and less good ones 🤣

I don't have very complicated Christmases, we are older so don't have parents to consider any more. And we only spend what we can afford. We don't get invited to his childrens', this is the first time we have been invited to spend Christmas with one of my children. If none of my children are coming to us or we're not seeing them we go away. I plan really early, starting in September. I had everything planned and organised by the first week in December, all presents wrapped etc. So no - I don't get stressed or struggle mentally because I plan and get everything done early. BUT - that is the reason I get things done early.... So I don't get stressed. I get very anxious if I don't know what's happening so I make sure that I do.

What an interesting question. I find the organisation and cooking easy and the pressure and emotion hard. I want it to be great and the intensity of it is a bit much.

I find it very easy.

But we don't have children and our families aren't especially close, so there's no pressure for these huge, family gatherings that always seem to end in disaster.

I buy for my family (just parents), DH buys for his. Instead of buying for each other, we spend the money on stuff for the house, or towards a holiday.

No stress, no rows, no arguments. It's my favourite time of year.

As long as I don't visit my mum, Christmas is OK to me.

I'm old(er), in my 50s. Some years , especially when the DC were babies and toddlers were magical. The driving-around-visiting-everyone years were stressful, tiring and tbh a pain in the arse. Once DC were adults I started to enjoy Xmas again . I lost my Ddad this year and just really wish I could skip the whole thing, as do my siblings.

Really easy. Put up decorations. Family party last weekend. Dh bought ds's presents already, wrapped and under the tree. Then it's just a posh roast. Where's the stress?

Ours are easy. We got rid of the people that made our lives difficult so now there’s no horrible family members, drama llamas or people that put guilt trips on us in our lives. We’ll see family before Xmas, spend Xmas Day just us and the kids, then go away with friends for New Year.

except for when my children were very little and I had no money, all my Christmases are very relaxed affairs.
I buy the now very few presents from September on. I decide what I'm cooking on the day and make it as simple as I like (for those 2 people who come over on Christmas day they can like it or fucking not, i dont care)
I refuse any meet ups I dont want (thinking here of mils do on boxing day)
The things I like are far out of most peoples budget so I ask them to give to charity what they would have spent. So I've no angst about what I get for presents, I also ask those few people what they would like and if no answer it's a gift voucher. I feel no guilt about this, because I tried.

Luckily DP buggers off to his mum on boxing day and leaves me alone, I've had enough of people by then.
But no stress, no arguments, oh and because pets, my current tree is tiny, takes 10 minutes to set up and I'm done.

I start dreading Christmas from October onwards, just too much to do, shopping, wrapping, cards and pressure all round.
We have a big extended family, although no kids myself.
19 presents to buy, used to be 26, but unfortunately people have died recently.
I feel a bit Bah humbug anout it these days, and am so relieved when it's over.

Ds has autism and doesn't like change so we don't bother with it. Once term is finished all is fine.

It's mostly only ever been me and the 2 DC so it's quite low stress. They're adults now so it's even easier. We don't have any other family basically. On the one hand it's great not to have all the visits, hassle etc. But they never had that joy of seeing extended family and of course extra gifts! So it's swings and roundabouts really. I felt bad for them when they were young and used to buy them a lot myself to compensate.

I don't know if it's in their nature or just because it's not something we did when they were growing up but they would now hate having other people here or needing to do multiple visits elsewhere. We have fun. We play board games, watch Christmas movies and all that. I think I am now really appreciating not having any commitments elsewhere.

Easy here because we keep up it very low-key and keep a very tight lid on all the nonsense. No parties, no mass catering, no organised fun, no competitive consumerism, no exchanging cards with people you haven’t spoken to for years, no presents for extended family etc etc. People who choose to martyr themselves at Christmas then moan about how much of a nightmare it all is are fools.

It's just DH and I so Christmas is very quiet, no events or friends/family to visit.

We both have jobs which mean we work Christmas Eve and then Boxing Day so it's just another week really!